Outburst of reminisce

Scrolling through my phone all day except when I go through my online class this afternoon after that I'm just too lazy to be productive but here I am writing this one, I've nothing in my mind to write so I just scroll down through my social media apps, from my meta account, to, Instagram, then to my favorite application twitter,

So I was just scrolling and this post caught my attention

Reading this tweet makes me go back to the days and moments where I don't want to ever experience again...

Did you ever experienced the feeling of pretending onto something that maybe someone said to you or made you feel the pain through their words or through their action that made makes you offended and hurt for the same time.

It's really hard to masked up our pain specially when you just want to leave the scenario, and the person who cause it.

Pretending to be okay when you're not is a strong act that not everyone can do, but still if we look at the other angle, we can see that pretending is also the act of weakness,

Pretending to be okay is not a good thing, specially when you really want to just burst out and let those pain and anger unleashed.

I had a lot of experience like this,

Story time!

When I was in my shs days I used to be an average student, not good nor bad, just neutral, I don't take school seriously but I also don't let my grades to fall, because I'm afraid of disappointing my parents so yeah...

So when we have our thesis, I'm so fed up on things that we shoul do so that we can avoid cramming, because that's the most thing I hate, procrastination and cramming, I mean we have given an ample time to do our researh so we need to used it wisely.

But my groupmates doesn't cooperate even I'm not the leader I think I'm acting one because our leader just want to chill and want to ruah things when the due comes, and I hate it.

I talk to them and distribute equally all the tasks so that we can just revise after, but day jjst passes some did not do their part and some are just I don't know if they really give effort or just copy paste it from internet, the first time I gave them another extension so that they can fixed it and do it then I finish my part and when I see their works again it still the same and they have a lot of reasons, then I just make it on my own and actually I finished it the day before our defense,

That night before our defense, I didn't take any sleep or even a nap, then I said what they need to do during our defense, and said to them to underatand our papers and don't just read it. They said okay, and I'm contented to it.

Not until during our defense, They just read those what are written in our presentation, but the panelist want everyone of us to answer and defend our topic. So yeah we considered as redefense and that's when I burst out and confront them, that's what I'm afraid of to let out my frustration and anger to someone,

That's the first time I get angry to them, It so hustle to repeat our thesis all over again but yeah after that I apologized and just walk away.

The next experience I had is when my friend teased me, and I tried to calm down but sometimes it just so over and he already exceed to his limits, and that's in when I say all things I wanted to say to him and I spit words that's inappropriate and judgements about him. And that I admit, I can't control myself when my feelings are already heavy, and counting from one to ten does not effect anymore so I burst out, and feel guilty about it after.

What I want to say is we should be aware to our action, we shouldn't treat everybody as a person who can easily just take your jokes and behavior, not everyone is same with you. Remember your limits and considered everyone. We all have feelings and it has also has its limits. We should know who we're dealing with, we shoul considered feelings of everyone around us because sometimes even they are smiling at you, you don't know how that person feels, maybe for you it's just a joke, maybe for you it's just a normal thing and no big deal, but for someone it is real, and it's a big deal, so we dont just act recklessly.

Lead image source :

https://weheartit.com/entry/316458412

Thats it. Have a blast on this Monday night everyone, happy to sleep this early because we have online classes again tomorrow ahhh I don't want to study anymore I'm so tired and lazy for it, can we just skip to the good part hahaha kidding, anyways have a great night everyone, goodnight!