"I Love You", never in such a long time I would have heard that threewords, and would come out from my very own voice. It has been so long that It doesn't seems meaningful to me. And today as I open my eyes and see the other side of it. It gives another meaning to me. Love, it doesn't exist only romantically. It exist everywhere and when you felt it there is a warmth feeling that touches your soul, deeper within. You may never find a reason to live again for yourself, but for the first time that you woke up there is a new beginning, if not for you, but for another soul.
They said you only live once, so choose to be happy. I refused to do that. I will remain and stand on my ground to what I believe in and be unhappy over things that are too shallow. If I'll go back to where I was asked to choose, I'd still choose the same thing over and over again, even it destroy my soul endlessly.
Life was hard back then, but it became so light through the help of Ron, I was just 18 and he is 21 when he started courting me. And I can feel like I am the most beautiful girl alive, when he picks me up from school and send me off to our home. Have you ever felt that? Like I was above from the sky sitting on the clouds and everything seems so light. I look forward everyday for our daily encounter. To hear his laughter and his underrated corny jokes. And I would always miss his presence.
And the happiest moments of my life was when we make it official, I am his and he is mine. And as I don't want to make other girls get his attention, I put and mark him as mine, as I am very territorial and he willingly obliged. We talked a lot about the future, how many kids he wants us to make and how he wanted to save money for our future kids. To avoid the kind of life we have and to give them all the things we haven't had. We dreamed a lot about the future and plan everything smoothly. He is spectacular and as raging and intense our relationship goes we seem to go far from what I have ever imagined, bend some rules and be willingly crazy for him. I didn't realize we will fail. And just one night of mistake everything we built for our future was gone.
It was as if we've been shattered by a mighty earthquake and all the foundation we've built was swallowed by the earths crust without any precautions. And I was left alone destroyed and devastated. And all the dreams we've made wasn't intended for the both of us. Its just one mistake and every dreams we had, turned out to be wrong. It felt so wrong.
One night like other usual relationship, we just had a misunderstanding, I am talking to him about me going to the city and work, because my family cannot support my education, and I was asked to help my eldest sister to go through college and after that she'll help me and my other siblings to graduate. I choose to help. And Ron disagreed, we had a misunderstanding that led him to consult his best friend, got drunk and both woken up feeling each others arms. And Ron got her pregnant without telling me, but she told me. She told me to spare your kids future, and that she wanted to have her child a complete family. She begged for it. I was lost. When I heard it, it didn't sink in I was like In the deepest dark of the forest. I don't know where to go, except that I know, I will have to choose what is right and what is for the best. It may lead me to destruction, but I won't live worrying about the future of the unborn child.
You came to me, we talked about it and you begged for me to still accept you. That its just one mistake and you can be responsible for the kid while we were building our own family. That you love me too much and it hurts to know that I am willing to give on him. He tried pursuing me. Begged and begged offer that he'll pay everything, hthe kids schools and needs. But my choice remains as it is,I made it clear to him, that it doesn't work that way. The dream was for 'our' kids. And never in my life, I would take away a father from any kid, and as look at him losing control over himself, gone the responsible man I know. I have love Ron and he have love me. Too long, too intense, and my love for him won't matched to anyone. No one could eversurpassed. Some may say I am a hypocrite for not accepting him, and I say those people who'll say that are too shallow, happiness is not constant, and always choosing to be happy will make you crave for more. Being good and doing what is right is what we should perceive, and would led us to peaceful journey throughout our life.
After years, I got married to another lost soul that offer me the realities of life. That love may not exist again the same way I felt it from Ron, but it has a sense of purpose. And every time I look up on him, I say I made a right choice. He may think I still love Ron, I still do, but he didn't know the satisfaction, contentment and warmth feeling I feel whenever he embrace me, I have love him for the best I could, he gives me strength as I give him the light. He is the proof of my right choices. I love him unconditionally. He might love me more but I have love him right.
I haven't heard any of Ron's whereabouts, he went to work abroad, his family would take a vacation every summer, but he never did. And I wished he had been faithful for his marriage and be more responsible.
"I love you" I whisper to my husband, my soul mate, my savior, as I hugged him tight and turned off the light and continue to rest with his side.
Prinsipyo o pag-ibig?
PvsL principle vs love?
T H A N K Y O U F O R R E A D I N G!!!Hope to read your feed back below :)Credits
Thanks to Darius Bashar @dariusbashar for making the lead photo available freely on Unsplash 🎁 https://unsplash.com/photos/eI4jzroujc4
I love this one. And for me, you did the right thing. It is the best to let that child grow with a father, it was not the child's fault, but the adults. First of all , he won't do that, spend the night with another woman if he REALLY loves you. That was so wrong and immature of him. There is also a chance he'll do that again when you get married and have a fight again in the future. Good choice of letting him out of your life.
It's a relief to me that you've learned to love another man that knows your worth better, and you finally find purpose, home, and assurance with him. It's indeed a happy ending after all.
I am not lying when I say I loved this article. A painful phase of life, but God gave ypu better days after the storm. Beautiful. I was really touched.