Cactus or Pillow? You choose...
There's this something that gained my attention while in the midst of comprehending some stories in wattpad, someone asked...
*****what will you choose if you are torn between someone you loved or someone that loves you? (mahal ka or mahal mo?)*****
This question makes me think, it's like choosing between hugging a pillow or a cactus haha.
If my right self were to answer that one inquiry, I would just simply choose someone that loves me, because in a simple manner of explaining it, heart can be taught to learn to love that person, but you can't blame those people that will choose the other one, because what they can do if their heart only beats for that specific person,
You can't force someone to love you back or reciprocate your feeling towards them , but you can teach yourself or your heart rather, to learn to love that person who loves you. So why bother to choose that person who doesn't love you. Why choose them over a person that deserves you, it's not okay namn if you choose a person you love but they love somebody else. What? Are you okay with that scenario? That being just a mere an extra to others love story.
Okay that's just my right self answering that one but if my masochistic self and a toxic trait that so addicted to red flags, my real score of mine about this one is, I would choose the latter, I will chose the person that I love, even that person doesn't love me, even that person love someone else, even he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, even if it pains me to the point that it hurts and just makes my world crumbling down every time I see that person loving someone else, in the arm of his lover.
Pain and suffering is part of being in love, for me love can make people go crazy, and do stuffs that they wouldn't find themselves doing it, but when cupid pierce the arrow to your heart and the same time cupid doesn't pierce your lovers heart.
It's the worst one, a single sided love,
***Painful?...Yes so much,***
***Toxic?... Yes often times,***
That person is my pain at the same time my pain reliever,
Even seeing him happily enjoying his lover existence, seeing them so full in love and laugh like there's no one around and the focus is only with each other, I will still sit their hearing his laugh, how can a laugh became so painful,
Even people said that I should grow up, and find someone that loves me, I'll still choose to stay to that person that I love, red flag na kung red flag and being labeles as stupid in love I don't care, how can I prevent myself to not live that person who only the one who can make my heart go pounding like crazy and give me so much butterflies but yeah reality is a b*tch, bye bye butterflies, pain lingers.
Okay haha to be honest I just want to experience a huge heart break when it comes to livers relationships, is it wierd? Well I'm weird hahaa I love pains to the point that I'm manifesting to get to feel one haha, actually I experience one sided live before but I'm now fine but still I choosed him over someone that showed me live and care and even court me haha, but as stupid as my heart I choose to be blinded by one sided and yeah ut hurts but it's enough, seing the person you live so happy is enough, loving him without asking fir anything back is enough for me I just want him to let me just adore him but yeab I moved on because I know it's just my stupidity and it's not very painful I want more haha
I want to experience comparing myself to someone they love and sya the lines through my mind
***"I wish I was her because because you love her not me",***
***"I love you so damn much, I love you even you give me so much pain but still consider as my missing piece and my happiness"***
(yes namn shempre joke lang yarn saya maging single hahaha)
But still, seriously, that person will always be my painful butterflies, my unrecruited love, my black coffee that allures and attract me but left me a bitter taste at the end. Again how can I untangle strings that's never been attached.
**That's it for now, choose what your heart wants but still include and never disregard your mind because mind and heart are the essence and important part of falling in love, if heart is the only thing you want to followed then don't, used your mind and heart.**
**Love yourself first hahaha**
`Flexing my lovely sponsor here, thabk you always😊`
lead Image source:
https://www.thediaryforlife.com/sad-quotes/
Image source:
https://www.facebook.com/One-sided-LOVE-422605435194022/posts
**Have a great night to all. Sleepwell, I'm going to take my deep slumber na, since it's already late, goodnight everyone, enjoy the rest of the night, stay safe and keep yourself hydrated.**
2/30: Something I find comfort in
No one can withstand the amenity of accommodating something that we acquisition ourselves lost and drown to the comfort it offers.
To have this specific stuffs that we do or we have that gives us the fellow feeling and contenment. I'm grateful to my "somethings" that I find myself comforted to its.
Gonna flex first my lovely sponsors before going through this topic, thank you so much as always. Kindly please check them out people🤗
There's a lot of stuffs that I found it comfoeting but for me there's this specific and really the most stuffs that gets me so overwhelemed and contented, those somethings that's really so addicting that it calms my soul to the point that I can just stay calm because of its existence.
**MY SOMETHINGS THAT'S SO COMFORTING:**
**Coffee**
-Always been my comfort drink every single day, hehez, I'm so addicted on drinking coffee specially hot black and broad one, I'm not into Ice coffees these past few days cause I find it boring haha I don't know it's just me but coffee are much more better if it's hot or warm, the taste lingers and smells that's very addicting, haha I drink three times a day actually but some times twice is enough cause palpitations are always present and I easily get nervous so I started to just lessen and manage my caffeine.
**Reading**
-I'm not a book worm or what, but I find it so comforting when I'm reading, especially stories in wattpad haha I can spend my whole day just lying down my bed and reading until I get to finished the story haha sometimes I just read and read and prevent myself to go scroll through my social medias, also this is one of the reason on my late replies haha I'm too hooked up on reading that I doesn't even realized the time and also don't give a damn about messages or who's creature is messaging me in the middle my readings haha.
**Nature**
-I'm not a nature liver but I find comfort on being surround by them, just by the presence of the aesthetically pleasing skies, the sunset and sunrise, the moon and the stars the serves as light at the cold night, and of course the huge trees and green plants, with matching various tint of flowers, who on earth will not be comforted by what I've mentioned, I just like the ambiance of being surrounded by nature, I'm not a nature lover I repeat hahaha.
**Music**
-Music is life, no more further explanation just enjoy and be drown to listening and feeling every words on the lyrics.
**Writing**
-To express all my unspoken thoughts of the vast of expedition in my mind is such a great feeling, I find it so liberated and just a solace when I'm writing down my thoughts, that's why it's a cliché to have my personal diary but still haha a clasic yet I love the most, also no one should be reaing those black notebook where I kept all the unspoken thoughts.
**Watching the same favorite movie all over again**
-Am i just the one who does this? Hahaha it's weird that I almost memorized all the lines of my favorite movies hahaha but still never get tired or re-watch it all over again, I don't know but that's me hahaha my comfy movies are a walk to remember and the notebook haha I'm forever be loyal to that two haha always been my classic favorite that gives me chills down through my spine and still falling inlive by watching it.
**Eating**
-Cause who doesnt? Hahaha eating can release stress haha and it's just too addicting haha and difficult to avoid.
**Alone time**
-Having your solace on your alone time is such a great feeling, freeing yourself from the burdens and excruciating thoughts and stuffs on this reality that offers to us is such a huge help, having your alone time can help you to be yourself, to be more of you, and to have time appreciating yourself and checking if you are still good.
**Running**
-it's my self comfoting thing I did when I'm stress and thoughts aren't properly on the right one, my minds need to get focus so I just go have a ran maybe for a minutes or what until I feel great and tired and that's it, I out my focus and all my attention on running, I just find it comforting for me even if it's so tiring haha.
**That's it for now, I'm so glad that I found myself having the will to write again because of this 30 days of gratitude haha, gosh it's a huge save for me gosh I felt like I'm not on my proper mind these pas t few days or maybe I'm just overthinking things again hahaha...**
Lead Image Source:
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/426082814745433326/
Image Source:
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/549650329523291875/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/290060032236601878/
https://ravenclawreign.tumblr.com/post/168439076128/amp
https://digitsole.com/choose-right-running-shoes/
https://everydaypower.com/lonely-quotes/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/746190231992152554/
https://www.society19.com/movies-to-feed-nostalgia/amp/
https://www2.aasptjsp.net.br/2020/04/26/em-segundo-encontro-aasptj-sp-e-nucleo-ampliam-discussoes-em-torno-do-trabalho-remoto/
https://moodboards-galore-dahling.tumblr.com/post/634263262508302336/my-personal/amp
`By the way, thank you for reading, let's enjoy the day, stay hydrated and keep safe to all, have a great day everyoje. Happy Wednesday!🤗`
Cheers to a hundred (Read.Cash)
After a billion years of waiting haha kidding I'm just a seven months old user here, not so great, yet not also a bad writer I guess? Hahaha well sometimes some written notion of mine has it's sense, good to read and be taken seriously yet often I just share whatever comes in this poor chaotic mind of this little sky here haha.
Congrats self to reach a hundred subscribers haha, (so marami din pala ikaw napikot) kidding haha, I don't know why there are still people here that getting entertain on my articles, I'm just a simple quite crazy one that expresses her thought in a way that people wouldn't misinterpret her.
Imagine 7 months of being like a kabute (mushroom) here hahaha lulubog lilitaw yarn, sometime we just need to be away talaga hahaha because I really believed on the famous proverb "absence makes the heart grow fonder" nga talaga haha look where am I right now well you can't look because you are not with me haha, oh wag na aangal mag tataglish tayo here cause I'm not fluent at english language haha
So ayun na nga congrats to me cause I'm super duper mega pretty human haha kidding, okay congrats na nga lang I have nothing to say kasi congratulations and thank you for a hundred subscribers and to all people who helps me and motivates me here in this platform.
The first time I join here dami ko talaga na spam na accounts kaya gawa ako ulit haha I don't no maybe because of my inactivity, but honestly I'm very inactive talaga here back then, I just been active here when the year started, dati kasi pawala wala pa ko talaga, and I'm so lazy to write articles and socializing but when I started and missed writing, this gave me the entertainment and serves as distractions, also I gotta to have a chance to find a lot of kind and friendly users here, and I really enjoy socializing with them hahaha
When I get used on having an attraction here, I really enjoyed my time here na, and also andaming funny at maloloko din talaga na users dito and talagang tawang tawa ko sa mga wrtings nila so very entertaining and interesting, that I found myself writing the same vibes of article like what they've sharing here.
Also a lots of uplifting and motivating article can be read here, it's really a heart warming to find comfort on some online stranger that became your friends here, their words and the way they showed sincerity on writing it and sharing their thoughts, advices and stories are really inspiring and very helpful to a numerous readers here.
You know? Of course not because me also doesn't know what I'm talking haahha kidding, anyways ayun nga salamat so much talaga, I wish we will build and create more bonds pa and magtagal pa ang platform na ito, also hope na we are all doing well here.
Read.Cash is a huge help for me not just financially becauae I will be lying to myself if I said that I bought some stuff and leisures using my earnings here haha so I'm really grateful that I'm being part of this platform it's a big help not just for my finances as a student, but it also helps me to be more expressive, to free my notions that circling my mind, I'm always grateful being part of this kind amazing community here.
Thank you so much, cheers for more journey here with you all guys.
Lead Image source:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnA5-tQjZ-I
Image source:
https://sayingimages.com/thank-you-memes/
https://www.birthdaywishes.expert/thank-you/thank-you-meme/
https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1259121-great-gatsby-reaction-leonardo-dicaprio-toast
https://amp.knowyourmeme.com/memes/serious-cat
That's it muna for tonight, I'm so sleepy but I'm really glad to everyone here, again my deep gratitude to everyone here, goodnight my dear skies.
Stay safe and keep yourself hydrated as always, enjoy the night everyone.
START 1 /30: A Person I'm glad to have in my Life
A simple gratitude within thirty days would not be enough, but here I am writing this random topics about thanking all the matters included in this piece of photograph I've just seen on internet, so this is a 30 days of gratitude, so expect me to update everyday hehez, I really don't have a topic to write so this is a huge help hehez so please enjoy.
To the person I'm glad to have in my life, actually it's not just one but there's a lot of them who's I'm grateful for to their existence beside me,
**To God,**
*My always been the first priority that I would live and die being grateful for him, he's the reason on everything, on why we exist, and on why we see this vast of world he created for us. He loves and accepts us despite on who we are or despite of us being sinners.*
*God is my first person to go to when I'm glad and also when I'm down, through ups and down he is with me. He is my own person that will always been my priority over everything and everyone.*
**To My Parents,**
*I will forever be grateful that they are my parents, my mom and dad will always be the one who's my constant one, my first teachers who guide me and make me feel the love and care that if you would asked me I doesn't deserve, they are my constant.*
*I'm grateful to have them because I know that some people aren't lucky to even meet or be with their own parents and so I should considered myself lucky because of them because I got to experienced and feel their support, love and care for me. I'm so honored and blessed to have them both, and if next life is true I would be willing to be their daughter over and over again.*
****To My Best friends****
*Those people who seen me at my worst and my best and still support and stay still beside me, I'm so very thankful to all of you, my best friends and my siblings from other parents, I'm thankful for their existence because if ever I never met them, I don't if I'm still that kid that's so full of hatred towards people, and never have the wants to socialize.*
*Smiling, laughing and witnessing our craziness became our habbits, we stick through thick and thin, actually that's our motto hahaha I have this account on twitter that my bestfriend and I are the only one who can view my rants because he knows that if I used that I don't want to talk about it haha.*
**To My Teachers,**
*Of course who wouldn't, they are the one who also helps me to be on the right path, to guide me what to choose, to taught me lessons that is not just applicable in school but in real life. I love my teacher who doesn't just teach about schools stuff but they gave and leave very impact full lesson about life that can't be learn in school. I'm grateful for them and so proud to call them my second parents.*
**To My Self,**
*I will be lying if I wouldn't include myself to feel grateful for, because if, oh come on everyone, I know it's not just me that when life so harsh and you just don't need anyone to share your pity full and worst saddest encounter in life, I know that I'm not the only one who shut people out, I built walls that only myself will be the only one to be with me,*
*I'm thankful to myself because even all the struggles and hardships I'm still here, fighting and willing to continue this expedition of mine. I thank myself for never giving up,for being strong despite everything. I thank myself for staying alive.*
**That's it, and also lastly I'm so grateful to everyone here, who always been so great and good, thank you so much to all of you, I'm so glad that I met and make friends to some people here.**
Lead Image source:
https://leadchangegroup.com/daily-gratitude/
Image source:
https://www.projectgreenribbon.org/thank-you-letter-to-myself/
https://youknowjacques.blog/2020/07/31/30-days-of-gratitude-day-9/amp/
https://ideas.hallmark.com/articles/thank-you-ideas/gratitude-for-educators-teacher-appreciation-ideas-that-mean-the-most/
https://www.joincake.com/blog/thank-you-for-being-a-friend/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/36169603244485972/
https://lookingtogod.org/2017/10/09/giving-thanks-always/amp/
`To all my lovely sponsors thank you always. You are all the best🙌🍻`
Moronic moments in high school
School sucks, yes it is, but it doesn't mean that I don't love going to school specially when that's the place where I met wondeful people and experience a lot of memorable and unforgettable moments of my life with the best unexpected people I ever met, High school life is the best years of my life. And school maybe boring but with those people we unexpectedly create bond with, boring turns to be an amazing moment in my life.
Let's just answer this one haha gosh I really enjoyed answering this kind of topics haha I missed highschool life.
