Disclaimer: Lead image from Unsplash.
I could hardly stand, I felt the pain in my bottom, I just woke up, then I realized I had just given birth, thank God it was normal, this explains why I can stand on my own now even if I just give birth a few hours ago.
I looked around but saw no baby. Where’s my baby?
Then things flashed right in front of my eyes - I got pregnant by a stranger!
My husband is still sleeping on the couch next to my bed, he looked exhausted that he didn’t even notice me standing up.
I observed him as he snores, does he even have a single idea? What could be his reaction? He might be angry with me if he already knows that the baby is not his own!
I sobbed as I placed my two hands in my face! But what’s important is the child, where is she right now?
I went back to bed after peeing, oh, the pain of peeing after giving birth, it’s unbearable! I couldn’t sleep anymore, I kept looking for the best position to put myself to sleep but I couldn’t! All that’s going on in my mind is how this happened.
It’s like a dream, I can’t recall the details, all I know is that I kissed a man, I couldn’t even figure out how he looked, what’s his name or whatever. I can only remember what had happened - it was not pleasurable too!
As I was trying to remember the stranger’s face, I heard a loud knock on the door and the husband moved, looked around, then stood up, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. He went straight to the door and opened the knob, it’s the nurse with the baby! I could tell because there were some tender cries! I wanted to open my eyes and take a peek but I have to continue pretending!
The nurse came in and woke me up!
Nurse: Hi ma'am! I am rooming in your baby girl!
Me: (trying to act as if I just woke up) Oh…
Nurse: you can breastfeed her now
I nodded and she left. She had no further word and just shut the door. I couldn’t look into my husband’s eyes as he tries to observe me unwrap the baby. Why am I unwrapping the baby’s cloth anyway? I don’t know but I wanted to see her body.
I was shocked to see the baby’s fingers, they stick to each other, like that of a duck! I held it with my hand and tears started falling down my face. I sobbed and sobbed, I couldn't believe this!
I hugged the baby and I could feel the bump on her back. She is crying too!
My husband didn’t say a word. He just hugged me. I can’t tell him and I had instant regrets right there and then - the baby has imperfections and this is due to my infidelity!
This was just a dream. I woke up this morning and I was so thankful it was just a dream. I really can’t believe that I sinned against my husband and bore a child from a stranger! I will never forgive myself for bearing a child out of a one-night stand plus thinking about the baby girl - she had her fingers clasped together, her back has a hump. I could feel the pain of a mother seeing her child like that.
In my dream I wished that it wasn’t her, I wished that she didn’t have those physical disabilities.
But then again, it was just a dream! I was relieved! I was hugging my baby boy Matti when I woke up as he was breastfeeding and I kissed him while assuring myself that it was all a dream.
I know that I would never do anything that could ruin my marriage but it was also unfortunate that I had that dream, what message was it trying to relay? What could be the reason for me to have a dream like that? Was there a meaning to that dream? Who was that stranger?
Ahh, too many questions that I am not even sure if I could still remember this in the next hour or two. I easily forget my dreams that’s why I typed the details immediately as I woke up.
Anyway, have you had this kind of dream before?
Update: I dreamed about this when we were still in Cebu City. Upon reaching home yesterday, I found out my brother's wife is pregnant! Oh wow! Is it a coincidence? What could be the message behind this...
xoxo,
Mother | Boholana | Cebu | Philippines | Travel | Photography Enthusiast | Calligraphy | Art | Crypto Noob
woah grabehag damgo nimo mamsh oi...makaluluoy jud ang bata pag engung anang naay apan sa iyang physical aspects