@Meyzee
more from that month
Marriage in Debt *** Every parent wants the best for their daughter,there's no doubt about that. But demanding for a luxurious marriage when you lack resources is what I don't understand. Neither, I don't question traditional wedding celebrations, and rituals for both the bride and the groom. But loaning or borrowing money for the sake of the grandiose wedding is beyond me. I don't care about all of the wedding whatnot as long as I am not in any way involved but because my Aunt decided to borrow money from me. It's waaaay hard to tell I'm not involved. I was just a regular employee, saving for my future and never did I ever want to put myself in a position where I would loan for the sake of 'wedding' expectations of either my in-laws or family. Or let alone, encourage my Mother and Father to loan for their contributions. If I would even be practical, I would have suggested a civil wedding, be named after my spouse and move on. ***I get that the wedding is a sacred one, or even a once in a lifetime event but would you rather get married peacefully, or get married in debt?*** My cousin, a 'guy' the groom who had been with the 'girl' the bride for more than 6 years, they already had a baby, are living together and are getting married. The bride lives in Santa Cruz Marinduque. And you wouldn't believe it but If your soon to be bride lives there, they celebrate weddings by inviting all of their neighbors, cousins of cousins of cousins. Friends of friends of friends. And even the whole baranggay knows it. **Traditional weddings in Sta.Cruz consists of**. Bring one case of beer as attendees. Not required for special visitors but for family related visitors. Pay for the list, guess, whatever you can afford. They call it bayad-utang. Sabit. It is an act of dance where relatives/family members dance with the groom and the bride and whoever dances with them would put money on their dresses. Tagay(Toast)- It is an act where the bride and the groom ask their relatives for a toast and whoever accepts the toast is required to give money as a tradition. **Here is one example of the traditional TAGAYAN and SABIT.** https://youtu.be/inQTGneeMfA And not only that, we all know that marriage requires celebration and the number of visitors determines the budget for food allocation. As I have mentioned above ***everyone*** is invited. And on traditional weddings the groom's side must fund the food and other expenditures. So my Aunt has already spent money for it and continuously borrowed money because the bride's parents said that the 4 pigs wasn't enough. 😬 Imagine the weight of the pig is 30 to 40 kilos and that is still not enough to sustain the foods for the visitors. 🤷 This may appear as a rant but the traditional wedding of the bride's family is way too luxurious. My other aunt who got married in church didn't spend that much on pigs. Even at my cousin's wedding they only killed two pigs. And what would happen after their marriage celebration? Pay off their debt? 😬 Isn't that money should be used to start a family? I've never met the bride's parents but I think what they are asking was just plainly ridiculous. Was this a wedding celebration or a wedding business paluwagan? 😆 I am never against any wedding traditions. But if you ever want to get married and you know your family's tradition at least make sure you have the funds for it. Or make sure you are marrying the person that can afford your family requirement. 😅 Or make sure to mention with your parents that your soon to be husband don't have enough funds for the entourage and reception your parents dream for you. Also, don't require your parents to spend money for your own wedding. Or loan for the sake of it. And don't use the 'minsan lang naman' card on me. ***This is why I'm gonna die alone. Lol. Haha I'm not compassionate. Lol*** May I also remind you that Marriage is for a longtime commitment not just for a day but for the rest of your life. At least that's how I see it. Hey guys sorry for the whole article rant. 😬 All above statements are base from my personal opinion. And I know we all have different opinion. ;) Thank you for reading this far! I know I am not normal. Lol. Haha. I'm creyzee meyzee. 😬👀 Lead Image Source Thanks to photo nic @chiro for making the lead photo available freely on Unsplash 🎁 https://unsplash.com/photos/Qu-dnz_Kqgw
17 comments
marriage is the most important thing is holiness, sorry if in my belief a holy marriage is held in a church because it requires the laying on of hands by the priest so that the two partners have been bound in a holy covenant to become husband and wife if the problem of the party is actually only a ceremonial event and if the funds are not sufficient it is not no need to make a party indeed sometimes people think this is a once in a lifetime event but is the party the priority or the holy covenant?
I feel the same, with my wedding coming up we are not doing expensive things like some people do. Even if I had unending money I wouldn't use it like that because I would rather have only close friends and family at my wedding day. To invite other people to celebrate the day would feel weird having more or less "strangers" just because they are a cousin, or another part of "family".
Congratulations and best wishes on your upcoming wedding day! These days everything is truly expensive, including marriage. 🙈 I agree that if you want to get married you can still get married even with little funds. Invite small number of people and celebrate. I don't understand the need of inviting everyone l. 🙈
Eto yung sinasabi ko na dapat ang kasal, pinag-iipunan at pinagpa-planuhan. Aside from being sacred, dapat handa ka rin financially. To be honest, yung iba kasing mga Pinoy basta masabi lang na ikakasal ng bongga, kahit galing sa loans yung budget. Tapos problema after. Wag kasi magpakasal ng bongga at yayamanin kapag hindi afford haha. Kaya I'd rather have boyfriends muna bago ikasal.
Kaya nga e noh? Kakakunsumi laang. Haha
Marriage is a social contract for being together as friends forever. The part associated with marriage is a social and family obligation. The marriage party is a business affair and may be avoided, but that requires gut. However, a small gathering with minimal tea/snacks could make it more enjoyable than wasting massive money on a lavish party.
Yes indeed! Tea or a small celebration with those people involved is wayyy better!
Marriage is a sacred ceremony, in my opinion, it doesn't have to be grandeur that people involved are having loans just for the event. I think it's not a good start if debts are already piled up after marriage. It will lead to financial problems in the future. What's more important is that the union of two people is done in a sacred ceremony, the solemnity will be a good start for a peaceful living as husband and wife.
May mga ganyang talaga Kasi yata sa mga ibat ibang province Yung talagang dapat bongga Kasi reputation ng angkan 🤣
Haha kaya nga. Kahit saangvkasalan ganiyan. At talagang anong daming baboy ang inapatay. Haha
Dapat yun lang kaya sa budget sis. Mas maganda nga if maging practical lang. Kung meron pang spend for bongga na wedding, why not sis nuh pero kung wala dapat itama lang din sa budget.
Kaya nga kung ilaan na kang sa school ng baby eh.
Oo sis tama para sa future nalang sana.
Super true, i don't understand it too when brides family demands for more than they can afford. Sad but that's again Filipino mindset to be buried. It's just that many still demands grand wedding over practicality.
Yeah it is absurd right? Like if you can't afford just go along with whatever resources you have. 🤷
Yup, True
Agree with you sis. Me and my husband has a simple wedding. We were so tired because we just make tables made of kawayan, i just make our invitation and souvenir in order to save some. Mangutang is not also an option for us. Mahirap mag umpisa sa married life with more utang... But dont die alone hehehe... You can marry in a simple way.