****FAILING CLASS****
No, I would never let myself fail in class, although it's okay since it's part of schooling and I'm not a bitter person but yeah I dont want to fail in any of my class, I hate repeaters, I do accept failures but I don't want in my class gosh it's a lost of beauty kidding hahaha but yeah I haven't let myself fail in any of my class since I started my schooling until now, but if that happens I still accept it but it really frustrates me haha, I don't want to repeat another subject, it's a waste of time.
****EATING CHOCOLATES AND ICE-CREAM FOR LUNCH****
Yeah, I often does this in my elementary days, since I really don't eat properly that time and I'm a picky eater until now, school foods or in our canteen is not on my liking so yeah chocolates and ice cream will do.
****FALLING IN LOVE IN 5 SECONDS****
No, gosh hahaha never in my school life falling inlove in five seconds haha, I will first be confused about my feelings when I'm having crushes and it's so long before I realized I like that person haha
****GOING TO THE CLINIC SCHOOL TO CUT CLASSES****
Of course hahaha often times, I fake my stomachache, headache and sometimes I'm just so sleepy and bored to go attend in my class so I just go to the clinic and tell that I'm not feeling well and anytime I feel like I'm gonna puke hahaha that's my reasons and the nurse at the clinic became my friend and she let me sleep there haha actually she sometimes tolerate my craziness, she knows that I just don't want to go to my class but she let me just one time lang namn daw. Perks of being a social butterfly to staffs.
****HATING SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE YOUR FRIENDS HATE THEM****
Will always does this hahaa there's this unspoken rule in our circle like yeah we really don't tell it but once one of us hate or having a fight with someone, it's automatically that it became our enemy yes, enemy of one is enemy of all haha toxic but that's us haha.
****BRINGING ALCOHIC DRINKS****
Gosh I did this twice hahaha I put it in my tumbler pretending it's a coffee hahaa and I just bring some mouthwash and bought some candy for the smell after drinking that hahaha but I never let myself get drunk my bestfriend would kill me if I do haha he's so strict but yeah my stubbornness is overly high that he just let me but he always warned and keeping an eye on me haha.
****WEARING MY SCHOOL UNIFORM GOING TO THE MALL TO TRICK MY PARENTS****
Yeah, hahaha but it's just can be countable by my finger how many time I does this hahaha of course I choose days that I will cut class, those days that I know subject are just light and not to the point that I will missed a lot if I go cut class.
****WRITING YOUR EXAM ANSWERS ON PARTS OF YOUR BODY****
Of course, I've done this haha this is the challenging part but yeah I erased it when our teacher started to check each one of us I've write it in my arm because I'm wearing my hoodie hahaha but yeah because of the fear to caught up, I erase it as soon as possible and thanks God I did it because our teacher is so strict that day haha.
****FART LOUD IN CLASS AND BLAMING MY SEATMATE****
Gosh I never done this, this is so embarassing haha I maybe a bad type of student but this is gross I would never do this. But my best friend done this and yeah he put the blame on me and I hit him hard that day so we end up getting a standing ovation outside the room because our teacher nag us.
****OVERNIGHT FOR SCHOOL PROJECTS****
Always done this everytime we have group project but it's a wrong move everytime haha because the supposed to be overnight for doing our school project turns out to be a movie marathon, doing crazy stuffs not related to school work haha, that's why we really enjoyed when teacher told us that we have a school projects hahaha eyes can't lie specially when it is by group hahaha our friends automatically end up on an overnight and cram in the morning because we just really play dumb the whole night haha.
****That's it for today haha gosh I feel like I want to go back to my highschool days, college is less fun that being a highschooler where stress are not taken seriously. I wish we could go back to the highschool days haha,****
`Anyways thank you for reading by the way let me just flex my lovely sponsors. Thank you always. Also to my readers, subscribers and to all who support and motivates me here, thank you so much.`
Lead Image source:
https://www.fbstatusquotes.com/school-memories-quotes/
Image source:
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/stupid-things-i-did-in-high-school-instagram-story-template--379006124886917045/
**Enjoy your day everyone, stay hydrated and keep safe.**
SpongeBob to Squidward real quick
The title howls adulting, that bawl changes, and transitions that we merely realized we are in that phase, we are in the scary yet most exciting and adventurous stage on this expedition that life has to offer to us.
It's so fast that you just didn't realized it happened, back when we are such a little kiddo, we are highly looking up and looking forward to be like an adult, to be like our fathers, mothers, aunts, or whoever we are looking up to, but mostly to be an adult, to live our life that screams freedom, and no more nagging because you go home late, no more curfew from our parents, no more further explanation just to save yourself from their nonstop homily and lesson that we already memorized because we often heard it from them.
Writing this one after re watching and re reading again the speech from my most lovely prominent singer Taylor Swift, she just graduated and her speech imapacted me so may lesson that so applicable every day basis, she just said it all and I'm the reality and realization hits everyone so hard that you will just smile and just simply listen and take it to your heart and mind everything she said is so inspiring and really leaves a lesson to me, and the favorite lines on her speech is
***"SCARY NEWS IS: YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW,***
***COOL NEWS IS: YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW"***
This gives me the chills, the goosebumps on how we will face adulting, on how we will continue being on our own, like we really must enjoy this school lufe that we had before graduating, before entering to adulting, even we are still students the hardships, burdens of paper works and school exams, yet we never forget to enjoyed our life as a student, but after we graduate that's when the scary part because we are on our own now, we go seek for jobs, we go earn, we go build our own house, pay our own bills, give back to parents and take care of ourselves and also people who surrounds you, that's the scariest part of adulting because we stand on our own now yet at the same time that's great and cool one because we are on our own now, we can go wherever we want without limits, we can do what we want, we go work earn and buy stuffs we wanted. That's the cool one because we go to live an independent life.
So as for the title, of course I know that lot of us here knew SpongeBob because who doesn't know that cute yellow little lively sponge that gives a positive vibes and energy on every one he met, just like SpongeBob we are all once been like SpongeBob specially in our childhood days, we used to play and be goofy and just send good vibes on everyone, we used to joke around and juat go enjoy life and don't take it seriously things,
But just like the character SpongeBob we also know his moody and boring neighbor squidward tentacles, he's just living his life like a monotonous adult and just go with the flow, work and home, he barely talk to his friends and he barely socialize, so just like squidward I see that most of the people in adulting stage turns out to be like him, they just go work and get home, and prefer to enjoy alone time than hanging out because for them it's very tiring.
When adulting comes, SpongeBob became squidward real quick, people who once go happy go lucky became serious and just became like squidward, okay I will not generalized ha, of course there's still a lot of people who stil enjoying their lives even adulting hits them. Haha
**That's it for now, I'm so really engrossed by her speech, it's just give me some time to think and reflect on myself, just by existing today is one thing that I shoulf be proud of, gosh I'm really like a dog smiling like crazy to her master while watching her delivered every lines and how she can managed those numerous people to focus on her and be hooked up on what she is saying.**
Lead Image source:
https://wallpaperaccess.com/spongebob-and-squidward
Image source:
https://www.wallpapersun.com/15/squidward-wallpaper-26/
https://favim.com/image/7728058/
https://screenrant.com/spongebob-10-dark-fan-theories/amp/
https://mobile.twitter.com/swiftnyc
**Okay gonna watch it again haha I'm really so inlove to her lines maybe I would get some and include it in my writings here, thank you so much everyone, by the way enjoy your day ans stay hydrated and always keep safe.**
`To all my lovely sponsors, visitors, readers, subscribers and people who always there continuously supporting and motivating me her thank you so much to all of you.`
Pouring Nostalgia
Let's vibe to the cold of nostalgic vibes brought by the oldies songs I listened on these rainy days. Just pure remorse and sentimental feelings when you lay down on your matress while the rain is pouring down and the speakers on while listening to great old songs that puts you through nostalgia on how much these songs gives you a lingers through your ears and ease your mind and just vibe and relax because there's nothing greater than to go back and listen songs that you once get hooked up too and never get tired on listening to it all over again.
****Old songs I listened to while raining****
**FATHER AND SON** by Cat Stevens
*"It's not time to make a change*
*Just relax, take it easy*
*You're still young, that's your fault*
*There's so much you have to know"*
Been so sentimental by listening to these one, this has been one of my comfy song to listen to back to the old days and until now I'll never get tired on listening to these one, it's just give me a great feeling, been comforted by this song like how my parents comforts me.
**YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL** by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
*"I will never let you fall*
*I'll stand up with you forever*
*I'll be there for you through it all*
*Even if saving you sends me to heaven"*
Gosh listening to this feels like you're in a cloud nine with your own person who will always be there for you what ever happens, even till death that person will always stand by your side and never leave you, to have this constant human being is such a blessing and a gift that every body deserves but this is so hard to find specially these days.
**WONDERFUL TONIGHT** by Eric Clapton
*And then she asks me*
*"Do I look all right?"*
*And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight"*
This one is still my favorite until now, listening to this song give me such a chill of being in love, really I'm not a person who's too showy, I always love to hide my emotion behind a serious face specially when I felt the romantic feeling, and yes simple and honest compliments makes me soft and I really appreciate and forver remembere what that person says to me.
**RIGHT HERE WAITING** by Richard Marx
*"Wherever you go, whatever you do*
*I will be right here waiting for you*
*Whatever it takes or how my heart breaks*
*I will be right here waiting for you"*
This one is also the third song I learned to play on my guitar haha gosh after learning this ome, i can't stop myself to playing it on loof wherever I have time to, also this sends me the meaning of patience and waiting for the right one.
**ALL OR NOTHING** by O-Town
*"And then there's times you look at me*
*As though I'm all that you can see*
*Those times I don't believe it's right*
*I know it, know it"*
Okay fine, I sang this one to my you know haha special someone that is long gone now haha actually it's not that important anymore, he's long gone because I cut all of my connections to him, we haven't have commitments but yeah I'm not that dense that we both knew that we are just playing with each other but mine is not I really like him, just existence is enough for me but yeah life sucks so why bother to get serious and comitted haha anyway still this one is on my favorite back then.
**BEST IN ME** by Official Blue
*"'Cause you bring out the best in me*
*Like no-one else can do*
*That's why I'm by your side*
*And that's why I love you"*
No more explanation gosh to here this song and to have someone who will always bring the best version of yourself is one of the game changer everyone such a blessing in disguise, a lucky charm indeed.
**That's it for now, I'm on a calming surrounding today because I've been left alone the whole day in our house they have their own errands to go so might as well enjoy my time being left alone, after my online class I just lay down and vibe to the songs, also I clean the place before chilling out here and before writing these one, so maybe I should go take a nap and rest while listening right now haha.**
Lead Image source:
https://weheartit.com/articles/307444247-fav-music-part-1-old-songs
**Have a great day to all, enjoy and stay safe and always keep yourself hydrated my dears.**
**Edited: the nap turns out to a deep slumber hahahha gosh just gonna post it here guys I thought I posted this one a while aho before I took a nap but yeah I guess it's just in my head hahha anyway goodnight everyone.**
Fall out of love
*"How dare you to just neglect me after all what we've gone through, after satisfying yourself you just decline me"*
Hahahaha wait I'm laughing because of the intro gosh my mind haha.
Okay serious na ulit haha.
Ingesting foods that makes you feel the nostalgic vibes, not just because of the taste and smell of it, but the place, the time, the companion, and the set up where you first taste and like that food you have. A trip down to memory lane indeed they say.
A picky eater indeed, but can't help to admit that I've once got hooked up on devouring various foods that got me so engrossed on eating them. I don't know but yeah I missed eating some of the foods I'm so addicted in my childhood days but now I don't see it as appetizing anymore, I don't know why but I feel disliking those foods now that I grow up.
Just a glimpse of amazing sponsors of mine, thank you always. Oh thank you as well to @kingofreview for the renewal thanks buddy.
****A list of some food that got me so engrossed on eating them in my childhood days but now my system declining them haha:****
**Pudding**
This one became my favorite back then specially when its meryenda time, I always asked my mom to buy me some pudding and also partnered with a cold soda to satisfy my cravings, I don't get why I don't eat this food na, my system feels like rejecting this one haha or maybe I just don't like the taste of the pudding made by some new bakery nearby to our home,
**Mashed potatoes**
Wahh I'm so engroosed with these specially when it is home made back then haha gosh but now I feel like puking when I saw one and my mom nag me because she said that when I was a child "kulang na lang mag muka na kong mashed potato sa kaadikan ko" (You almost looked like a mashed potato because of your addiction on eating this one) hahaha okay people change mom.
**Dirty Ice cream**
I always eat this after school back then but now I'm so conscious on everything I put in my mouth, and really my father always nag me everytime I bought dirty ice cream so yeah I got used to it so now I don't feel like eating it anymore but still the supremacy of dirty Ice cream will always remembered by my young self.
**Ice pop**
I used to cry just for my mom to buy this for me haha cause they don't really want me to eat foods that high on sugar and ice pop is always been my wanting because I'm so envious to my chilhood playmates that they eating it but me is just looking so yeah I cried just for my mom to let me eat this one hahah but now gosh I hate sweets and this is not appetizing anymore in my eyes.
**Ice scramble**
This is the legit supremacy back then specially when summer but now I don't eat these kind of food since I'm not into these kind of foods haha but yeah I once got so addicted on this specially when I'm with my childhood friend who always makes me taste every food she got interested with.
**Nata de coco**
Gosh this one is my favorite specially when hanging out with my playmates a frozen nata de coco in a plastic is so engrossing back then haha.
**Doodoo**
I always want to be baby forever haha so yeah no more explanation hahaha it's so cool how they could think of this kind of food so I tried it haha but now it really not on my likings haha.
**Iced Gems**
This will never been absent in my lunch box haha elementary days this is always my mother gave me to eat if I got hungry and it's not time pa to eat lunch hahaha.
**Cigarette candies**
Hahah I'm such a naive child so I thought this is the one I've seen to my uncle that they let out smoke just by putting it in their mouth so I bought this one hahaha I thought it will also relase smoke because I was so amazed hahah but now I understand and really I hate the taste of this haha but it just so cool when you put it in your mouth back then haha.
**Lala**
Hahaha I rember this chocolate is the reason why I have a brawl with my childhood friend hahaha because he took the lala food in my hand so I go and punch his face hahaha but yeah we are still naive back then and I'm self centered when it comes to my stuff and especially to my foods.
