Why I am here? Do I need to? Is it worth my time? Will I be regretting this or it will be the other way around?

Growing up from a normal family has been the greatest blessing I received. I was able to grow with a complete family. By the way, we are a family of six. I have two brother and one sister. Like the typical life we have, I was able to finish my study, earn a degree, and has a regular work.

Studying is easy if your family has enough funds to send you to school, but my experience is the other way around. I studied college to pursue my dream with the help of my auntie and uncle. It was difficult because the pressure and expectations from them is very high. However, with perseverance, willingness, and dreams, I was able to finish school. Of course with prayers!

The question, were I able to work to with a job that is aligned with the degree I studied with? The answer is NO.

I am now a Call Center Agent. Why, this? I supposed to be teaching in our town's private school, however my plan did not turned out as what I planned it to be. Financially, we struggled after I graduated and I am the only one that can help my family with their needs. And I was able to do so. Let's make the story short, yes I am now a Call Center Agent.

The question above, why I am here? I wanted to earn. That is the first reason. I have dreams. I have plans. I have needs. I have wants. And I need to support my family. Being a breadwinner at this age has never been a plan. I thought that I will enjoy my years going somewhere. But again, it turned out to be the other way around. Did I regret? I am sad? Again the answer is NO.

Why no? Simple. It is because I made myself proud. I made myself proud because at a young age, there are three people already depending on me. There are three people already asking me to help them reach their needs. I am tired, I am exhausted, I am stressed. That is the truth, but the pride I have in myself make it less. I am more than happy seeing my family and myself slowly getting what they need and want. Sometimes, I wasn't able to get what I want even though I can because I need to think of their needs first before mine. I may be look like a happy go lucky in social media, but I am not. But what makes me happy and urge to continue? It is the smile on my mom's face every time I can give what they need and what. Their simple, "Salamat, Nak!" "Pag amping diha!" "God Bless You!" makes my heart flutter and forget all the stress I have and continue to work hard. Continue to strive. And continue to do my best.

With this plat form, I do hope I can give them more of what they need. I hope with this one, I can put much smile on their faces. We all know and I know as well, this will not be easy, it will take time, lots of blood and tears, but I do believe that with positive attitude and perseverance I will make it.

I have a different and high dreams planned for myself, but I wanted them to realized and reached theirs before mine. That will make me happier and fulfilled. Not now, but I know it will be soonest.

This may be tiring, but I will never see the result if I will not try, I will never see how I will grow if I will not do it now. Why do it tomorrow if I can do it today? No such big thing that comes from being big at the beginning. It is a process, it a choice, it is a procedure. All positive small things will turn out to be big someday. Time will decide. Patience is a virtue as they all say.

I am doing this for a reason and the reason is what I wrote above. This may be a long process but I know it has a positive ending. It will have a good result. No hard work that will not be paid off. Everything that is good will result to goodness as well.

Hopefully, this time it will make a difference. I wanted to put a smile with my mom's heart. The more smile I can see in them, the more smile I can wear in my face. Seeing them happy makes me happy.