Cupid Had A Thing For Me
I believe some people are destined to be together, you know twin souls destined to endure the ups and downs of life together - Soulmates. But Cupid had struck me so many times in the past, that I was beginning to think that he was personally assigned to me, my own guardian angel. This led me to question the idea of "soul mate", because at some point in every one of those past relationships, i thought I had met the one, my "soul mate" because we had a lot alike, a lot of chemistry. But is it just down to chemistry? What about Biology? LOL. I am just playing...
I am sure this feeling is universal, or am I alone in this? I hope not. Love is a crazy thing that makes you do more crazy things, blinds you to logic, dumbs your brain down to merely choices of emotions, helps magnify basic human qualities and conceals obvious character flaws, you overlook things that are visibly there - until the veil wears of at least. No wonder they say love is blind.
I have had my share of ex's, some of which I was sure at one point in our relationship that we were eventually going to end up married to each other but fate kept having the final say. At the time, I would feel a ting of heartbreak, whether I initiated the split or not, I always felt bad not having to be in their company anymore.
First Of Its Kind
I remember my first relationship (sort of). I was in my teens, we were acquainted but weren't really on that talking level yet. We took a liking at each other the first day we set eyes on each other but nobody was talking. I was a shy lanky dude who was usually an object of admiration in the female circle, I didn't know what to do with all that attention.
She liked me, I could tell, I liked her, that much was obvious and I assumed she wanted me to make a move but my guts failed me (yeah, shame on me). She was a rascal of a girl, never gave a damn about what no one did or said about her, her passive moves towards me started becoming more active (Well, someone had to make the move, since I was obviously being a sissy. LOL).
She did all kinds of things to get my attention, I wasn't budging ( I was obviously too shy to), then she took her plans towards my more outspoken and expressive cousin. Dude thought miss lady was into her, little did he know it was just a ploy to get to me, he was just a detour. It dawned on him when she had written a beautiful love letter, donned with a big heart shape at the bottom and handed it to him to relay to me, lol, dude lost his cool and lashed out at her. He was offended she would think him an errand boy to make such demeaning request of him. They had a major fallout, and I somehow became the center of it because she came to me (finally) to complain about my cousin's actions towards her, and I didn't need to hear from my cousin because I already knew what was going on. I played the mediator, but they obviously had no intentions of making up. At that point, my cousin was still my cousin and now my crush was now a friend. DESTINY had brought us together (destiny indeed LOL).
First Love Drags On The Longest
Well, as you might have guessed, it took off from there. We spent much of everyday together, alone in each other's company (many times in the open). She was seriously intrigued by me, it was as though I was some kind of mythical creature and she was eager to know everything about me. At this point, we were practically dating, but we never had an alone time in a private place.
Our first kiss happened in one of those very open places. We had agreed to meet at a library (No intentions to read). Back then, seeing each other's face alone was so satisfying, it was almost orgasmic.
At the library we had seen enough of each other and decided to start heading out, in the staircase, in some kind of weird show of affection, she asked me to spit into her palms (huh?). I asked why? She said dont ask, just do it, I said no, I can kiss you if you want to (Yeah!, manning up finally). I could tell this suggestion appealed to her better because her face lit up, and without further invitation, I moved closer to have and gave her the wettest most affectionate kiss I had ever given any girl. It was a few moment of magic. We kissed so passionately while hugging each other. It felt like a scene in those war movies where the soldier's wife would see him off to the train station and they share one last passionate kiss with the thought they might not see each other again. (quite the picture)
We broke off the embrace and dislodged our lips, and I could swear none of us wanted to leave each other's arms, the chemistry was beautiful.
Ultimately, this love story ended when I moved to a new city, I felt bad, I missed her but I knew it was bound to happen soon, both of us were still in our teens, and there was life ahead to explore and we enjoyed it while it lasted. We ran into each other again 4 years later in my new city, but then the flame had apparently died and we didn't bother to revive it.
Coming Of Age, The First True Sucker Punch.
A short while later, I was in the university, I kinda coasted through, didn't have much of a social life but would get into a pointless relationship every now and then.
This one though wasn't pointless, we loved each other ( I think so). She was a very beautiful young woman with the perfect body and could whine it like Shakira. We were in love, we had been together for a year before I found out that she had been spoken for, she didn't think I needed to know. I was broken, I was gonna lose her because I was no match for her suitor. Money and social status was such a big pull and I lost out. I had really thought something was there, I thought it was gonna be her, we loved each other, we had so much in common and we respected each other a lot but, fate played the last card. I moved on, just as she did, in fact she moved on, away across the Atlantic to her now husband.
Sad face - Exhales!!!
Miss Mystery Damsel
I had left the university now, I fiery young man, a more robust ladies man. I had more flings now than actual relationships, because unlike during my university days and prior, I knew what I wanted at this point, more focus on financially productive ventures and less distractions - relationships. It was during this period of great resolve that I ran into the girl whose presence in my life almost brought about my early demise...I had thought she was the one, I was more matured now, settled, making money, everything was good, then with a single blow, she stole my joy and almost stole my life...Damn, I dont want to get into this again, I have already written about her here (I fell in love with a sociopath Pt 1). I am still writing the second part of that one.
My Happily Ever After
Just like everything in life, a single experience doesn't define a person, my previous episode, right before I finally met my wife was the darkest and most hurtful experience of betrayal of love and friendship I had felt in my life. It was hurtful, it was devastating but it wasn't the end of the world, the world doesn't care if you are reeling in pain or if your heart has just been broken, it keeps revolving, people keep laughing and living. After I had healed, over a year plus, I met one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen in my life, her smile blew me away.
I got a call from a very close friend of mine, he came into town and wanted to meet, we hadn't seen for a while and he just wanted to say hello. I drove to the address he gave me, he was attending a friend's wedding (he was the best-man). When the wedding was over, we left. He told me he had to see someone, said we should pick the person up then go hang out, I said cool, why not.
Few minutes later, we were there, he made a call to the person, and we waited. I was blasting away on the car's sound system, a collection of my favorite gangster rap, then we heard a tap on the car, I looked around and saw this beautiful human female. Oh my days! Her smile was exquisite, she had this beautiful dentition that looks as though her teeth arent a complete set, you know the whole 32...I told my friend that I had seen a wife, he smiled and waved me off.
We are married and have a beautiful daughter.
Take Away Of My Rant
Keeping an open mind while dating, prepares you for any uncertainties.
Love is beautiful, it actually helps you grow and attain some kind of emotional balance and maturity, dont block it out.
Heartbreak is gonna happen, it usually does, it is a learning curve and a hurdle you must pass through to get to the finish line.
The end of a relationship is not the end of the world, dust yourself off, live again and love again, the best is up ahead.
The world doesnt care about how broken you are, if its pity you want, you will get it but pity doesnt help you grow, whenever you hit a snag in whatever you do, dont stop trying, simply change course and keep sailing.
Yeah sometime I think about it