**Hahaha the title says it all, gosh I'm so hooked up on remembering what I've always eaten in my childhood days hahaha, I missed my childhood but these foods are neglected by my system hahaha.**
Lead Image:
http://www.fubiz.net/en/2015/10/16/the-innocence-of-childhood/
Image source:
https://www.facebook.com/lalachocolate1975/
https://shopee.ph/Nata-de-Coco-in-a-pack-Classic-Pinoy-Snack-i.15260830.5462702148
https://palawan-news.com/groups-denounce-sale-of-some-candy-urge-authorities-to-keep-candy-cigarettes-of-the-market/
https://seka-joseph.com/product/24-pcs-doo-doo-candy-nation-s27604805-p7094752771.html
https://johorfoodie.com/iced-gems-biscuits-recipe/
https://www.pingdesserts.com/ice-scramble-iskrambol-recipe/
https://www.pngitem.com/middle/TiwTTRm_rindu-ice-pop-tube-plastic-hd-png-download/
https://hopepoh.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/my-very-own-dirty-ice-cream-d/amp/
https://www.thespruceeats.com/easy-microwave-mashed-potatoes-3059678
https://www.littlesweetbaker.com/eggnog-bread-pudding/
**That's it for now, I feel like sleeping because our class is later pa naman so I'm gonna go and take a nap for a mean while haha, enjoy your day everyone, have a nice Thursday. Stay hydrated and keep safe always.**
Green neighboring of oneself
Numerous people look for a positive compatibility of behavior that attracts them, most of the time they want those walking green flags that really makes them feel secure, safe and sound, when entering to relationship most of us are looking for healthy relationships so they choose those poses green flag that set the standard of a good quality of relationship.
So I was just scrolling and looking to my IG stories when this one caught my attention,
`So yeah let's just go talk about this one, but before that, let me just showed this wonderful peopl in these block thanks to them, I felt motivated to lucky to be here. Kindly check them.`
So let's G.
*****THEIR PRESENCE IS CALMING*****
-No one can beats the calming and soothing presence of someone, it's a great feeling to have someone that just their presence is enough to make you feel calm, I know that most of us have this go to person to calm ourselves after a tiring and frustrating days we had, this is one of I considered as a green falg to a person when his/her presence sending peaceful vibes.
***THEY RESPECT YOUR OPINION***
- I'm really fond of people who respect everyone's opinion even it is the opposite of their but still the respect is always present, that's also a green flag to everything not just in a relationship, when person show respects it's a huge turn on and really a great scenario to see.
*****THEY MAKE YOU LAUGH*****
-I will always chose those people who can make me laugh despite of having their own problem but still they have time to joke it out and also make me laugh, I have a lot of close one who makes me laugh all the time we spent together, I really can't help but to just laugh and really those presence of humorous people like them can lessen the problem and burden you felt inside.
*****THEY LISTEN WITHOUT JUDGEMENT*****
-Huge respect for those listeners, to have a person who can listen to your talks, rants, all day long without judging you is the best feeling ever, imagine even a nonsense talk they still listen and wheb sometimes I happen to look at their eyes, I can really see the admiration and happiness or emotions base on what I'm stating to them gosh. I'm so head over heels to people who can listen to my random talks and doesn't judge me.
*****THEY ARE SUPPORTIVE*****
-My circle and my family is always been like this. To have a supportive love ones is such a lucky and a cloudnine feeling they sending shiver to your spine, a happiness, I mean scratch that happiness it's more than that knowing someone really is there supporting you.
*****THEY RESPECT YOUR NEEDS*****
-No need to explain this , it's a huge yes to people who respect your needs, they give you the kind and affirmation you wanted and you deserve.
*****THEY HONOUR YOUR BOUNDARIES*****
-One of my most attractive green flag that I love, the person who honour my boundaries, when I just want to be alone he/she will understands it, and just let me but still doesn't neglect my presence and care for me even I push them away. People like these should be kept in your lifetime.
*****THEY MAKE AN EFFORT*****
-Well no need to explain, green flag is for those people who give so much effort to show that you are important to them, they care and love you just by showing and doing a little or big effort. To all the people I know that makes an effort just to reach out for me, I'm always feel so lucky ang grateful to have them in my life.
*****THEY MAKE YOU FEEL VALUED*****
- That's it no more explanation, when they make you feel valued then keep them forever, they deserved it and you deserved them.
**Why does some people prefer to love green flags than the red one, I mean red is such an attractive one, let me be honest I'm fond of red flags because we always look for it, looking for some thrill and yes green flags are great but imagine being in an thrilling one because of finding a walking red flag haha but yeah that's just my perspective about this, and I'm into red talaga sorry hahaha. Respect na lang po color blind lang charizz.**
Lead Image source:
https://www.happypartnersproject.com/blogs/rules-of-engagement/red-flag-green-flag-here-are-all-the-flags-to-watch-for
Image source:
https://www.happypartnersproject.com/blogs/rules-of-engagement/red-flag-green-flag-here-are-all-the-flags-to-watch-for
https://www.clearvoice.com/blog/great-client-relationship/amp/
**That it for now, I'm writing this one while listening to I found her by faime, youtube recommendations really makes me want to listen to some under-rated songs.**
**Thank you for reading guys, hope you all enjoy your day, happy Wednesday to all, have a great morning, stay hydrated and keep safe.**
Tue-self check
Crazy isn't it to find oneself staring at nowhere, feels like the void of your thoughts starting to envelope your poor resting soul, that even in a quite surrounding feels like suffocating, the fact that you find nothing but an empty inner self over-scrutinizing to something you aren't supposed to think of. Your worries started to build up and make you drown on speculating notion.
Okay for today let's just have time to talk to ourselves, have our me time, forget those notions of overthinking that kills our mood, let's just escape and have time to check ourselves for the mean time, actually we really need this me time from time to time not just when we could think it's the best time for it but we should always give time to be checking ourself out, ask question, talk to oneself and take care of all aspect may could be mentally, physically, emotionally, etc...
Scratched those thoughts we had for once, let's just remain calm and devoted this time for yourselves, let's give ourself a self indulgence, just for this mean time please dedicate it to youself because after all your tiring stuffs you experienced these last few days, ypu deserve a break, a relax, a me time, and a time to not get interrupted by anything or anyone, just you and yourself for these time.
Okay self care, nevermund the intro you can comfort yourself on your own haha we have different coping mechanism for me time haha that's just for intro okay I'm just crazy.
`Let me just flexed my lovely sponsors, kindly check them, they are great people here and kind souls.`
Okay let's go back to main topic, I'm so madaldal nanamn haha
****WHAT'S YOUR SCORE?****
**Stuffs I've done:**
****Read****
Gosh I'm back to being so hooked up on reading stories in wattpad, I've been like reading for hours that I don't mind eating okay it's not a self care hahah it's not healthy to be addicted but yeah I supposed I should manage my time span on reading, I really didn't notice the time, when I'm getting too focused on reading.
****Compliment yourself****
This is my daily routine haha from the morning I wake up to the night before I sleep. I always have time looking at the mirror and compliment myself like really I'm so head over head to myself haha. It also really helps me to boost my confidence and also it's good to compiment and motivate your own, duh I'm such a gorgeous human being on earth and it will be a waste if I don't have self confidence haha okay this is me being narcissistic again just for myself okay. I'm really a humble gorgeous person hahhaa okay dont mind me.
****Take a nap****
Already done as always haha nap turns out to be a deep slumber haha.
****Do absolutely nothing****
Okay no need to brag about my lazy self, even in a normal days when laziness envade my self that's when I loose the will to exist for today haha.
****Work out****
Oh I just do some stretching and also running thirty minutes to one hour on treadmill.
****Take a walk****
Always and never forget this cluld be a morning or night walk is always been on my priority.
****Clean****
Duh in my overly gorgeous human existence I will stay hygienic and clean until death hahha even I'm in the midst of sickness still I kept myself clean and also my surroundings.
****Technology detox****
Oh yehs I do this every day even 1-3 hours of not having screen time or using any gadgets of mine.
****Cook for yourself****
Wah I'm hooked up on learning new recipes gosh wifey material hahha kidding I just keep on trying to learn for my future lurposes duh I don't want to just ordered fast foods in the future.
****Pray****
Will never forget this, to talk to God always even on my silent prayers. The top most priority I will never ever forget.
****Smile****
Of course always keeping strong and yeah smiling really can help you to be more attractive.
****Talk to a friend****
Yeah as always I call my bestfriend just to tell our whereabouts specially when there's some hot tea hahaha you know chismis is life haha.
That's it for today, let's just give time for ourselves and talk, even just for a few minutes, spend time to give ourselves a self check, are we still fine? Let's normalized prioritize and give time to have me time.
Okay later on I will have online class time hahha me time is not on my forte for this week maybe it will be right now while I'm writing this, I'm sipping with my coffee sitting near our window haha chilling because it's still early and my class sched is afternoon so I have time to chill for this morning.
Lead Image source:
https://motherhoodtherealdeal.com/parenthood/me-time-for-mums/
Image source:
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwix_u-F-uL3AhWQAd4KHef-BN4Qjhx6BAgBEAI&url=https%3A%2F%2Fm.facebook.com%2Fchoicesforyouth%2Fposts%2Fheres-some-ideas-to-help-you-up-your-self-care-game-whats-your-score-for-this-we%2F2649298728482990%2F&psig=AOvVaw3o1g9rewr_qTNszVfp5tLX&ust=1652753566212423
**Hope you spend your day well everybody, enjoy and have a happy tuesday. Don't mind the title of this one hahaha stay hydrated my dears.**
Begun to be crystal clear
This voyage seems a little bit messy, sometimes it could be disheveled and chaotic yet somehow it is reasonable and adequate, life starts when you started to realized those stuffs that you found confusing when you we're such a naive back then, but now, bit by bit you started to realized and understands it, your why's started to be answered ans you go on with your expedition, those unclear matter started to be clear and concise.
This is just some random realization, when I'm scrolling through my tiktok application, this video found my interest and begun to think of something to write about this,
Before I begin, let me just appreciate this beautiful and amazing people of mine, forever be grateful to them. 🤗
Okay so here we go,
When I was a kid...
****I WONDER WHY ADULTS DON'T PLAY GAMES ANYMORE****
This is the first one I realized when I was growing up, because back when i was young, I'm confused why my parents doesn't play games. I kept on wanting my father go jointo my games but he always resist it, now I know becauae seeing him so tired after going to work, and my mom tired of the whole day doing daily basis and a house wife jobes to maintain our house clean and also taking care of us, nlw I understand that being an adult put so much responsibility that you will just choose to get rest and have no time to play games anymore like what you are doing on your childhood days.
****I USED TO WONDER WHY THEY (ADULTS) BECOMES SO QUIET****
I'm really confused and sometimes taught that my parents doesn't want to talk to me when I was a child but now I'm a grown up I realized that it's so tiring to talk and socialize to people specially when you came home from work or you are busy working for yourself or for your family, and being an adult you are you loose interest on talks that doesn't helps you, you became quiet because it gives you peace and a rest for your tired soul.
****I WONDER WHY MY MOM ONLY HAD A FEW FRIENDS, LIKE WHERE DID ALL OF HER HIGHSCHOOL FRIENDS GO?****
Now I finally understand that people come and go just like what I alwas said, growing up is about gaining and loosing, when you see yourself loosing and keeling your circle small, that's when growth enters, you get busy on your own lives, not everybody will stay, of course they will but not literally stay just like before, all your friends you have righ not will go separate their ways to achieve their goals, you will all be walking on different paths for your own future. When I was a child I always wondered why my mom doesn't have a lot of friends like I have right now but yeah I understand it, few but loyal and true are better than a lot, quality over quantity said by my mom not everyone is for keep, sometimes growing up is letting some people go.
****I USED TO WONDER WHY A LOT OF ADULTS ARE SAD AND DEPRESS****
I was taken a back by this one, because this is really legit, when we are young and naive and don't care about our surroundings, like we just living a happy go lucky and don't minding problems because we are just a child, but now growing up is hard, sad and depressing at the same time enjoying but yeah the more we getting on adulting the more responsibility is being given to us and it adds more fuel to the fjre, growing up is hard but we don't need to deal with our depressions and anxiety alone, pray to God talk to him. And also seek for help when you really need it. Remember that you are not alone in this harsh hourney of life.
****I USED TO WONDER WHY THEY (ADULTS) SMOKE, DRINK, CHEAT, ETC...****
This really hits me gosh, drinking and smoking is one of my habit back in highschool because of the influences of some old friends of mine, I just stop it since I knew it's not good for the health and also I really don't enjoyed it, but when I entered adulting, it all comes back but I'm trying to work on smoking gosh, my parents will kill me if they've see me smoking but yeah I can't help somtimes because it really helps on my stress and realx my mind but of course the consequences of it, it feels like risking my own health, so I still managed to control it and not get hooked up on this.
***I have a lot of questions that I wanted to be answered when I was just a naive child but now that I'm entering this adulting stage they called it all becomes clear and bit by bit I started to understand the reason behind of all those stuffs, you see aldulting is hard but it really gives the best and also the worst in life we just need to dealt with it, and it's up to us how do we manage to live with all of these.***
Lead Image Source:
https://www.pinterest.com/christyhell7/all-alone/
Image source:
https://www.tumgir.com/tag/alcohol%20aesthetic
https://id.pinterest.com/mlezatos/sad-girl-aesthetic/
https://everydaypower.com/best-friend-quotes/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/774124927267401/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/531002612317647183/
****That's it for today, gosh I'm tired even I just done nothing because of my online class started , it's just the first day and I just want to go to a vacation again gosh haha, anyways hope you all enjoy your day guys, thank you, stay hydrated and keep safe.****
Allocate time for my Soulmate
I couldn't help but to be grateful to God because how lucky I am that He let me adhere one person who really serves as sunshines on my storms, umbrella to my rains, jacket when it's cold, shield when I'm at my weak point, light to my darkest days, shoulder to lean on when no one's wants to.
I'm in a cloud nine while writing this one, it's just feels so good to be with your favorite person, so he's sleeping while I'm writing this one this morning gosh we really drown ourselves on liqours with other friends last night, and it's very lit, and memorable, since semestral break is almost end and we go to hell again kidding hahaha,
Back to the topic, I'm reading some qoutes about friends and really, I can prove ut all that it's a legit feeling having a best friend that will be forever be your go to person and your favorite one is the best feeling more than having a lover kidding haha I don't have one pa so friends over lovers is in my mind.
Anyways let's proceed, oh before I forgot, let me just flex this amazing author of mine, thank you so much to all of you, you're all the best🙌
*****“That’s when I realized what a true friend was. Someone who would always love you, the imperfect you, the confused you, the wrong you, because that is what people are supposed to do.” — R. J. L.*****
This is true, one of the best feeling that we can feel is to feel accepted for whom we are by the person we cherish the most, I can say that my circle have possesses this kind of behavior, we treated each others like family, accepted each others up and downs, flaws and uncertainties, we don't mind seeing each others flaws, we accept each other's as whole, and as for this qoute, my bestfriend js the one that accepts me, he's the one who knows my red signs, my broken pieces yet still stay with me, and always open arms for me.
*****“The friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away.” — Barbara Kingsolver*****
This hits me so hard that there's a lot of people I met and considered as my friend, I'm always like that but I observed people whom I befriended myself with, when I've done something and having difficulty I saw people staying away, and the one that stays is the only people whom I keep and treasure for this lifetime, even they just there saying nonsense stuffs or just their existence is enough to comfort me, and to communicate that I'm not alone.
