A dear coworker had a house that was a family inheritance and I say had, because sadly she lost it due to an edge failure and half or part of the house gave way, but thank God nothing happened to her and her family, but in the blink of an eye she was left without a roof over her head and lost many of her belongings, fortunately she was able to move to her mother's house, but being a small apartment soon began the problems of coexistence, so she desperately needed her own home. At that time neither she nor I could apply for a mortgage loan to buy a house because of our condition of hired, but we thought of making an exception, so that she could solve her situation, but envy made its own.
In the same way, from the moment that Credit Management learned of the tragedy of this colleague, they thought of ways to help her in her situation, and one of the ways was to prepare an Administrative Ruling explaining the reasons for granting her a mortgage loan by way of exception, It is understandable that they wanted to help and many of our colleagues were happy about this possibility, but there is always someone envious, so a colleague who called herself a friend approached the office of the Assistant Credit Manager, asking for an explanation of the reasons why this colleague would be helped and she would not, and even demanded that she be helped as well.
This is one of many stories where envy is present or comes to the surface, in case someone has doubts, let's remember that envy is that feeling of sadness before the good that another person possesses or happens, in other words, the displeasure or annoyance produced in a person before the good that happens to a third party.
This terrible unhealthy feeling, I think it has been witnessed by everyone who may be reading this publication, and it is truly terrible to see another human being feel sadness or anger at the good that happens to another and the worst thing to wish what that person has, I am glad when good things happen to others, it is nice to see someone appreciated and loved when good things happen to him, when he achieves small or big things, I am not saying that it is wrong to long for the same for oneself, what is ugly is to wish just what that person has, to be upset or saddened by an achievement of another person, if we work to obtain it, be it goods, food, character or something else, we will achieve it with perseverance, but I believe that envious people are insecure and have low self-esteem, in my opinion, I am not a psychologist or psychoanalyst.
Now, let's let people with more experience in these things explain to us what envy is, why we envy and what characteristics are present in a moment of envy.
It is a way of experiencing a negative emotion (fury, resentment, anger, exasperation, indignation, annoyance, irritability, hostility, regret, melancholy, pessimism, sorrow, self-pity, despondency, despair) that is transformed into feelings and then into unpleasant thoughts. Some consider envy as a personality trait (Taylor, 1988).
Why do we envy?
Because when we compare ourselves socially with others our deficiencies or shortcomings emerge, since there is always someone better than us. Thus, socially, the so-called "good envy" would be the same as "bad envy", since it is essentially a negative behavior.
According to Parrot (1991), during an episode of envy, the following characteristics are present:
1.Desire for what the other person has, frustrated desire,
2.Inferiority: sadness about one's own deficiencies or inferiority in relation to the envied person; anguish about one's own status; despair at the possibility of not having what the envied person has,
3.Resentment focused on the agent: resentment towards a specific person or group; dislike for their superiority; anger and hatred towards those who are supposed to be responsible;
4.Global resentment at the injustice of circumstances or fate;
5.Guilt for feeling ill will toward the envied; believing that feeling grudges is wrong; and 6.
6.Admiration, emulation of the envied or identification with the envied.
So, envy is present everywhere and as long as we do not accept ourselves as we are and understand that there is no need to compare ourselves with others, that everything comes if we are ready for it, so let's start by loving and accepting ourselves as we are, buying ourselves with ourselves for wanting to improve every day and be better than we were yesterday, either reading, talking, running, jogging in order as you decide to move forward, but if you are going to compare yourself do it in the healthiest way possible not to frustrate you, do it to inspire you.
Before retiring I thank all of you who have come this far and I hope this publication has helped you as much as it has helped me to reflect on this feeling that although it is very human, it is not healthy, especially if it is a constant in our lives.
