Come on, have fun!

Go ahead, have fun!

Every time I get up, I start the daily routine, wash up, get dressed, prepare breakfast, read the news to find out if there is an important event, check social networks, answer messages if they deserve it, take a work call, hang up.

Joke with a partner. Give the pet food and water the plants. Take a bite of the cookie.

And go to the bathroom, open the drawer and there it was: a brand-new stainless steel blade, on the package you could read "Gillette PlatinumPlus".

• "This shit must cut very well, it would be ideal" he said to himself.

He took off his shirt, put The Cramberries zombie ringing on the cell phone aside, wet his entire beard, and began to shave. But an impulse began to take hold of him, he quickly eliminated all his beard and went on to cut his eyebrows, following all the hair on his head, and progressively he ended up undressing, to the rhythm of the next gypsy kings song that was playing in the telephone: "bandoleio bandoleia because I began to live life like this ..." and the blade passed by removing every hair from his body, being completely shaved, at least all the hairs that were visible had disappeared.

He began to count each of the hair that had fallen to the ground and to put them meticulously wrapped in a small square of toilet paper, which he folded carefully and deposited it by force of a piggy bank, since he had to save until the last hair, was what his father had instilled in him all his life, and now in this dark outbreak of psychotic madness, caused by the closure of the pandemic, he was doing it.

Every day he repeated the same ritual, but since he had no hair to cut, he took the ones he had placed in the pig, unwrapped the papers, and put each hair on his skin with saliva. Then later, minutes later, pass the razor and shave, because he was a man of good morals, his Catholic and Apostolic parents who went to Mass every Sunday, had taught him that.

His partner? She was lying deflated on the bed, all the air had already come out, her plastic tits and buttocks shone and he had the body fluids that had been spilled a few minutes ago making the delicious morning meal.

This is the life of any average "healthy" bachelor.

If you want to believe it's mine, go ahead and have fun.