*****“That’s how it goes, kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies, and partners in crime you love so much when you’re young, as the years go by, you just lose touch. You will be shocked when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.” – Ted Mosby,*****
Will always keep this in mind, those people we have right now, may could be your buddies, best friends, squads, etc... we have no assurance that they will stay always in our sides, life is bound to separate us because we have different purposes and different goals to achieve and parting off is part of it, but it's on us if we still keep this people, we need to do everything because it's not just you are together then you will always be in that situation but in reality it's not, people ckme and go and to those who stays then it's the one we should keep, and for your information guys, staying is not just your presence beside that erson but staying like even after a long time no communication but when you to bond and meet again, the bond, the vibes, the level of energy is still the same as before those people are the one we should keep.
Just random thoughts : there's a huge difference when itcomes to a girl best friend than to a boy for me haha, I have to bestfriend kasi.
I find some quotes amusing anyways I just wrote this one because I really was amazed how my bestfriend reject those classmates and friends of his for me, I mean this two of his friends that I met during his birthday celebration last night and they just I don't know I just don't care about the errands of people around me all I care is my bestfriend since it's his special day also to our circles because last nigt serves as the bonding of us squad so we met his friends in his school and yeah I socialized a little but my bestfriend talk to his classmates and also he said that don't get near them *"type ka nila babae"* he said I just shrugged it off since I don't care but still he kept insisting to just sit beside him haha so I follow, I smile because he's been always like this, he was strict when it comes to people who has crushes and try to have their moves for me, he act like a big brother yet sometimes a father and lectured me haha gosh my best friend is for keep for sure and that's final.
**Oh I just post this one it's been 3 or maybe 4 days since we have no stable internet connection, it will work then will just gone gosh it's so frustrating, I've been missing in action here and so sorry for that I'll make bawi na lang pag medyo oks na ang internet.**
**Lead Image source:**
https://iyerharidaily.com/2021/07/09/ephemeral-epiphany/amp/
****Qoutes source:****
https://parade.com/947443/parade/best-friend-quotes/amp/
**By the way guys that's it, take care always, stay safe and keep yourself hyrdated enjoy. Gosh this monday is coming and also school is. This will be the last day of our semestral break.**
Enchantress by choice
Save by this riveting piece of prompt, got me so engrossed on scrutinizing the inquiries of options and the response to its, a day to adress my choices to this interesting options about beauty of a one kind.
So gratified to eonnie @Eirolfeam2 for saving myself some topic to write today, I'm really in the midst of difficulties on thinking some topic to write about these past few days, so here I am. By the way I really enjoy answering this one thank you madam, if you wanted to read about her answer kindly check this link:https://read.cash/@Eirolfeam2/would-you-rather-beauty-edition-15aab664
So shall we? Oh well nevermind, I will still continue writing this one even you don't answer me haha,
`Oh wait let me just flex these amazing people of mine, let's give a hand to my amazings sponsors, thank you so much to all of you.`
Okay let's G.
****HAVE CLEAR SKIN FOR LIFE, OR WIN 5 MILLION DOLLARS BUT HAVE TO DEAL WITH BREAKOUTS FOREVER?****
-this is just an easy one, of course I would rather be having a 5 million dollars, and if I have to deal with breakouts well I have money to get a new face hahah kidding but yeah technology is at it finest today, so we just need to be practical, oh come on we are living in a modern generation, breakouts, scars, etc... is just one click of a technology then boom, if you have money you can be as beautiful as those barbie dolls hahaha. Also if I'm ugly I want to cry in a high class mansion with background music and a bill to wipe up my tears hahha.
****HAVE A GOOD HAIR DAY EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE , OR HAVE A PERFECT BROWS FOR ALL OF ETERNITY?****
-Well I would choose to have a good hair every single day for the rest of my life, because my brows are beautiful enough and perfection doesn't exist haha kidding, I'm really crazy when it comes to hair than to my brows, I really don't mind my brows gosh I'm a girl but I don't do those brows thingy or what they called it "pagkikilay" I really hate messing up with my brows.
****NEVER HAVE TO WASH YOUR FACE AGAIN (AND MIRACULOUSLY HAVE CLEAR SKIN), OR NEVER HAVE TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH AGAIN (BUT MAGICALLY HAVE ZERO CAVITIES AND FRESH BREATH)?****
-I go to never have to wash my face again and miraculously have clear skin, because I'm really not fond on washing my face haha also skin care routine is not my forte haha I'm too lazy for that one, and also I feel like there's something missing when I don't brush my teeth haha it's been part of my routine and missing it can make me feel uncomfy, it's just I does it three times a day haha.
****MAGICALLY NEVER HAVE TO SHAVE AGAIN. OR NEVER GET A GRAY HAIR?****
-I'd choose never get a gray hair, it's irritate me and it so itchy and I hate it haha even though it can be colored as black or what ever we want still it's itchy and I find it very uncomfy for me.
****TAKE A LUKEWARM BATH EVERYDAY, OR A FREEZING COLD SHOWER ON THE REG?****
—Take a lukewarm bath everyday is the one I preferred, it's very soothing and really can out me. In a deep slumber after having it, also I don't want to go on a freezing shower, my body can't handle the coldness of it and it makes me sick, so I'd stick to where I found my relaxation haha.
****HAVE AN ENDLESSS SUPPLY OF MASCARA, OR A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF SHAMPOO?****
-If my old self is the one who will answer this, she would probably choose to have an endless supply of mascara, yes back then I'm so obsessed on putting mascara it just so hippy and really I'm so head over hills to my favorite singer Avril Lavigne haha, but now if you would ask me then I choose the lifetime supply of shampoo haha gosh we need to be practical, the prices of shampoo is not a joke ha haha.
****BE STUCK WITH ONE COLOR OF YOUR NAILS FOREVER, OR HAVE TO PAINT YOUR NAILS A DIFFERENT SHADE EVERYDAY?****
-I would be rather stuck with one color of nails because having paint on your nails every single day is not good for your nails. It's not healthy I've read some article about it haha, and I prefered to stay on one color and make it as my signature color for my nails haha.
**Gosh I really enjoy answering this one thank you again eonnie, hehez**
Lead Image source:
https://accidentlawyersingapore.org/accident-lawyer-singapore/negligent-beauty-aesthetic-treatments/
Image source:
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/542965298825656343/
https://br.pinterest.com/pin/670966044476317785/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/40391727887028236/
https://www.beautyhub.ph/hair/hair-care/white-hair-causes/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/767019380286419572/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/834925218419623954/
https://in.pinterest.com/pin/i-cry-money-bith-uploaded-by-vogue-on-we-heart-it--850124867203844863/
**That's it for today, there's a lot of choice we would rather have but always remember that we should stay on what suit to us, it's your body, your life, your choice, what ever you choose its for you, and remember that you will always be beautiful.**
**Stay hydrated everyone and keep safe to all.**
Desperately running away
Spotting my desertion, finding escape from reality, from home, from them, dreadfully in need of some distraction for a while because this hysteria cause by this fluctuating acrimony and anger of mine started to envelope my whole existence, and words that shouldn't be heard is spitted out, and the guilt is hovering inside me but it never match the hatred I'm feeling in.
Is it weird to do stuffs I did when I'm coping up with my anger towards everyone,
I laugh and shake my head while thinking of what I did today because I'm so irritated and really hurt by my dear ones and my respect for them still doesn't lessen everytime they did that to me, of course I wont tell here why, I'm better on keeping it all for myself what happened, just I'm not in the mood to talk about it and just wanted to escape for a while,
So back to the topic haha, I did a lot of crazy stuff just to cope up and distract myself the whole day,
Listening to the various album of blackpink I have. Gosh my sadness just flew away like bubbles when I started to vibe at their songs specially when the kick it title track play on the speaker, it just makes me go vibe and enjoy the song and forget what I'm feeling right now,
When I already pall and bored at listening, I go watch their recorded concerts at youtube gosh, I can find my comfort really to them, also I don't want to talk to anyone and they are just really my comfort person today. I keep myself busy not entertaining anyone, I choose to isolate myself.
I just go run at treadmill for hours and tiring myself, cause I badly just want to get tired and fell asleep but I can't, so I run for hours, I look like a crazy running through a treadmill with mind overthinking but I kept trying on focusing on running to erase those thoughts of mine.
After tiring myself out, I took a cold shower and go to read some saved stories at my phone, until I fell asleep and I just woke up a while ago and decided to write this one,
The guilt is overcoming me right now, it supposed to be a special day for my mom, but it happened that we had a misunderstanding and yeah I'm at guilt side for ruining her day, I'm the worst daughter they had, a middle child indeed, a black sheep, I just say sorry and greet her at the end of the day, I don't know if we're okay now, gosh I made her upset, I messaged my mom and apologized for something I said to her that hurt her feelings, I know I'm a huge disappointment to this family but I still respect and love them, also I'm trying to be a good one but it will never be easy for me, especially that I'm no longer living at the same roof with my parents.
Anyways that's it for today, I'm not in the mood to think of some topic, so I just wrote down these feelings I have today. Hope you all enjoy your day specially to all mommies out there, Happy mother's day to all of you.
Lead Image source:
https://www.everypixel.com/image-7833338560503787335
Just want you all to remember that misunderstandings between our love ones exist and it's normal but the important is we need to maintain the respect and give time to talk about it, to fixed it, because relationships and live are the one who needs to be on top, we don't pet some misunderstanding ruined a great relationship.
Edited:
This one supposed to be posted on mother's day but I forgot it that it was in the drafts gosh, glad that we are okay now, it's just a bit of misunderstandings between me and my parents but yeah the important is we deal with it and we're fine now.
D-Day: Ink for the future
Wow the title screams like comeback of a kpop idol haha, okay kidding aside, voting is already happening, and it feels like yesterday I'm rooting for a person even I'm not on the age to vote, but now this is really happening, I'm a voters now,
Sweats running through the forehead, the temperature as it's finest, the hot surroundings, the croded place, a lot of faces, a various supporters, citizen of this country are assembled, unite as one on this day, in every hands of Filipinos the future of this country, voting of elections starts,
Blogging time!!!
This is my first time to vote for this election, I've never thought that this is so tiring and really frustrating or it's just in our place is not properly managed, the stuffs that should be assisting people to their own precincts and guide them to line up properly so that it will not bloodsweats here, it's so hot and there's a lot of people Roaming because they have difficulty on finding their precincts, also because the school grounds are open and a lit of children also playing gosh, this is not what I'm thinking about voting, I thoight the process will be smooth and not this crazy surroundings,
But all in all it's really worth it, I hope we choose the right one for our country, this country needs strong leader who will guide us for positive changes and a better growth pf the country we are living in.
I woke up late so I went to the voting placenot so early that I automatically regret waking up late when I entered the place a huge wave of people surprises me, and it's irritate me automatically, I know it's part of it but I really don't want to be in this crowded place but for the future of our beloved country, I offer myself haha ay wao hahaha kidding, so agaim after finding my cluster,
I go find the building, gosh how come I forgot the facilities and whereabouts of this school, because this is where I finished my junior high school years hahhaha, but its already what maybe 3 - 4 years of not visiting this loving alma matter of mine haha,
So when I saw the precincts line gosh it's so long and just by the view of it, I automatically feel exhausted haha, I'm really an impatient one when it comes to this kind of stuffs, I hate waiting, waiting for me is tiresome and really frustrating one, so yeah I fall in line because I had no choice but to go with it, I wait for about almost 3 hours in the line gosh we are like in maze game hahha kidding, so yeah after all the tiresome lining up my legs are really tired of standing hahaha,
Now, finally after the long waits, I've done voting hahaha gosh oh my finger are so cute isn't it oh well hahaha hope you all choose whom you think the best to lead this country we have, hehez good luck to all of us.
I hope it will goes so well and we all Filipino citizens will cooperate and gave their votes to the person who will be deserving to be in the position to lead for one country.
Lead image source:
https://www.thenortherner.com/news/2020/09/21/students-professor-discuss-upcoming-election-voter-registration https://www.thenortherner.com/news/2020/09/21/students-professor-discuss-upcoming-election-voter-registration/
Image source :
All image are mine
**That's it for today, gosh it's very hot but still I'm wearing my hoodie hahha cause I don't want to go outside after I go home from voting, took a cold shower and rest, I just stay here at indoors because the AC is on haha and going outside is just a waste of time and can just makes me irritated because of the heat that feels like we are being in a huge oven haha,**
**Anyways now that it's hot, much more stay to be hydrated and keep yourself always safe.**
**Vote wisely everyone, the future is on us, sana orl us hahaha kidding.**
What will you do?
*Time sprint so swiftly, as you didn't cognizance your surroundings started to adopt on changes, but you spot yourself remains at the very same point where you felt like the world leaves you neutral, everyone left you with nothing but the same pain at the past, and here you are still leaving at your past.*
*You know the feeling when it feels like you really just living the same monotonous life you had? Like you really believed that you are moving forward but in the reality you just stay at the same spot, same stuff, and you just can't denied the fact that you are just existing for this monotonous life you had, the daily basis of living becames your routine,*
*To be honest, I once had the life where I thought it's enough for me, I had a complete family, a trusted and loyal circle of friends, a great standing at school, a nice life, and also a person whom so dearly I love, and he's my boyfriend, but just one day all of this happiness of mine started to crambling down,*
*My parents divorced, my friends started to go on separate ways, and I broke up with my man who's the only reason why I'm still living after all that happens,*
*When my parents got divorced I kept telling myself, I'm fine, okay don't you worry so much they can handled it, they just choose where they see themselves fine, because they just fell out of love and it's normal to people to feel like that, so I keep on consoling myself that it's fine,*
*When my friends separated their ways, some live in another country because they have bigger opportunities waiting for them there, and also some really just have their own route to go for their dreams, although sometimes I missed them but I understand that we will not be staying together as we are in the past because we are now growing up and we need to be a responsible adult so it's fine for me,*
*My boy friend is the only one who stays with me that time, even he keeps on studying because his dream is to be a medical professional which I supported him, I'm still in my 2nd year in college and he's in his graduating, even it's hard to communicate and spend time with each other we still managed our relationship, he's making time for me and it is the same I gave for him,*
*We continue it so swiftly but just one day, where I don't have a stuff to do, I visited him at his condo unit to surprised him, but to my surprise when I open the door of his condo, yes I have a spare key which he gives to me in our first monthsary, to my surprised I see nothing but an empty room, it just there's nothing left here only a sofa and the tv, his clothes and his stuffs are all gone, I contacted him but he can't be reached, I started to panic and all my traumas started to eating me up because the thought of him leaving me is so much to handle,*
*It's been months since that day happened and I didn't see even the shadow of him, and it really used me up, and emptied me, the only person that stays with me just leave me hanging without any reason and without any goodbyes,*
*But life has it's own ways to twisted it and for me to feel the same way again, when I'm finally accepting that people really just left me hanging then I just keep on building walls and restraining any of them to avoid the pain, and traumas,*
*When the wound from the past feels like been open again, the scars became fresh, the pain started to bloom again, you seeing your oldself showing up in the midst of your growth it stop now that you see the same reason why you still keep on moving forward, why you still keeping yourself strong despite of what happened, and now that you see the person again, it's like all wall you built started to crambled up, you see yourself breaking into pieces again, you don't know what to feel because this person that gaves you so much pain is the same person who gave you so much reason to live and believed in love.*
*He just came in out of the blue, but it pains me that he doesn't remember me, he really just past me by, and the urge to slap him at the same time hugged him because I really missed him, but when I'm about to approach him, a kid running to him calling him daddy, and just by that the pain that I already felt became a lot times painful, so he really make his own family without me, I was about to walk away when someone called me,*
***"Avery"*** and that's when I open my eyes and see blinding white lights and seeing the person I love crying at my side holding my hand,
Why the hell I'm in a hospital bed? And gosh I can't move my body, and then it all flash backs when my parents got divorced I tried to kill myself by overdosing but then end up here and he said that I'm in a comma for months now...
