Be firm: You only got yourself ♥️
Too often, we expect people to have the same capacity to give and share as us. We expect them to perceive the world in the same way and hold the same values. And, just as the second noble truth of Buddhism suggests, when life doesn't match our expectations, we suffer. It doesn't matter how big your heart was because not everyone around you got the same big heart as yours.
In our existence, there were a lot of times you experienced breakthroughs in which you'll search for a shoulder to lean on. We might think that our family or trusted friends is the sole outlet without knowing that they're silently stab us. There'll be times when people let you down. You might expect a sales assistant to be more helpful or your parents to feel sorry for you. When things don't go the way you want them to, you might feel disappointed and hurt. We’re always expecting the world to adjust to us and meet our needs. However, we can never control other people's actions – only our own. How people act is merely a manifestation of their inner world.
Our expectations can direct us towards changes we need to make within – for example, a craving for somebody's presence might reveal a void that's shouting for your own love, care and attention.
It's impractical to drop all of our expectations because they often help us protect our energy. Therefore, I suggest you:
1. Realize that expectations can hinder inner peace
2. Discover how they might help you on your inner healing journey
3. Identify if you need to make shifts in your relationships.
Reducing expectations and not taking things personally are liberating acts. One way I try to do this is to assume the best in others – by encouraging compassion, you can break the connection to the outcome you craved. For example, if someone doesn't hold the door open for you, you can reframe your thinking by telling yourself there's a good reason for it; perhaps they're going through a tough time, or they simply forgot because they're in a rush to get to somewhere important.
As morbid as this sounds, if a loved one disappoints me, I tell myself that it could be the last time I ever see or speak to them. This inspires gratitude and allows me to enjoy their presence, rather than focusing on what expectations of mine they're not fulfilling. Also, remember that no one's perfect, including yourself. People don't always get it right.