Overcoming homesickness

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I moved into another place, and I underestimated the changes it would cost me. I couldn't continue with all the stuff I do before I go. I stopped writing and learning. I am at the point where I would want to get back on track, but just the mere thought of it makes me sick. It makes me feel dizzy. It makes me lonely, tired, and like a robot.

Have you ever felt that? You want to do all the stuff again because you think about your future. You know you need to take action, but how? It felt so tiring, suffocating. 

The past few months have been very crucial on my part. I have been at that point where I want to grab people in the streets, ask them to talk to me, and start interactions, conversations, with whoever they are. Just to tell them, I'm fucking here. Just to make sense, to make me feel like I am existing. 

To be honest, it was difficult to go through each day knowing you were alone on an island, barely surviving, and I'm glad the brief visits of familiar people and faces helped me relax for a little while. I feel normal. And after all, I finally feel like I exist. And wherever I am, it is just a temporary place where I can enjoy and make the most of it. Or I could see this as a chance to make it a new home for a living.

I never knew I was capable of feeling that loneliness, different from the things I used to feel. Aside from those feelings of incompleteness, there is also a feeling that you wanted the time for yourself, but it's just new to you and you feel so alone. It's too overwhelming that you cannot adapt so fast because you have been sheltered with family and friends for a very long time and it was not so easy to live each day without anyone.

And both the scariest and best thing about it is that, day by day, you unleash every possible thought and thing you could do alone. You discovered everything about yourself. The little things that matter, the words of affirmation you need, and how you spend your available time. Without any pressure. You are moving too slowly, but you are making progress. 

And I realized then that the power to create whoever you are depends on your decisions, actions, and your capability to accept that it is on you. Within yourself, you create your own future. Both success and failure. You are solely responsible for yourself. Not by anyone. Your emotions and your mind are yours to control. And I swear, when you are at that point, it is easy to be positive at all times.

Moreover, to be able to reach that point, I had to go through the hard process. And I want to share how I overcame it with those who want to move out alone, to another unfamiliar place with foreign people.

Enjoy the excitement. Chill, go out. Spend the day however you want.

The first week is like you are extremely excited. Everything is new to you, and it is bliss. You want to experience this. And you are at the height of your emotions. So you plan ahead of time what you'll do on weekends. You become more excited each day to discover your neighborhood, the market, and the places you can possibly eat out. The first week is okay. You can still get a better night's sleep. Then the 2nd to 3rd week will hit you like crazy. 

You feel like everything is a stranger to you, you feel alone, and you feel like crying. You long for small talk. For me, alcohol has become my best friend, allowing me to sleep better at night. I drank almost every day during the 2nd and 3rd weeks. And when I discover that I have spent a lot of money on it, I suddenly feel guilty and stop.

I realize that I'm here to save more money, not use it to buy alcohol.

Talk to people around you, join in on late-night outings. Or eating out. Learn more about the culture and the people around you.

It took me so long before I did this, as I am an extremely introverted person, and I wasn't really a sociable one. I had to get to know the people around me first before I eventually made interactions.

At first, I thought when I could do it alone, it was okay to do it alone, but when I went out with them, I eventually realized that it was more fun doing it with them. It has benefits and drawbacks. But in times like this, to maintain your mental health, you have to do it with other people too, sometimes, until you get better being alone.

Talk to your parents, friends, siblings, and anyone who makes you feel at ease. Maintain contact.

Make it a habit to call the people you know and ask them how they are. And at least tell a story about how your day went, whom you met, and your struggle. It may not be physical, but it is enough to make you sane.

I usually connect with my parents from time to time. We have a schedule of weekly video calls. Haha. My parents are really supportive. Though we only have video calls once a week, they keep me sane and provide me with the strength to continue my journey.

How to stop doing crazy things?

You have to be more creative. Learn about something new, good food, or watch a Korean drama, anime, documentary, or anything that will divert your attention. To avoid any bad decisions due to emotional instability.

I have had my share of sudden decisions, bad decisions, that I have regretted up until now. But it has brought me a new lesson: do not act without thinking more than twice. Emotions are our enemies, so you should remain calm and collected.

I wanted to add more, but this is taking a lot longer.

For all of the people who are away from their families to earn money, everything will become easier soon. And we don't have to be in this situation our entire life, so we have to save up, create business, in order to be with them.

Make a plan. Reach that goal. We will overcome this soon. And with BCH on our side, we'll get that success we dream of. 💚💚💚

I'm back with more exciting tips, experiences, and lessons to share.

I'm ready. I'm ready to be back!!!

Thank you for reaching this far! I miss you all, guys and gals. Xoxo

 Credits

Thanks to Rowan Heuvel (@insolitus) for making the attached photo available freely on Unsplash. https://unsplash.com/photos/YCVSPCz72Rk

 PS

Always remember, it's okay not to be okay. It is so much more OK to miss home!