The end
****Hahaha a nonsense fiction fabricated by my playful mind haha because I don't really had something to write about gosh, I'm so excited the whole day today because I'm meet my cousin from province they visited us today ahhkk, I missed them so much, by the way hope you enjoy your day everyone, stay safe and keep yourself hyrated.****
Lead Image:
https://videohive.net/item/recovering-little-child-lying-in-the-hospital-bed-sleeping-mother-holds-her-hand-comforting/22244141
`Before I end this let me just flex my sponsors, kindly check their works they are great. Thank you. Good night😊`
To my 911
***"I'm only one call away"*** that's what she always makes me want to percieve, the ambiance of her presence pacify my ranging soul of mine, she always assured that she's there whatever I'm signing myself in, if there's a trouble she's there willing to save me but most of the times we are really just together making troubles haha.
She's my go to person when I need a shoulder to lean on, a human diary to tell my occurrences of my daily basis, the one I can tell my soul to, my soul mate, my love, my comfy person, my twin sister from other parents, my best friend, my 911,
*To my 911,*
*Of course people will say we're crazy if we call each other 911, gosh it cringed to know if you could read this, of course I won't let you read this one, just by saying you're the best best friend ever makes me regret after a seconds because you won't let me be in peace after hearing that, you are so full of yoyrself as always haha and that's one of the reason why I love you so much, cringed isn't it? Saying our I love yous is such an under-rated for us haha,*
*They said the infamous lines "no man is an island" best explains this life of us, why we are surrounded by people who shaped us, accompany us, and helps to our growth.*
*But hey, listen, I don't usually tell you those three words, but I want you to know that i love you so much to the point that I can see the future with you, as what you said we don't need partners like husband or what, we can be happy and living the best in life with each other, I know you can't read this but I'm really glad that I've met you, haha the stranger that makes me upset and makes my blokd boil when we are just a 3rd graders hahha gosh how come that we end up being best friends, we always had each other's back for years now gosh how can I get rid of you if you can read my whole being haha kidding,*
*Gosh I'm writing this one because I missed you, I know you are so long gone now, and I really missed everything about you, I missed our late night conversations, I missed your being like a strict parents to me, your nagging and never ending philosophy in life when I've done something, but you still sided me in public vut correct me in private, that's one behavior ypu always shows to me, your sweet caring attitude, you said that when I'm with you, you can be everything I need,*
*I remember the last time you go out with your own circles and you leaved them immediately because I call you to go with me at somewhere, I'm the most reckless friend you have back then isn't it? But thank you for accepting my flaws, thank you for accepting me as a whole even with my broken pieces, you still makes me feel complete,*
*I do believe that soul mates aren't just about need to be romantically but when I met you I believed I already met my soulmate, you are not my significant other but for me you are more than that, I'm so sorry I can't save you when you needed me, I don't know that behind those smiles of yours hide a deep pain that you masked up every time we are together, those sufferings and anxiety leads you to end your own life,*
*I'm so angry that time because why you are so selfish, you owned your problem, you said we will be transparent to each other, but you still keep it all in yourself, how come I didn't noticed your silent cries, maybe I'm so hooked up to the idea of us being happy to the point that I believe that we are okay just being like that, but what fo I do now, I still missed you every second of my everyday, whom I gonna call when I can't sleep, you are my trusted one and forever be ny constant.*
*You know that I don't love sunsets as I reasoned out that it's just the end of the day back then, but when you came, one day we just watch the sun setting down and that's when I realized I love the sunsets when I'm with you, that's the first time I started to love it, now how can I love them again knowing that to my next sunsets you are mo longer here,*
*I almost took my own life after you died but just one night I dreamed of you, I don't quite remember what you said but to be honest you saved me, you saved me from taking my own life just to follow you, you let me live for you, now I'm still here, and I missed you so much,*
*You are one of my great loss, my 911 doesn't answer anymore but I know she's still there guiding me, she's in the best place now, and I wanted to tell you my bestie, I love you forever and always. Wait for me okay? Don't you dare replace mo or else hahha kidding.*
**FICTION OKAY, FICTION, FICTION, FICTION!!!**
This is just made up of my crazy mind.
That's it for today, I'm still exhausted from taking care of my youngest baby cousin, gosh she's so cute, I hope she doesn't need to grew up and just stay like that as cute little baby, aww my lil pumpkin is so cute that I wanted to squeeze her cheeks all day long. Haha
Lead Image source:
https://weheartit.com/articles/327551419-handwritten-love-letters
By the way, feel free to share who's your 911, your person to call when everything gets overwhelming, hehez anyway that's it, please enjoy your day and take care always, and keep yourself hyrdated.
`To all my lovely sponsors and people who's continously motivating and supporting me here thank you so much to all of you my dears.`
Assurance with a little bit conyo
The great compelling force that can make us perceive pain at the same time can conceal us in a cloud nine, a safe haven and an overwhelming feeling, is defines as the term love. Love is such an enthralling and captivating feeling we gave to people that's so dear to us.
Love is not about the attraction between men and women, yes as the church says men are bound to be with women, and vice versa, but as of todays modernity and the culture and belief is starting to crampled and people bit by bit embraced this changes, there's a lot of gender that exist not just straight men and women, and LGBTQ's... existed,
I really love people who is in this community and continuously fighting for their rights and really because of them I started to value every rights and also they open my eyes to see that every human is capable to give and also recieved love disregarding the gender. They taught me that love is not just for two different genders and they makes me believed that love has many various shades and to know where you placed to be is such a great feeling.
Oh by the way to all the member of this community out there, I love you all and I will stand you,
O diba ang long na agad ng intro ko haha wag ko na kaya i continue to, haha gosh I'm so tamad nanaman pero sige na nga so let's go to the topic,
`Ay wait let me just flex muna my lovely sponsors here, they are so great talaga so much better if you checked their works, thank you.`
So there's this topic na I want to make chika to everyone here, I want to makes spill the tsaa for today's writing, I was listening kasi on my spotify app and it is on shuffle so I wouldn't mind discovering some new kanta, then this one new song of Ben and Ben got me so interesado, so I thought why not I just make sulat about this one,
I know some of you dito is na hear na yung new released song nila entitled ***"Paninindigan kita"***,
I fell inlove and hooked up the first time I make rinig to this song gosh, imagine the assurance that someone can give to you, that's one of the best feeling ever,
***Together against the odds*** is such a challenging but when you are both sailing on this vast of life and on the same boat, the assurance someone can give to you, that whatever happens, or kahit ano pang hindrances na both of you will face, he/she can gave you the assurance that everything will be okay, and no matter what happens nandyan lang sya to assure you na you are not nagiisa in this world.
***"paninindigan" is a word na you always wanted to hear and witnessed to someone you dearly love, in this world na walang kasiguraduhan, siya ang proof na mag sstick sya sayou no matter what, paninindigan ka nya kahit ano pang say ng people sa paligid nila,***
I know this song is somehow related to LGBTQ... And really it warms my heart to hear those lyrics of it, the meaning behind those lines can really assure any person who listen to this songs,
***To have someone you love and loves you is such a great feeling, love can be everything and it has various shades and hue,***
Okay let's get some of my favorite lines in the song and makes myself go make paliwanag about it...
***Paninindigan kita, oo***
***Mamahalin kitang buong buo***
***Kahit sa pagtanda, ako'y sa'yo***
From it's own chorus, I love it talaga, kapag talaga pinanindigan ka nung taong mahal mo, and willing to grow old with you, and that's what we always wanted diba, to be with someone who's willing to be with us until we're old and gray, who will love us unconditionally, no matter our flaws and uncertainties, they are willing to stay committed and give the assurance that we deserved.
***Paninindigan kita, oo***
***Anumang sabihin ng magulong mundo***
***Kahit ayaw nilang ako'y sayo***
***Ika'y iingatan ko***
To be with someone fighting against all odds on this chaotic na mundo we have, like even people that so closed to us doesn't want us to be with each other, still together ypu give each other the assurance that risking is worth i specially when it you whom they love, that feeling na iingatan at mamahalin ka kahit ano pang sabihin ng iba,
***Sasamahan ka kahit na***
***Napapalibutan ng mga problema***
***Sa hirap at ginhawa***
***Dadamayan kita, sinta***
To have a person na willing to be with you anything happens is such a compelling feeling, seems like through pain and sufferings, through happiness and overwhelming feelings na mararamdaman mo sa mundong ibabaw nanjan sila sa tabi mo, through the stormiest day of your life, through rainy days, they just there beside you willing to share their umbrella with you, and if they don't have one, willing mabasa at maligo sa sakit at sasamahan ka kahit ano pang mangyari.
Okay enough na tayo sa mga ganito mas lalo nanamn ako na jojowang jowa haha kidding may time talaga na sobrang softy lang ng sarili ko like kahit makahear ng ganitong song talagang gosh grabe the imagination of scenarios in my mind screams domestics haha, talagang I have these days na ganito so forgive me na lang haha minsan kailangan din naten ng kaweetan sa katawang lupa naten haha wag muna puro sakit.
Lead Image source:
https://www.freepik.com/premium-photo/image-gay-couple-holding-hands-lgbt-flag_17857867.htm
Okay that's it for today and by the way if you wanted to listen to the music then here's the link:
https://youtu.be/EMSAEKeloC8
Enjoy your day everyone, stay safe and keep yourself hyrdated.
Oh let me just give my gratitude for the renewal, thank you so much madam @jane 😊
A tour to my profound notion
A sober thoughts of mine can't justify the vast of my mind that's forever be left unuttered, words that fits perfectly to my unspoken notion, I'm better of when I'm tipsy, I became honest to the point that I can talk solemnly on stuffs you've wanted to know about, but for what's for when I'm drunk on thoughts that started to envelope my empty self, now let's begun to expound those concepts and notion that overly circling through this mind of mine.
Okay don't mind the intro, I'm sober today hahaha gosh I'm restraining myself because I've noticed that I always let myself drown on liqours I shouldn't, also I'm back on my bad habbits gosh, I stop it as early as I could, will not mention it haha my bestfriend would be mad if I tell him that haha,
So again I was just scrolling on my tiktok app and this got my interest, a deep conversation starters, really I'm not onto deep conversation if you will ask me I prefer to not talk hahha kidding but yeah
I'm just like that, I'm not onto any conversation or talk may could be a small talks but when you are that someone's so dear to me I would go all night long having deep conversations with you.
So back to the topic see this
Let's talk about this for a while...
So shall we go deep?
***DO YOU THINK HEARING "I LOVE YOU" BACK IS ESSENTIAL?***
As for me it is not, because not considering it as essential is a respect to the person whom you've said you I love yous, I mean if he/she's not comfortable or not ready on saying it back to you, then it's fine as long as they know that you love them by saying those three words, just saying it is such a great feeling specially when it is matched with actions you are showing to the peoplw who's dear to you, as long as you know that they appreciate and willing to accept your I live yous is enough, and hearing it back is not essential.
***WHEN WAS THE TIME YOU FELT THE MOST NON-PHYSICAL PAIN?***
Hmmm, I think the last time I felt it is last Sunday haha I have a misunderstanding with my dear one who's my father, because I felt pain piercing through my heart because of the words my sister said and it much more added and go deep when I had an heated argument with my father and felt guilty after, but it's okay now we're good though the guilt of raising my voice is still there, I just can't control myself that tike and the anger issue of mine started to burst out and that's when I started to loose it.
***HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO WALK AWAY FROM SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANTED? WHEN?***
Of course a numerous times, I remember walking away from my ex best friend because of my feeling for him and the only thing I know is to walk away because I might just hurt both of us but yeah I think that's not a good decision cause look at where we are now strangers with memories is it haha but it's fine now, knowing that we are now both doing well and fine its enough. Another one is walking away from my wanted course in college, I want to be an gynecologist but yeah life sucks so here I am pursuing the course I never wanted to haha but it's fine now that I started to enjoy it though, and I still have the will to pursue my wanted vourse then I will hahhaa.
***WHAT SOMETHING YOU'RE MOST EXCITED IN FUTURE?***
I'm excited for the whole of it, excited to see myself years from now, I'm excited to be in my own house chilling and be my own boss on my own business, I can't see myself having a family of my own but yeah the thought of being a successful one is overly exciting me, I love to see myself:
On a house of mine chilling at the veranda and seeing my family happily enjoy their lives
Having my own business
Seeing my friends successful and doing great in life
Owning my dream car
Travelled a lot of countries
Living my life and migrated to my dream city.
