A Strenuous Paradox
A lassie with her unadorned existence through this monotonous diurnal life of her, she's in the middle descendant from her own parents, a middle child, a girl living her life like it's an unembellished, a bland one. Black and white for her own perception. Nothing excites her except the ambiance of loneliness that she's too obessed too.
She's a book full of her own jargons, a crucial piece that makes people hard to scrutinized. She doesn't let anyone enter to her fabricated high walls she create for her own sanity, not letting anyone devour her life, she's a puzzled that is so difficult to apprehend, a mysterious soul that's so hard to unravel.
The first time you look at her seems like a normal one, nothing to see just a smile that's probably not a genuine one, she has this mood that makes you feel like special to her, she does things people would think they feel special but no, she's just like that, she's too hard to comprehend, one time she wants you, she makes you special, she makes you her center, herown focal pooint of view but then the next day you look like nothing to her, like a dirt or just a stranger, she can make you feel like that, like you juat never exist to her own world.
She loves to focused on her subject, but she aren't committed, she loves to go with the flow but not literally ready for any binding and trusting, she's too paradoxical that people think of her as a weirdo, girl with nothing but an empty shadow and empty soul inside her, she's good at pretending to be great and okay, well that's her only way to not be look so afraid and pity to the eyes of other.
Being a friendly and at the same time cold and intimaditing one is her own masked to hide her weaked self, her confidence skyrocketing but that's not the true she just being like that because she wanted to decieved peoplw by seeing her as strong and independent one but deep inside she's too fragile,
A shard glass that continously breaking into small tiny pieces, she's too delicate and fragile, setting your foot in her life can be chaotic, you need to go with a lot of patience, time and understanding, because she's a girl living with her own diction, those behavior that seems like a jargon is just a teaser of her life, her dictionary is not even a simple one that is easy to understand,
She's a girl masking up as an independent brave woman to protect her own sanity, she loves what she does even if it's hurt and consumed her, she heals through her own pains and that what I admired her, she looks at the mirror everyday just to practice her smile to make it more realistic and genuine but deep inside she's tired on living this hell life of her,
She's a completely nothing but a person who heals in silent, she doesn't want anyone to hear her pains and sorrows, she's an innocent red flag like what people think of her, and she's aware of it but she doesn't mind, she's full on issues, specially on trusting, I don't blame her, trust can't take years to earn and maybe seconds for her when people whom she love ruined it. She's a girl afraid of anything but doesn't show it to people that she is, instead she tried to fought and comfort her own self, she's the girl that I'm always be proud of,
She is the girl who's too focus on writing right now, drinking her favorite cup of black coffee while sitting at the kitchen dining where she found silence,
She's a girl and that girl is me...
See I am no a positive person people think I am. I have my flaws, I'm too complex and a paradox to the point that I am not capable on entering any kind of relationship, even being my friend takes a lot of time and patient to understands me, I'm no a special person, I don't know how to even make a bond and trusting for me is a challenge, I'm no a brave soul, I just exist and that's enough.
That's it for today I felt so drained again even though I have nothing difficult to do to makes me feel this tiredness, maybe I don't have enough exercise and my body needs it, I can't help but to over eat again, I'm in the midst of stress eating even though I don't know where I get my stressor haha maybe I'm just overwhelmed by my thoughts, I'm also sleep deprived and not in the mood checking my social medias hahha I'm in the middle of withdrawal from this reality, I'm too obsessed on not minding everyone gosh, I'm too hooked up on reading stories and just staying inside our house and just listen to some music.
Okay enough with this dramatic stuffs, I'm just drained nothing to worry about, okay hope you all had a great day, happy Monday everyone, hope you enjoy your day and keep yourself hydrated and stay safe.
Lead Image source:
https://iphone6papers.com/az88-drawing-simple-minimal-girl-illustration-art-dark/amp/
Image source:
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/674765956666420653/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/did-you-crying-en-2021--664210645050677348/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/aesthetic-wallpaper--732679433136564036/
https://id.pinterest.com/pin/746190232000444241
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/791366965779837422/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/914862414915677/
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/617626536389081695/
https://www.pinterest.com/ani7250/aesthetic/
To all my lovely sponsors, readers, and to all those people who's keep on motivating and inspiring me through my journey here in this platform, I'm always grateful to all you kind hearted souls, thank you so much.
Before this wonderful night end I would like to give this moment to appreciate and be grateful for this two amzing kind humans here thank you so much to my sponsors @Talecharm @Bloghound for the renewal. God bless you both✨😊🙌
