01-31-22

Hello last day of the month. I was out in @Read.Cash for 2 days and I feel like I can't afford to be inactive in read.cash for more than 2 days for the thought that @TheRandomRewarder might forget me. Anyway, this is just going to be a random short post for today.

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During the weekends, I've been drafting a few articles which I can't finish for some reason. No worries, I'll be able to catch up and finish it soon.

Things keep running off my head. Days, weeks, months counting. A lot of stuff to ponder on, a lot of things to worry about, you just can't tell what to deal first.

Family

I also thought that being away from my husband would make me miss him a lot these days. It's been a month since he went home and due to certain circumstances he may need a few more weeks to get home.

Our Lil B is growing so fast and it breaks my heart to see that she and my husband can only talk to each other for less than a week when he comes home but everyday through video chat. I know that I may sound ungrateful to think that we are lucky enough to have a complete family and a healthy baby. It just hurts my heart so bad and sometimes I think that I am being selfish for only having our daughter on our side, my parent's side.

My husband and I finally have decided to move in to where he works so we can be together. While she's growing, I am not fond of the one of Lil B's parents are away most of the time. I don't want her to feel what I felt when I was a kid on some point.

As I am writing this article, Lil B was a bit clingy yesterday and super clingy today.

I think she's experiencing pain somewhere, might be her teeth or might be her tummy. Good thing that she was so sleepy today and I was able to put her to sleep while carrying her. Thanks to this baby carrier, it really helps my back so I can carry her longer and with less back pain.

Not my kid

There's also about what my father said about my Lil B yesterday and it bothered me so much. It made me realize other things again and brought back emotions or trauma when I was a kid. I will post about it soon, stay tuned.

How do I deal with it?

I don't or let's just say I'd be quiet. It would also be nice to write something about it just to let it out but seems like I am not in the mood to do so. I just watch movies or TV series or play Mobile Legends or sleep but sleep is a luxury when you're a full time mom.

I miss you

Sepanx from different people in my life.

I miss my husband even if we talk everyday, everynight.

I miss my bestfriends, one perks of being a full time mom and an on going pandemic is not going out with your friends. I miss talking to one of them, who just celebrated her birthday yesterday. I feel like I can't talk to her because of her possessive partner.

I miss me. Not that I regret being a mom. I just......

I just wanted to post something a little bi so random so I can go back to my daily writing or posting routine.

Lead image from unsplash, pictures posted are mine.