**That's all for today, I'm still on the process of healing haha not in mentally but literally healing haha gosh I'd had a flu last night because I go out and go home late and tired myself out and go take a bath as soon as I go home. When I wake up early this morning I'm not feeling well. Hahaha**
**Lead Image source:**
https://filmlifestyle.com/what-is-aesthetic-photography/
**Image source:**
https://career.uconn.edu/blog/2016/07/12/putting-the-good-in-goodbye-walking-away-with-grace/
https://www.facebook.com/aestheticpage99/photos/a.1433982310240507/2286830188289044/?type=3
https://wallpapercave.com/ulzzang-couple-wallpapers
https://depositphotos.com/383435500/stock-photo-sad-woman-hug-her-knee.html
**By the way good afternoon everyone, have a nice day to all, enjoy and stay safe and always keep yourself hydrated.**
`To all my lovely sponsors and all people who's continously supporting and motivating me in my journey here thank you so much always.`
My heart belongs to you
*I'm still afraid to say what I feel about you, I care about you more than you know, but all I can do is to just stare at you at distance, loving you from a far, it's silly of me how I fell so hard to you even without thinking if you can catch me too, but as a fool of this kind of matter, even knowing that you will never love me back in a way that I want too, at the end of the day, I found myself waiting for the whole day for you and say the three words that I failed to say directly to you*
*Three words I will always be willing to say to you if I still have the chance to and never get tired of, I'm very lucky that I met you, God let me see the beauty in this life and one of it is in the form of a person who gives me a precious beautiful perspective in life, you let me be myself and be free to do anything that makes me happy and full,*
*I'm so inlove to the things you did for me, I will never get tired of loving you, you let me see the beauty in everything you do, you taught me to embrace this life, you made my existence much more special. You made me believe that in every darkness there will alway be a light that will be waiting for us, that in every ending there's a new beginning. You change my life 360 and I will never get tired of being grateful for doing that.*
*All my life I was asking for a plot twist that will turn my world upside down but then you came and just let me feel in a roller coaster of emotion that everyday when I'm with you, I feel pain and at the same time heaven, I fell sk secure and safe with uou but pains me to see him hugging you and much more pain when I see you loving him with all of you, what could I do? I'm just a friend who's there to accompany you, but I'm such a fool and a masochistic one, to be with you feels like hugging a rose full of torns, the more I let myself be with you, the more pain I'm embracing too,*
*But what can I do, heart can't be taught of who else would it beat for, just one day I just realized I fall so much, I love you so much to the point that I'm willing to be with you even it cause me so much pain, I'm still there supporting you.*
*When he hurts you. I'm always there for you...*
*I'm sorry if your bestfriend is such a coward when it comes to you, not even brave to hug you when I see you hurting because of him, I'm afraid to see the pain in your eyes when you realized I wasn't him that you needed to, I'm just there sitting next to you, letting you feel my presence, if only I can hug you right now, if only I can make you face me and tell me all the pains and I will wash them away, if only I can wipe those tears flowing from your face and I will lead you to my chest and let you feel the fast beating of my heart, but I can't.*
*I'm still here watching you, loving you, I spend my hours, months, years watching you from faraway, hoping that you can see me and let me love you, I wanted to tell you words that he failed to tell you, I wanted you to feel love, I wanted to give you my all but I just can't,*
*I just can't because of one reason, of one accident that happens, you were there with him until a white flashing car hits you accidentally, and your heart ruptures, I'm there and willling to to stay with you, I cried a bucket of tears, I cried until it dried my eyes out, until I found myself in an operating room ready to give and commit myself to you, I'm ready now, I'm ready to say that I love you in a way that forever be with you, always and forver you will feel this heart of mine beating only for you,*
*I love you my dear so much that I'm willing to give my own heart for you to live...*
***My heart belongs to you... Forever.***
*The end.*
**Even I myself was already on the verge of sadness when I'm writing this one, can't help but to feel sad hahha kidding I never failed to satisfy myself through painful stories I fabricated, gosh what if this happens to me for real, it really excites me gosh haha okay I'm crazy to have a mindset like this.**
Lead Image source:
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/302937512422169441/
Image source:
https://www.pinterest.com/taytiwtoo1234/holding-hands/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/823032900627584050/
**By the way, thank you so much for reading, enjoy your day my dears, keep yourself hydrated and keep safe to all.**
`To all my lovely sponsors, readers, subscribers and to all those people who's with me here and keeping me motivated and still supporting me here thank you so much to all of you.`
I'm scared of...
Human beings find their own fears and horrors very intimidating, it's consumes them to the point that they really feel agitated when they see it coming and much more if they dont see it coming they could feel surprised and startled and that's when they begun to panicked.
`Okay before I continue this one, let me just flex my lovely sponsors, they such a great and kind souls, I'm always glad and grateful to them. Thank you so much my dears.`
**Cockroach**
*Gosh I can't handle when I'm seeing even a tiny little one, not to be so maarte but gosh the phobia I have when I saw one hahha, I'm really afraid to them, even they are just so little it can make me go run and hide and shout to the void haha kidding but yeah I hate insects like them*
**Butterflies**
*I'm afraid of butterfly, when I see one I run and try my hardest to avoid it, I can't barely look close to it, my friends says why I hate butterflies but yeah I don't really like them, but I love them when they are just a little green cute caterpillar but when they begun to have wings I'm scared to be near by them haha I don't know why I'm afraid of those insects haha gosh it's so embarassing.*
**People leaving me behind**
*I'm scared of letting people in my life because of that one simplest fear that so difficult to dealt with, when it already happens, commitments and trust is the thing that I'm selfish at, I'm not afraid of being alone but I'm afraid of being left at by people whom became part of my life, because their presence is like a huge percent to make me full and complete my day but when they leave and be gone then it makes me broke and feels like I've been rob by life, someone so dear, so special just leaved me, see? That's the thing I'm afraid of, being left behind, rathen than alone, okay it's the same thing but being alone and nothing to think of someone that makes your day full but left then that became worst, I would rather be alone than to trust people to entering again in my life. Of course some I have now is considered as my treasure one but yeah sometimes they leave for a reason but that's life it is, we have to dealt with it because we are not all the same.*
**Commitments**
*Hahaha wait not to be serious, I'm just afraid of committing onto serious relationship, it's not my forte as of now, I'm still focusing on myself, on my own growth, I don't want to enter on something that I know might just hinder myself, I know some can handle both but for me, it's all aboyt playing and experimenting haha gosh, I remember the first time I almost commit on someone glad I didn't continue it haha but yeah there's still this what ifs that lingers sometimes when I thought of it.*
**Crowded places**
*I'm scared and felt suffocated on places where there's a lot of people, can't really stay longer to places like these, I prefer silence than noisy surroundings, also that's ther reason why I always want to be accompanied when going on places that for sure there's a lot of people would be too, when I'm alone and feel like I'm in the middle of the crowds I started to be irritated and felt like I'm losing myself and felt suffocated. So I barely go alone in crowded places because I have no one to comfort me and relax myself so I choose to go out when there's just few people.*
**That's it for todays article, haha this is just my random writings also this is all legit haha gosh specially butterflies, yes people find them beautiful and precious creatures but for me nah I just back out and really don't want to ever get myself near to them hahha.**
Lead Image source:
https://www.fajarmag.com/fear-the-hindrance-maker/
Image source:
https://www.inc.com/heather-r-morgan/how-to-effectively-sell-through-fear-without-going-too-far.html
https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-fearful-woman-lying-down-while-overcoming-her-fear-of-cockroaches-8458845/
https://twitter.com/spongebob/status/1319717882767486977
https://happilycommitted.com/commitment-quotes/
https://www.facebook.com/QuotesndNotes/posts/people-always-leave-even-if-they-promise-a-thousand-times-that-they-wont-leavevi/1978041985743402/
**By the way how was your monday guys. What a tiring day even without doing nothing but sleeping all day long haha gosh I think I gain weight again haha I just ate and sleep whenever I want and no one really stops me haha. Anyways keep safe to all, also stay hydrated. Good night😊**
????
Ever been in a serious conflict between your dear ones and makes me just want to shut off all of them, badly wanted to finish this study and leave for good yet of course still also help them but never want to show my face to them, my existence is just a shallow of nothing but an empty soul.
Writing my thoughts can ease my ranging anger towards them, can't help but to let those anger of mine turn into tears and just sleep at it all day long, it's been a long time since I let myself cry onto something, I don't want to ever experience again those silent cries at the bathroom letting the water on the faucet flow so that it makes sound to masked up the sound of my crying self.
Way back when I was a young naive child back then, I know it's not just me who experienced and have a mindset like this, like when I've been nag by my parents then I walk out and in my mind I want to leave the house and just go far away from them and go back as a rich and successful one haha gosh my mind is so crazy back then, even though I lnow to myself that I can't leave without my parents, cause what could I do with my age like that, even taking care of myself is such a difficult thing for me that for sure I will struggle with haha.
So yeah after calming myself, I would just sleep it all through the day, I can't help but to sleep and sleep when I'm mad or sad or feeling burn out from things and also people. I'm not in the mood for any conversation or any stuffs to do, I will just knock it off and just ignore the world for a while.
I really hate people sometimes, not to be general of course, people will make you feel different emotions, a roller coaster of various sentiments. But when you really feel the despair and the only reason you feel that way is because of them, and that's it when you realized, you don't hate them but you hate what they did to you, and that I can say is one of the worst feeling ever,
Hating someone you can't hate but you hate what they did to you, and you begun to torning up yourself on this dilemma of yours on what you will do to prevent yourself from a conflict thta might destroy your relation with them, because you don't hate them, you just hate the stuff they did to you. But still they are the person you've experienced happiness and also care but at the same time makes you feel the agony, torment, and strains that you never thought they would make you feel that way.
I don't know the psychology behind hating someone because you love them, but yeah hahha kidding anyways hating someone is easy but forgiving them is mostly the hardest part, but come to think of it, if you confine your anger for a long time thta it becomes overrated and knowing that the person you hate could even forget about your existence, so it's just a waste of time isn't it? Your anger is just there and restricting you to move on, I mean when you've got angry toward someone and your anger doesn't reach them, it would be useless.
Nothing burns the most that could even used you and felt the emptiness and range of anger. Hatred is kinda overrated so we should've just move on forgive or it's your choice what you need to do to cope up with your anger.
*Gosh hahaha I've wrote this one when I'm hella drunk on our saturday night hangout, we've sleepover at my bestfriend's house and drown ourselves from liqours. We need this because we've just finish another sem of college. We've been like this in a long run now. Hahah gosh I laugh when I saw this in my notes app hahha I laugh at the misspelled words and random sayings hahaha, I just edited it today so that I could post it here.*
**Anyways that's it for today, I've been inactive here when it comes to posting article sorry for that, I can't really help to thought of something talaga**
**Haha anyways how was your first day of may so far haha gosh I've just sleep yesterday because of hangover but still I attend my grandmother's birthday, it's her special day and she's special to me as always so can't missed it haha,**
Lead Image source:
https://archziner.com/lifestyle/super-cool-wallpapers-for-girls/
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https://www.peakpx.com/en/hd-wallpaper-desktop-agkym
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/850617448358186514/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/395472411008764577/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/468233692489675453/
**By the way enjoy your day everyone, take care and keep yourself hydrated. hahaha before I've forget hahaha never mind the title I can't think of anything hahaha.**
`To all my lovely sponsors and readers thank you so much always😊`
My Shades of Red
The conscientiousness of admiting that we people sometimes shows the hue that really difficult to detach and cut off cause we really are born and it's in our nature red signs and redflags are always be part of our existence, oh come one there is no such thing as perfect, to be honest those people whom you labeled as a green flas has also those red flag on their personality, we have all our bad and toxic sides that we sometimes change or maybe not.
Toxic? Yes, there are frequent times that even I, could see myself eye to eye, those toxic traits, I'm disclosing and admit that I once become a toxic in ths lifetime of mine, frankly I really love my toxic side before and can't leave off without behaving that one. Toxic when they say, but truthfully I once love that side of me in the past but yeah I will not grow by just being like that so I'm trying hard to avoid it, but still there are times that it will always shown, I think that's a part of me that hard to masked up.
This articles is base on what I've notice about my shades of myself as a being in a red hue that even my bestfriend notice it, okay fine, we had a coffee yesterday morning and yeah we also brought up the topic about our toxicity haha and kinda engross by that topic and we forgot the time already so I go home late haha, furthermore let's go to the topic
`But first let me just flex my cool amazing lively sponsors of mine, thank you so much always.`
Let's go to the topic shall we?
**My toxic side of mine or what they called a red flag:**
****Owning my complications****
*This really hit so hard that I really admit that even when I tell in my articles that it's really good to share your troubles to someone you are comfortable with, can't hide the fact that I really don't share stuffs like that, I don't want to be a burden also I don't want people to look at me with theire pity full stares, hate it, so instead of telling them I rather take it all in all for myself and by doing that I just made a core monster inside me.*
**Anger issues**
*That's really me, couldn't hide it and truthfully until now, I'm still trying to control and aboiding this one, I maybe softy when showing people outside but deep inside I had a range of anger that so shirt and really when I get to the point that it exceeds to the limit, I will become upset and anger will envelope me because of something or someone that triggers them, also I'm not a forgivable person, even if we talk after a fight, in my mind you are still the reason why my blood boils, and yeah I will not befriended people like those.*
**Giving false sign**
*My bestfriend tells me that I'm a walking red flag, and if someone would have the gutts to try and be my own flagpole, she would be proud to that person but really she says that I'm such an ass for being like that, I laugh when I remember our scenario haha gosh she tells me to stop giving people signals or hint that they would probably mistook haha gosh I will not tell some details about this because my bestfriend would probably the one who knows my craziness that people think would be my innocents.*
**Shutting people off**
*I'm still doing this even now, but yeah I think I should reallly include this to my toxic traits, I will shut off people when I have a lots in my conflicted mine, even people who's close and so dear to me is not an exemption, it's hard to please people so must just shut them off when I'm in the midst of trouble, I will heal through my own pain.*
**Masochistic**
*I love pains nothing more to explain.*
**Apathetic behavior**
*Honestly this is one of the most hardest red flag of mine, having care with others is not really my forte, but as for now I think bit by bit I'm alreading in healing phase from this behavior of mine, I started caring about what others feel andeveruthing around me, but I wouldn't lie that sometimes there's this bit of it that still showing up depends on the situation and also in my mood.*
**Gas lighting**
*This is my defense mechanism as always when meeting up with people, will lie my actions I don't want to be understands and read by people, I'm a bipolar when they say, one day we're good but the next day I will act like you never exist from my life, also people I've met and have a mutual understanding with or what they labeled as MU will probably know this haha, they say I'm hard to read and I'm confusing there feelings for me, one day I'm sweet as a candy but the next day will ignored them.*
Okay enough with this I still have a numerous to tell but it would probably took a longer explanation haha gosh but anyways the reason I made this one is I want people to reflect on their behaviors.
This toxic traits will be nurture if we let them envelope us, but as far as I know we can really change this traits for our own bemefits and growth, staying from toxicity will just hinder us, we people learn and grown, we ned to change for the better. Of course sometimes we really feel tough when we show our toxic self in front of others but the truth is, It's not pleasing to see so we must control this, change this and be the best version of ourselves.
Lead Image source:
https://www.biospace.com/article/red-flags-and-green-lights-how-employers-view-you/
Image source:
https://www.pinterest.ru/pin/374432156506856655/
https://www.thehealthy.com/mental-health/anger-management/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/608830443357007229/
https://www.aestheticpic.com/2021/05/58-photography-lonely-aesthetic-pictures.html
https://unsplash.com/s/photos/alone-girl
That's it for now as you can see I'm not really active here though I'm in the midst of something but guess what still want to makes some article and post it here hehez it's our last examination for this sem today so I'm really looking forward to my two weeks semstral break gosh. By the way that's it for todays article thank you so much, stay safe and keep yourself hydrated, enjoy your day.
