Pros of Living with Parents

A few days ago, I have stated the negative side of living with the parents or the family in general. Those mentioned statements were just a few of them, so you know that there are still other factors but they are just minor ones.

Today, as I have promised, I am going to share the positive side of this situation. This is my side because I have to ask for my husband's opinion later on about him living with the in-laws and perhaps write an article about that too. For now, let me spill my verdicts.

Back Story

My husband and I have been married for six years now. From day one, we had lived away from our parents, we live on our own, we already acquired our property and for five years, we have been happily living in Cebu City. Before even settling down, I was fixed in my decision that we must live away from both parents, my husband's party, and mine too. Thus, when we were in Cebu City, we manage everything and took care of all the household needs by ourselves as well.

But then, when I got pregnant, late 2019 and gave birth in July 2020, things changed, our priorities changed, and all else about our lives had somehow shifted. From living on our own, all I wanted was to live with the parents so I could have someone to help me out with the baby. It was hard, I was crying, I felt bad not being able to give the best environment to my baby.

Without really thinking of the negative side of living with the parents, we just immediately decided to go, all we could think of was the best for Matti.

Pros of Living with Parents

There are so many positive sides to living with the parents and this outweighs the negative aspects. We can, at least for now, brush away the disadvantages.

Here are the pros:

Better Environment

Our house in Cebu is located at the heart of the city, we were in the city thus there are a lot of vehicles, buildings and other city elements while my parent's house is based in the province, it is two hours away from Tagbilaran City and is surrounded by trees and rice fields.

Comparing both locations, it is evident that the provincial one fits well with a growing baby. I would want him to inhale fresh air. When we got out of the hospital, he was just inside our house all the time. It was pandemic time too so we were restricted to go out. I couldn't even get him out for his morning sunbath. We'd just go to the fire exit and get some sun.

Then there's noise pollution. Our room is located in a spot which is very near to the road, most motorcycles and vehicles there had been customized with a bigger muffler thus a single motorcycle engine sound wakes up my poor baby from his sleep.

Safer Location

With the pandemic still at hand, I thought my baby won't be able to enjoy the outside world at all. But when we moved to Bohol, we were able to go out to other places. Considering the population of Cebu versus Bohol, I can say that Bohol is safer. There are fewer malls, establishments and the people here in the province know everyone,, they know who gets the virus and can easily quarantine the contacts if needed. There might be positive cases but they can trace them immediately.

For the past nine months that we have been living here, we have gone to beaches, mountain resorts, and some other tourist spots, we just had to observe the proper social distancing and wearing of mask protocols.

Food Preparation and House Chores

One of the problems we had when Matti was born was who gets to do the house chores. As I need to recover, my husband did all of these, from cooking, washing the dishes, washing our clothes, cleaning the house, he did it. He was also exhausted and had no sleep as well, he only had two weeks of paternal leave and so when he was back at work, I had no choice but to move as well but then there's the baby too! It was hard, I guess some moms are good at multitasking things plus the baby but I was not.

Whenever my parents would call us online and ask how we are doing, I would break down and cry because I felt like our house was a mess, there is a lot of laundry waiting, there are so many things to do but I was stuck with the baby, don't get me wrong, my attention was all on Matti but I was also thinking of getting our house fixed and cleaned but I just can't. Perhaps I was being hard on myself but that was the real score, I felt miserable and I can't help but cry.

My parents then suggested going home and they will take care of me. My parents were sorry for not being there when they were with my sister-in-law twice when she gave birth, even traveling thousands of miles just so they could support them in Dubai. And now in my case, they were not able to travel due to the pandemic when I am just an island away.

So then as we moved here, they indeed took care of everything for us, our food, we have a house helper to prepare our meals, she'd even prepare Matti's food sometimes, as for the laundry, my mother has her automatic washing machine so we'd just put our laundry and it does the job.

In short, we were pampered here. I even gained my pregnancy weight back! My husband had gained too!

Babysitting

One of the best things that I could say as an advantage of being here with the parents is that I get to have my me-time a lot of times as my parents and siblings would love to babysit Matti.

Matti is not the cry-baby type of baby, he would cry if he doesn't recognize the face of the one carrying him. So with my parents, Matti still felt secured and well taken care of. They love Matti that they said they could keep him if he's just not breastfed. Since Matti needs me, they have no choice but to give Matti back when he'd ask for milk but if Matti can live with a formula, they can keep him. I laughed at it because I will never give Matti a bottle.

Family Bonding

As my parents are already advanced in years, the one thing that I want them right now is the family bond. Them being able to enjoy the remaining years as retired individuals and seniors. I want to take care of them too when they get older and perhaps what the pandemic brought to us as a family is a bond that we didn't get to do when I was still living away from them.

I get to know their feelings more, what makes them happy, what makes them mad and to also solicit my advice which they'd happily accept too.

My parents love James too and I sometimes even feel like they love my husband more than me. Funny but it is true.

Conclusion

I could state a lot of other advantages of staying with our parents. Indeed, our life in Cebu City was very different than living here in Bohol. There are negative facets to it but being able to savor the fresh air, the beauty of the nature around us, as well as the love of our parents and family, hefts out the cons.

xoxo,

mommy jean of momentswithmatti

Love harder than any pain you've ever felt.