Hello Noise friends, how are you all? It's been almost a month since I posted here... I don't have much to share every day, but now I just want to release this pain and heaviness in my chest that I feel... It's good there is a platform like Noise where we can vent. My heart aches because we lost our beloved pet, Brownie, and I feel so guilty... She has been ill for a month as a result of my misdiagnosis and poor management of her medication. Last month, I told my son to pour over some flea powder on her fur, then after a day, she seemed to have a hacking cough as if something stuck on her throat, then developed a runny nose accompanied by sneezing. I immediately suspected that these symptoms were perhaps a side effect of the flea powder, so we bathed her to remove any remaining powder on her fur. However, she developed red eyes, periocular edema and itchiness which cause her to rub and scratch her face and eyes. So I thought she might have an allergic reaction to the powder. We then gave her an anti-histamine tablet that I read on Google to be safe for dogs. Afterwards, the sneezing stopped and she became drowsy, a common and harmless side effect of the medication, nonetheless she developed anorexia.  After a few days, Brownie was still not eating, and a neighbor informed me that there was a pest going on around and that some of the dogs in the neighborhood had died unexpectedly. it worried me because our dog was not immunized against the four most common dog diseases, such as distemper and parvo. I read that once an adult dog contracted one of those viruses, there was a 50% mortality, however, a chance of survival is possible as long as the secondary bacterial infection is controlled and supportive therapy is administered. I then gave our dog an antibiotic with Kaolin and Pectin, which are activated charcoals that bind bacteria and toxins out of the body. Brownie then improved, walked and barked more, and began to eat chicken broth and meat. However, after some time, she suddenly became lethargic again, and a neighbor suggested that I try Ivermectin (for human), which made her dog well after taking 1 tab for 3 days. Ivermectin not only kills parasites but also viruses. So I gave our dog 1 tab in the hopes that if she had caught distemper or parvo, it might help eradicate them. She improved over time, but she developed twitching of muscles in her head and jaw, hypotonia in her extremity muscles, and difficulty breathing. I wondered why all those symptoms appeared, so I researched and found out that they could be caused by both flea powder and Ivermectin adverse effect, however they were also seen in distemper syndrome. Whatever the cause, still that was so foolish of me to give her a human dose, I forgot that she was a dog. Worse, I tried my hand at being a doc for an animal. I was so irresponsible ... I had forgotten, having studied med, that human and dog species are very different. I was confident that I could treat a dog better than a vet. May God forgive me for my irresponsibility... for having harmed, not just any other dog, but our own... Unfortunately, on the afternoon of December 16, Brownie suffered a respiratory arrest and gave up. She died in my arms... As I looked outside, with tears in my eyes, it was the golden hour, with sunbeams dazzling around, peering through the window, and tree leaves swaying in the east wind... Looking sadly at our lifeless furry pet, she looked as if she were only fast asleep... so beautiful in her golden coat, all gleaming in the sunlight... After paying our last tribute and asking for her forgiveness, we decided to lay her in a small yard next to our old house, beneath our jackfruit tree. Now there's our beloved Brownie, sleeping peacefully and pain-free with nature all around her.