Omitted for days
Been away and lost, feels like being astray not from home but myself, felt weak and faint and not enthusiast to perpetrate stuffs, eagerness bygone for a while, the enthusiasm, alacrity, and compliance covered with insubstantial self, an empty devoid of existing. It’s been a while since the last time I acted like this, cutting off connection and isolating again and again, and honestly, it’s very obsessing. Being hooked up on this scenario of staying away and being unattended for a while.
Averting myself from everyone is a very effective escape, detouring myself alone is such a great feeling even once in a while but beware because you can might be hooked up and continue to live like these, as for me, I’m craving for alone time, can’t help but to feel lost for a while, maybe after this week, I will be back again to socializing, I'm really avoiding people,
this might not be serious because there’s always a time that I behave like these and my family and friends understands me, course specially my best friend, but yeah to make up for my self-isolation from people I love, I will bond with them this weekend, also especially to my best friend who’s so dramatic last night when I opened her messages haha gosh when I’m reading her messages, I can’t help but to laugh also smile because of here craziness and also her sweet nothings hahah it feel like I’m gone for a long time haha gosh I just ignored her for four of five days haha she’s so dramatic but yeah I’m always grateful that I have her.
Can’t help but to smile knowing people care and thought of you, isn’t it? Even after you long been gone for a while, they still there patiently waiting for you, and for me that’s a commitment, if you have these kind of people in your life, be grateful because you are lucky to have them, they are the blessing from above, to meet people like this is so rare because these days, I noticed that befriending is just only for needs and beneficiaries of each other, there’s no really strong bond and that’s a quite disappointing to see. You know that you just both using each other to gain something, it’s not a good relationship as you thought, it’s a toxic one to have a friend like this who just there when they need something from you.
I love how people makes you feels so special to them, like even in your little missing in action moment they will find your presence, and would be sad and tries to talk abd crease their forehead why your existence can't be seen by him/her.
I really appreciate stuffs like that when they do simple thing that makes you feel soft hearted and warms you, like gosh buddy you just turn me on hahha kidding
Some simple stuff like waiting for me when I'm tying my shoelace even in our circles there's this one friend of mine that will waits for me hehe course that's my bestfriend.
When you aren't available to join them and he/she just calm you even in the middle of the event or the hangouts just to make sure that you are good.
When he/she will listen even to my nonsense talking and the way they just do that looking in my eyes and then laughing to each pther even we really don't know the reason why we laugh hahaha gosh I really miss my bestfriend, I'm really making her pissed of whaha kidding.
Anywyas that will be all for today, I'm really busy taking care of my aunt hehez this is only some short one I'm not able to think of good topic to write so bare with me please. Thank you guys so much.
Would I just end this like that? Hahaha of course yeah, so heyah all my lovely people here, I’m back haha it’s been days since I last been active here, I stop writing for a while because I’ve been taking care of my auntie who’s been operated, and thanks’ God that she’s fine now but need to be monitored while she’s in her healing process, the aftermath of operation. gosh why do I love being like this like feeling like a professional taking care of her patients, I always love to take care of sick people hehez.
Lead image source:
https://aminoapps.com/c/aesthetic_universe/page/blog/hide/l85Y_1EtQugKJZ3JmbElDNNK5Zw6MWX5qq
Image source:
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/763993524265763671/
https://w--o--o--d--l--a--n--d.tumblr.com/post/172739854995/am https://w--o--o--d--l--a--n--d.tumblr.com/post/172739854995/amp
https://br.pinterest.com/pin/104216178864499759/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/543106036314209105/
https://ahseeit.com/?qa=29339/when-you-have-tie-your-shoe-laces-and-that-one-friend-waits-meme
https://m.indulgexpress.com/gadgets/2020/sep/12/phone-calls-create-stronger-connections-but-people-still-prefer-to-text-or-email-28098.amp
Anyways that’s it for now, sorry again for being inactive here, I just prioritized family first hehez, thank you so much for understanding, by the way hope you all had a great day, stay hydrated and keep safe to all, I heard from news the new variant again.
To all my lovely sponsors and to all those who's keeping me motivated and still continuously supporting me here thank you so much to all of you.
A Strenuous Paradox
*A lassie with her unadorned existence through this monotonous diurnal life of her, she's in the middle descendant from her own parents, a middle child, a girl living her life like it's an unembellished, a bland one. Black and white for her own perception. Nothing excites her except the ambiance of loneliness that she's too obessed too.*
*She's a book full of her own jargons, a crucial piece that makes people hard to scrutinized. She doesn't let anyone enter to her fabricated high walls she create for her own sanity, not letting anyone devour her life, she's a puzzled that is so difficult to apprehend, a mysterious soul that's so hard to unravel.*
*The first time you look at her seems like a normal one, nothing to see just a smile that's probably not a genuine one, she has this mood that makes you feel like special to her, she does things people would think they feel special but no, she's just like that, she's too hard to comprehend, one time she wants you, she makes you special, she makes you her center, herown focal pooint of view but then the next day you look like nothing to her, like a dirt or just a stranger, she can make you feel like that, like you juat never exist to her own world.*
*She loves to focused on her subject, but she aren't committed, she loves to go with the flow but not literally ready for any binding and trusting, she's too paradoxical that people think of her as a weirdo, girl with nothing but an empty shadow and empty soul inside her, she's good at pretending to be great and okay, well that's her only way to not be look so afraid and pity to the eyes of other.*
*Being a friendly and at the same time cold and intimaditing one is her own masked to hide her weaked self, her confidence skyrocketing but that's not the true she just being like that because she wanted to decieved peoplw by seeing her as strong and independent one but deep inside she's too fragile,*
*A shard glass that continously breaking into small tiny pieces, she's too delicate and fragile, setting your foot in her life can be chaotic, you need to go with a lot of patience, time and understanding, because she's a girl living with her own diction, those behavior that seems like a jargon is just a teaser of her life, her dictionary is not even a simple one that is easy to understand,*
*She's a girl masking up as an independent brave woman to protect her own sanity, she loves what she does even if it's hurt and consumed her, she heals through her own pains and that what I admired her, she looks at the mirror everyday just to practice her smile to make it more realistic and genuine but deep inside she's tired on living this hell life of her,*
*She's a completely nothing but a person who heals in silent, she doesn't want anyone to hear her pains and sorrows, she's an innocent red flag like what people think of her, and she's aware of it but she doesn't mind, she's full on issues, specially on trusting, I don't blame her, trust can't take years to earn and maybe seconds for her when people whom she love ruined it. She's a girl afraid of anything but doesn't show it to people that she is, instead she tried to fought and comfort her own self, she's the girl that I'm always be proud of,*
*She is the girl who's too focus on writing right now, drinking her favorite cup of black coffee while sitting at the kitchen dining where she found silence,*
*****She's a girl and that girl is me...*****
*See I am no a positive person people think I am. I have my flaws, I'm too complex and a paradox to the point that I am not capable on entering any kind of relationship, even being my friend takes a lot of time and patient to understands me, I'm no a special person, I don't know how to even make a bond and trusting for me is a challenge, I'm no a brave soul, I just exist and that's enough.*
**That's it for today I felt so drained again even though I have nothing difficult to do to makes me feel this tiredness, maybe I don't have enough exercise and my body needs it, I can't help but to over eat again, I'm in the midst of stress eating even though I don't know where I get my stressor haha maybe I'm just overwhelmed by my thoughts, I'm also sleep deprived and not in the mood checking my social medias hahha I'm in the middle of withdrawal from this reality, I'm too obsessed on not minding everyone gosh, I'm too hooked up on reading stories and just staying inside our house and just listen to some music.**
**Okay enough with this dramatic stuffs, I'm just drained nothing to worry about, okay hope you all had a great day, happy Monday everyone, hope you enjoy your day and keep yourself hydrated and stay safe.**
Lead Image source:
https://iphone6papers.com/az88-drawing-simple-minimal-girl-illustration-art-dark/amp/
Image source:
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/674765956666420653/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/did-you-crying-en-2021--664210645050677348/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/aesthetic-wallpaper--732679433136564036/
https://id.pinterest.com/pin/746190232000444241 https://id.pinterest.com/pin/746190232000444241/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/791366965779837422/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/914862414915677/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/617626536389081695/
https://www.pinterest.com/ani7250/aesthetic/
`To all my lovely sponsors, readers, and to all those people who's keep on motivating and inspiring me through my journey here in this platform, I'm always grateful to all you kind hearted souls, thank you so much.`
Before this wonderful night end I would like to give this moment to appreciate and be grateful for this two amzing kind humans here thank you so much to my sponsors @Talecharm @Bloghound for the renewal. God bless you both✨😊🙌
Notions circling through My Consciousness
A baggage of contemplation gushing extremely all over my mind and almost taken away my sanity from living this reality. Starting to fabricate tons of overly scrutinizing thoughts and mindlessly looking at nothingness.
Having thoughts about this for a mean time, we have all those what if's in life that makes us overthink and makes us stay awake at night, making us stay for a long time at shower mindlessly thinking unnecessary things, those what if's that eating you alive, like you are staring at the ceiling or your room, silence is creeping you out, the nothing but an empty self is started to invade your restless mind and soul, you started to overthink things, started to go back to think the past that somehow leaves you a regrets...
Humans can't hide the fact that overthinking is one of the hardest thing to avoid, like even in a simple morning or late night walk without thinking something just your goal to make yourself calm then that's the exact time the what if's and overthinking of things started to go run in circles to your mind, and you just mindlessly focus on your thoughts than your walking,
**Well I have a lot of what if's in life, and I somehow wanted to share it here,**
**What if I choose a different college course?**
*This makes me still overthink especially when I'm to hooked up on my academic stuffs that just makes me tired at all, I really don't get it in the past when they say that you supposed to choose a thing or a job that your really love and you surely know to yourself that you will enjoy that passion, but now that I choose my coege course as an engineering student, I don't really enjoy taking this one, yes it's challenging for me but it's different, I don't see myself in this field so I'm trying to fit in, my what if is, what if I choose medicine course would I be hapoy taking it, knowing that in the first place that's the first thing that I really wanted.*
**What if I'd just died when I was four?**
*Yes, I barely talk about this, my life almost got finished when I was a four years old, that time mom is the only one who's with me, my dad is at work so no one can help my mom when I got a convulsion, mom was crying that time because she doesnt know where to go not when my aunt help her and as fast as they can they go drive to the nearest hospital and that's it I survived, I still put this in my mind when I felt like things are getting difficut, that scenario and question starts to envelope my mind, what if I just died that time so that I'm not experiencing this difficulties in life.*
**What if I'm not born as a girl?**
*Could I be more happy? Hahaha kidding I'm also happy living as a girl, actually gender is nothing in this modern world that we are living in but sometimes there's this thought in my mind that what if I'm born as boy and not a girl, what it feels like to be libing as a boy haha like what my favorite singer says Avril Lavigne "if I were a boy" haha.*
**What if this life is all just a dream?**
*This sometimes makes me think of what if I'm just sleeping and this happenings in my life is only part of my dream, if I'm sleeping please can somebody wake me up haha, or what if we are just all made of fabricated thoughts and dreams of someone and you living your life just being a character an extra to a dream of someone.*
**What if there's really an alternative universe?**
*If that would really happen then maybe in the other world I'm much more happier and maybe things could be different somehow, but actually I do believe on alternative universe, a parallel universe, those black holes and aliens, haha I would be lying if I don't say that I'm too engrossed by those stuffs that make people think I'm a weirdo and also an immature believing on stuffs like that, but who are they to judge my fondness on those stuffs.*
This is just some random writings of mine, could make sense to some but yeah just a nonsense thoughts of my mind becauae these past few days makes me feel so empty, I'm avoiding people for my own sanity just yesterday I'm okay and then today is not, ever feel that way? Haha, so yeah that's it for todays video hahaha kidding
*I just want to tell you all that there was always a time or period in our life that we really thought we choose or we are not even given a chance to choose that makes us think what if this not haopen or this poor choices led us to this moment where we are now, but please don't let those thoughts creeping you and envelope your sanity, overthinking is difficult to avoid those what if will swallow you piece by piece but please never let those fabricated thoughts hinder you from reality.*
Happy Sunday to all hope you started your day right and well, hehez well they said that if you started it right then you will end it right, kidding I don't believe in that phrase hahaha I just live, exist and go pn with life, wish that everything is going on well to everyone here. Thank you so much for reading.
Lead Image source :
https://www.pinterest.com/ekbalzein/scintilla/
Image source :
https://cz.pinterest.com/pin/607704543460159085/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/461830136791743228/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/657736720562301430/
https://www.peakpx.com/en/search?q=aesthetic+eye
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/64457838404821781/
`To all my lovely, amazing sponsors, readers, subscribers and too all those people who's continously supporting and motivating me here thank you so much fro that never endingeffort and helps you gave, may all the good things in life comes knocking on your door.`
Cherished inevitable simplicity
The smooth movement of the needles through the few strands of fabric mesmerized me, the sound of the embroidery machine serves as rhythms to my ears that seems to give solace for a while, I can't imagine myself being too focus on this thin fabric and a needle that runs by the machine, gosh I just learned to embroid woah, in a span of few hours of nagging by my very own lovely grandmother haha,
So for todays video hahaha kidding
It's blogging time,
After academic time is done, I immediately visit my grandmother's house, I just have the feels to go annoy her and at the same time bond with her, I go ready myself and go as soon as possible since I don't want to waste my time anymore and just go there and find a relief and a presence of love and care of my loveliest person, my beautiful grandmother, hey I'm not sugar coating here ha, she's really indeed a beautiful grandma of mine o ha same genes and blood runs through me so consider me as beautiful too Hahahahah no scratched that beautiful, haha beautiful is an understatement I'm beyond that one hahah kidding I'm too head over heals again to my own self, haha
So back to the story, when I finally arrived at my grandmother's house it's seems new to me that she's not sitting to her favorite chair, and it somehow makes me curious hahha gosh what she could be doing, hehez I'm so used to see her sitting at her chair at time like this but today she's not there, so I go check her room to find her but no one is in her room, so I go to stairs to looks for her, to be amazed when I got to see her so focused on something, haha gosh it's an embroidery machine that she is using, ow I remember that it's a gift from my aunt last year so she just used it today haha gosh my grandma is also like me a lazy one hahaa kidding.
