No way. I'm not pregnant.

It was a normal Friday morning when I suddenly woke up. I was heading to the fridge to get water when I felt something gushing through my stomach. I felt a little dizzy and nauseated and immediately went to the kitchen sink and threw up.

I was so shocked when I just saw nothing in the sink except a small amount of my saliva. I am having the weirdest vomiting of my life. I opened the cabinet above the sink to get some pain relievers when something caught me off guard. It is already October and my napkins are still 5 packs. It looks like I didn't touch any of it. Where I normally use each pack per month.

I had a cold realization. I count the months when I haven't had my menstrual cycle. It was last August. I remember being sleepy every day for the last three weeks and having an unusual craving for ripe mangoes. I felt terrified. I remember the night I drank my heart out after failing a lot in life. And forget about how conservative I am and give in to one of the most pleasurable things I ever did in life. which, in turn, is the biggest stupidity I've ever committed.

I was shocked for the whole two hours. I walk back and forth in front of the kitchen table. I am wondering what I should do. Should I call and tell him about the baby even if it's clear to us it was just lust? Should I tell my mother? Should I call my sister? Should I tell my friends?

I returned to my bedroom; the lights are off and all you can see is the light from the window, but it is still dark. I started wondering how it happened when we used protection. I was not crazy enough to try it bare. I sit like a child and sulk in the corner of my bed. I don't know exactly what to do.

Yes, I am single, a breadwinner, and living alone in a studio unit. Abortion is not an option. I did it. I have to take full responsibility for it. It's a sin to kill a baby. No, that won't be an option. I'm not a killer. No No. No.

But I have to work. How would I explain it to my boss? I work on site, and they might probably end my contract immediately after knowing it. How would I raise my baby if that happened? I've got savings, yes. But it is only enough for three months. I've got investments that would last for another 9 months. Okay, I should pull that out. Should I just resign? I should tell my mother I will stop sending money!

But what if I am CS? I can't imagine how much it would cost! I hope philhealth and SSS will help me pay the bills! And I can't work right after giving birth. I should have my own diet and exercise routine! So I could avoid CS.

Should I call my mother to make her the baby sitter? So I can work back after giving birth? How the hell I would send the kid to school? I don't have much savings!

I think I'm going crazy with the changes in my life! To think that I haven't even done anything remarkable in life. And I'm going to give someone another life? I frustratedly comb my hair using my fingers. I hated myself for all the wrong decisions that I've made!

Am I ready for the truth? I should stand up and get ready. I have to consult a doctor to see if my baby is okay. I can still remember that I walked a lot up stairs!

Oh god! It's friday! I have work!

Hey

As random as the picture above I saw this question on facebook and since I don't have a topic for today I have to make a story about it. Also, share how I would be frustrated if I found out that I'm pregnant. 🤣 That was me talking a lot with myself and how would I deal with it.

Clearly, I'm not ready! And I'm an overthinker!

And yes the title is true, no way! I'm not pregnant!  🤣 Coz yikes, I have never been drunk and give in to lust. Uhmm yet. 😹 Charring.

So how would you deal it if it was you that got pregnant?