Today, I am triggered of writing something personal and emotional. This is not the topic that I have in mind originally, but I just go with the flow with what come into words. This is a story of how we experienced a welcome and a goodbye.
Last week, we have a funeral service in our church to pay our respect to our dear friend and church mate, who also "expired" because of Chronic Kidney Disease. The cemetery is the same with the cemetery where my mother is buried. And I took the opportunity to visit her tomb and can't keep myself from being emotional because I missed her so much and I'm thankful for all that she has taught me and all that she has done for me and to our family. I can't keep those tears from falling.
My mom died last year, a week after I gave birth to my 3rd child Eila. As we welcome a new family member, we say goodbye to one great mom. One of my biggest regrets is not able to see her before her death. She's been away to us, because her condition is not good and we decided to make her near to Davao hospital. So she stayed there for how many months and she really longed to be home, so my husband fetched her and bring her home. Our house is just a few minutes away from theirs but I was not able to see her because that time, I am starting to feel pain, starting to have labor. 1 day after her homecoming, I was admitted to the hospital and was able to gave birth at 11:58 PM. Our baby has an infection because of my UTI and I was also scheduled for an operation that's why we cannot go home immediately.
That week, she was scheduled with dialysis but, it did not went well because of low BP. Until the next dialysis schedule she struggled again and we decided to bring her back to Davao City because things were not getting fine for her. Before she was transported to Davao, she was brought to the emergency room of the same hospital where I was admitted. But I am not yet allowed to roam around so I was not able to see her. My father and his friend bring my mom to Davao again. 2 days after she was admitted in Davao she called and ask about her retirement and how was the baby. So I said, don't worry I already filed your retirement, it just needs your signature and then I told her that the baby is healthy and fine. She said she saw the picture and they have a similar nose, so I just laughed. That was our last talk.
Three days after she called, we are discharged and went home. A day after we are discharged, at the dawn of the first Sunday of February, my father texted, my mom already said goodbye to us. Tears fell down, I know and I prayed to God for the situation of my mom, I know that day will come, but I did not saw that was the time. Her funeral was arranged, they did not allow me to engage that much and told me to stay strong because I have a baby. I should not stress myself, because I might experience "binat". In my lonely moments, I cry in silence but I prayed to God to keep me strong for my child. My mom's death is victory because finally she rested from pain of needles and dialysis and any other complications. She's in a better place, a place called Heaven prepared for those who accepted Jesus Christ as Personal Savior.
With the love and support of the people around me, I was able to surpass that moment of my life. Now, looking back to the days I am with my mom, I know I have at least make her proud of what I become. I know I am not a perfect daughter, I have my shortcomings but with her love and compassion, she molded me to become a better person. She may not be with us now, but her virtues, her love will always be in our minds and hearts.
So for those who still have moms and dads in their side, show them your love and care. Don't wait for the time that it would be too late for them to feel your love.
Related Article: My Mom and her fight with CKD
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Bisaya diay ka maam...kasakit ba ni sa heart oi 😢 anyway, glad we have platforms like this one to vent out and hopefully feel better. Our God is great and He will sustain you with comfort and strength. Keep the faith...