So as a playful grand daughter of her, I walk slowly for me not to notice my presence and hug her from the back and she got shocked but smile after haha, she asked me what I'm doing at her house, "If I skipped class ba daw luh, eto namn la minsan na nga lang pumunta oh skipped class agad, di ba pwedeng maaga lang natapos at gusto ko mangbulabog sa kanya" hehez but I just shrugged and smile and get curious on what she's doing,
I asked her to teach me how can she does that amazing work just by that, o gosh at first I thought it was an easy peasy but the heck I almost stressed myself out, when the thread in the machine turns like a knotted knot haha I'm not really good at this swear to myself but the hell I care I'm in a competitive mode and I'm eagerly wanted to learn this one haha so yeah in a matter of time I quite learned it haha so it was easy lang namn pala,
I thank my grandmother on teaching me some basics of embroidery hahaha then we just had a throwback story that serves as a conversation haha
She brought up the embarrassing past of mine, so back then when I'm in my preschool days we had this subject home economics and it includes embroidery so we need to all participate but it's taken home because classes ends so we need to continue it in our home but hahah I have nothing to continue because first thing first I have no idea doing it, so I just go home frustrated but my grandma is there and ask me why I looked like a child that cries and pouted because her mother doesn't buy him his stuff, haha I laugh at that and says about my embroidery thingy haha
I really laugh so hard at my antics I'm so highly looking at myself that I don't give a damn to people, business is just business nothing elese nothing more that's my motto, so again I lower my pride and ask some help to my grandma, the supposed to be teaching time between me snd her hahha I just fell asleep and after that I woke up and my embroidery project is already done, how come... Ow she finsihed it,
I proudly passed it to my teacher and just by that she chose me to be the one of the representative in class to go for embroidery school base competition hahah and I remember how I looks so nervous that even putting thread into needle is I can't, gosh I'm not the one who does my project for pete sake haha so yeah I said to my teacher I'm not in good condition and fake my stomachache hhaha I spend my whole day at the clinic, it's a white lie to save my ass hahaha
We both laugh at the throwback embarrassing of mine hahaha but to be honest it's one of the part of my golden days hehez, I just talk and talk to my grandma until I didn't noticed the time it's already late so I should go home, hehez
It's really fun to experience those simple little stuffs and a moment to share with to our grandparents, just look at them smiling and telling stories you can see through their eyes the love and the nostalgia of them and feels like they wanted to experience it again even it's hard, youthfulness are the best one✨🤞💯
Anyways have a great day everyone, stay safe and keep yourself hydrated.
Lead image source:
https://www.thesprucecrafts.com/free-sewing-patterns-1356433
Image source:
https://www.istockphoto.com/photos/sewing-granny
https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/diy-fashion-tiktok/?amp
https://favim.com/image/4013417/
https://www.semidelicatebalance.com/best-grandparents-quotes-that-will-make-you-smile/
Happy Thursday everyone, feels like tine flies so fast it's already Thursday again haha, I'm trying to post article here because I'm still too busy on some stuff including the academic haha but yeah still trying here hehez...God bless to all
“Shall we dance?”
The echo of the kitchen wares and utensils lingers through these four corners of a spacious kitchen of yours, the cold running water coming from the faucet calms you and making you focus on washing the dishes, you stop for the meantime when the radio plays the next song that makes you smile and touch your heart for a while…
***For you, there'll be no more crying***
***For you, the sun will be shining***
While you vibe through the song you felt someone at your back tap your shoulder , you smile when you turn your face to him, just like before, he lend his arm to you and release a sweet smile you will always be craving for, you put your focus on your dishes again, but he just back hugged you and that’s the cue that he wanted you to dance with him…
***And I feel that when I'm with you***
***It's alright, I know it's right***
You halt on washing the dishes and face him when he slowly guides you to let go of the sponge and plates you are holding to, , he slowly guide you to the middle of the kitchen, and slowly sway your body, you let him lead the dance, he held you on your waist and slowly put your both arms on his neck and shoulder, it all feels so right, just like what the lyrics says, that when you are with him, everything just feels so great…
***To you, I'll give the world***
***To you, I'll never be cold***
***Cause I feel that when I'm with you***
***It's alright, I know it's right***
You both slowly swaying on the song, you smile at the view of the two of you, if you can just took a video on this one you will, but this creature just seems like don’t want you to ever let go of him, he gives you a hugged and planted small kisses at your forehead, her lips traveled closely to your ears, and you feel the shivered of his hot breath and he just says his sweet nothings that makes you giggle and hug him more while you both slow dancing on this kitchen room,
***And the songbirds are singing,***
***Like they know the score***
***And I love you, I love you, I love you***
***Like never before***
You just love this, you just love him, you just love the idea of being with him in the simple house you both built, the idea of spending together the quite afternoon at this kitchen room while dancing on this nonstop favorite nostalgic song you both love and makes it your official song when you became together, you are so thankful that God let you be with this man, he let you fall for this amazing person who makes your lifetime much more exciting and worth living for, your love for him can’t be defined by any words, and can’t be measured by anything, just by his existence makes you feel more lively and makes you embraced life, you just undeniably fall for him,
***And I wish you all the love in the world***
***But most of all, I wish it from myself***
You considered him as a blessing from above, the way he makes you laugh on the most serious time, the way he makes you feel so appreciated when you questioning your worth, he was there even you don’t want too, he never judge, he never fails to make you feel that you are not alone in this lifetime, you fall and the only reason is him, his existence if worth loving for, you can’t wait a day not seeing him, you’ve been together for a while and decided to build a house and leave together, he became your person and also your home,
***And the songbirds keep singing***
***Like they know the score***
***And I love you, I love you, I love you***
***Like never before, like never before,***
***Like never before***
but life will do everything just to make it ruined, as the song stops, just like the lyrics of it, you will still love him like never before, you love him forever and always, you smile while gently letting your tears fall as you remember it while hearing the song, you stop what you are dong and look to the kitchen, you just remembered how he makes you dance to this spacious kitchen room, the memories of him lives in your heart, it broke you more when you see the picture of you together before the worst thing that happen that makes you feel alone on this home you both built, just one day he never woke up, he had an heart attack… it ruins you into pieces knowing you will never be able to see him smile, dance and spend your lifetime with him, but you smile to your thoughts, because you knew that he’s still here and he will always be here in your heart,
***“Wait me for another dance my love”***
**That’s it for todays video hahaha kidding okay quite a domestic couple vibe talaga when it comes to this one, I love the idea of living with your favorite person, not just for lovers ha, I mean living with your favorite person is such a great deal hehez I love the idea of waking up together, and says good mornings, and sleep together while bidding our goodnights, just staying at the same roof with your favorite one is a lovely idea, hehe actually my best friend and I was always been planning this when we finished college gosh I’m so excited hehez.**
**Anyways hope you enjoy the story, thank you for reading, stay hydrated, and keep safe everyone. Oh by the way the song I used here is my favorite one hehez If you wanted to listen through it then heres the link:**
https://youtu.be/wTi19MPOvDw
https://youtu.be/wTi19MPOvDw
Lead image source:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TaylorSwift/comments/a5kehs/were_dancing_around_the_kitchen_in_the/
Image source:
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/230035493443467635/
https://www.livingetc.com/whats-news/the-latest-kitchen-trends-197615
https://nl.pinterest.com/pin/303922674837990001/
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6IAH84N8Qc4aCZ4XqedjNx
https://www.istockphoto.com/photos/couple-slow-dancing-in-the-kitchen
`To all my lovely sponsors, visitors, readers, and to those who supports, guide, and motivates me here, thank you so much, God bless you all.`
Soft hours
The appeasing vibe of this pacifying mushy headrest cushion under my head, a plump cylindrical shaped pillows that I cuddly embraced, the warmth of this blanket granted me a soothing feeling that just makes me want to subdue and forget the reality for a while.
Writing this one while I’m laying down in bed, and looks like a sicko, fine, I have a fever today, I’m a sick human for today’s video hahaha, gosh at least to have update here to recover from my absence of article yesterday, so here I am with the box of tissue on my corner, a bottled water, and the untouched food, I doesn’t have any appetite to eat haha, but I need to keep my self-hydrated since this cough and cold are overly frustrating me the whole day,
We supposed to have a video recorded presentation this afternoon, and I'm thankful it's move tomorrow because I’m not in the mood really to present because of this cold that I had I need to maintain my voice not to be cracked because this will be a graded presentation, so yeah, I still hoping to managed to speak nice tomorrow haha, even from time to time I look like an addict inhaling hahaha,
This me being a softy for today’s video haha cause gosh, I’m not in the mood to even stand up, I really hate being sick, I look like a patient here, but yeah being too softy cause I can’t handle myself when I’m sick and not in good condition, I just sleep after our leader tells that video presentation was moved tomorrow, then I wake up and go take a bath, yeah I’m that crazy one who preferred to be clean and fresh even I’m sick as hell, my mom nag me because I even take long in the shower even though I’m not feeling well, well that’s me being germophobia hahaha kidding is that even exist well I don’t know it just slips in my mind while writing this one,
I’m shivering from cold, so I turn off the AC and the electric fan because gosh I look like a meat freezing at the freezer of the fridge haha, but yeah now that I’m feeling fresh, I write this one just for a tea for todays,
So, while writing this one there’s something I want to share haha because I read some stories in Wattpad, so this get me curios,
*“No matter how hard people try, some things aren’t meant to happen”*
Gosh I feel like goosebumps and tearing up because of the story and this is one of the lines of the person that loves another, but they can’t be together no matter what they try, to the point that it almost cost their life,
Imagine someone that you really loved, love someone else and he/she can’t reciprocate the feeling you have for them, you do all the stuffs just to get them, just for them to love you, it even appears that you already crossed the line, but life and destiny is not on your side,
People tend to be fragile or what’s the famous labeled of it, yeah being a marupok, I don’t know but I’m also one of this, not just because of love for partners gosh I don’t have one, but also for my family and friends, I love them and for them I’m a fragile human being, even things that I’m against it I still did it for them later on, that’s how love works in some of peoples perspective isn’t it, don’t deny the fact that you once become like this, in some of our life there’s this time that we look and act like an idiot because of love, the famous saying, being in love you can do unusual things you don’t usually do, you get crazy but as time goes by some people will just give up and ready themselves for acceptance that this lifetime is not for them, that’s just how life it is.
We can’ t acquires all things that we wanted, life will not always satisfy you with your wants, life is not that easy to deal with, and even after trying your hardest, some things are not meant for you, just like on the story that I have read,
*"So those some things that aren’t meant to happen, happens to be her, " says by the person who loves unconditionally to the person that happens to be her.*
**So that’s it for tonight, I will just go sleep early and rest I think I will recover fast if I just sleep, hahaha I really don’t have energy to go eat something, I even hide my meds hahaha, I’m not fond of taking medicines even I’m sick, I just let it numb me hahaha you know, I have this thought that if the flu or the body reaches its capacity to feel weak later on I will be used to it and just recover fast but yeah if this take long then maybe I should, okay that’s it for now, have a goodnight sleep to all, stay hydrated and keep safe everyone.**
Lead image source:
https://www.obc-uk.net/blog/how-to-get-a-good-nights-sleep-in-the-heat-or-cold
Image source:
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/why-am-i-still-getting-sick-in-isolation/amp/
https://www.inc.com/steve-tobak/how-to-work-when-you-feel-like-crap.html
https://www.guarantorloansuk.net/blog/what-to-do-if-you-become-ill-or-sick/
https://www.pinterest.com/amp/pin/769552655056184132/
https://medium.com/acad-oval/on-love-and-letting-go-7112739a570a
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/24980972909289332/
`To all my lovely sponsors, readers, and visitors, and all those people who keeps on supporting and motivating me here in this platform, I’m always grateful to all of you, thank you so much, God bless to all of us.`
How come it went to this?
It's great to see people care about politics and really trying their best to promote and support the best person they knew that deserves to be in a sit for the chosen one, but I hate the fact that this is getting out of hand, I mean of course it's good that people taking this coming election very seriously but I hate it when they over did stuffs that exceeds to the limit to the point that it's getting crazy like hell why does they always connect politics on some stuffs, like okay this intro is getting longer so gonna share some of the stuff I noticed
Wearing colored shirts and they gonna based it to some partylist color, gosh I hate it people noticed me wearing the color of the partys of that person just make me one of their supporter, gosh I love to wear pa namn plain colored shirts, one day I was walking around to go to my bestfriend's house, I just wear a jogger pants, a plain pink shirt, and a pink face mask and also a pink slipper to match it with my top but the hell some of our neighbors shouts that I'm also a kakampink what they said like that actually I'm not against it but it's just make my blood boil to be labeled as a supporter of any parties haha I just want just go wear a rainbow shirt haha kidding,
One time I also wear a red one haha gosh I'm also being labeled as one of bbm supporter gosh hahaha I mean it's not bad but how the hell people labeled me just because of shirt I'm wearing gosh this is crazy and also frustrating to think off,
One day I'm so lss to one of the jingle song of Andrew hahaha the bagong pilipinas bagong muka hahah gosh I can't help but to sing it because to be honest Andrew E is one of my idol when it comes to pinoy songs and raps hahha but yeah is there something wrong to sing this song it's just that it's very catchy haha of course people says that I'm one of bbm supporters haha I hate people hahaha kidding on behalf,
Also some of the memes I saw is not funny for some reason like they seems making a person in that party like a saint gosh, are we nuts or stupid? Yes of course I understand that we have our own way to support them but to does stuffs like those I mean it's very unnecessary and really a stupid one,
Come one man up people, support who you wants to support but please be wise on doung things and the way supporting them please don't do stuffs just for clout and to be noticed gosh, that's why I hate politics, but as a citizen I should be aware on this stuffs and really I'm aware of those but I just keep quite, they said we need to voice out but who cares if I don't want to I will vote whom I knew would be better but of course we have no assurance and we are not certain to our decision because peoplewill always be people of coars suagr coated words are always there when they want us to be attract and believed them and it's natural.
Since election day is almost coming, I want you to all participate and be wise on choosing the better person you thought that could make a big difference to this country we living in, also don't be taken back by those sugar coated stuffs and words they might say but choose whom you really want, respect people's choices as always.
**That's it for now, Anyways this is just a rant for today, so how are you guys, by the way. Happy Easter Sunday to all, to God be the glory, enjoy your night everyone, stay hydrated and stay safe.**
**Okay let me just be honest hahaha updating my dear readers hahah I have mo bebe so updating here I'm with my homies and hang out drinking haha actually I'm still sober but I knew later will just be tipsy so might as well post this before anything happens I wrte thisbone this morning so I just edited some tonight haha I still have class tomorrow but yeah this night should be chill one, goodnight to all☺️**
Lead Image source:
https://www.istockphoto.com/photos/confused-person
Image source:
https://memegenerator.net/instance/65015575/this-is-sparta-meme-this-is-philippine-election
https://theindiaobserver.com/we-must-vote-today-no-matter-what/
https://medium.com/innovation-machine/a-weighted-democracy-what-if-votes-were-unequally-important-58c2c95c2c4a
https://www.indiamart.com/proddetail/women-plain-t-shirt-16564672562.html
https://www.amazon.in/Reifica-Cotton-bio-Washed-Sleeve-t-Shirt/dp/B07DQNS1DY
https://soundcloud.com/rirax-garcia
https://soundcloud.com/rirax-garcia
`To all my lovely readers, sponsors, subscribers, and to all people who's supporting and keeping me motivated here, will always be grateful to all of you, thank you so much everyone✨💕`
@MidnightSky
