How do you respond to criticism?

For some reasons, I am writing an article, to know your response on how I write my articles and which article is your favorites and why do you read my article, or what do you hate about it, or what is lacking. I cannot promised that I won't be hurt by it, but I will whole heartedly accept what I am missing on my article, for me to improve! Honest opinion is only tolerated! No flowery words please! Haha. See this haha is the one thing I should refrain from typing.

But before that, let me asked you a thing, how do you respond to criticism?

Prior to that, let me tell you that criticism, has two types, its either constructive or destructive. Though both might points out the same mistakes or action, they have different approach.

Constructive criticism is when someone tells you directly, honestly a certain thing that you lack of, or something your doing unhealthy, that needs of improvement. It is usually followed with the action you needed to do. It can be either at home, at work, in a relationships and can also happen in a social media platforms.

For example;

I am living with my girl friends though the one is not really a girl but girl by heart. We are three in the house. I didn't know but I always forgot to unplug all the devices that are running on the house until my friend mentioned it. Heres how he told me.

"Uy girl, lagi mo nakakalimutan tangalin sa saksakan yung electric fan. Baka magkasunog tayo. Paki bunot naman bago ka umalis ikaw pa naman nahuhuli umalis ng bahay."

Hey girl, you forgot to unplug the electric fan again. You know, it might create fire when we're not home. Please always unplug it before you go to work, because you always leave the last.

If you will look at the approached of my friend, he points out exactly what I did was wrong and followed by the action I needed to do. Sometimes, we didn't know we are doing it wrong, that we needed someone to noticed it, for us to know we are doing the wrong way. So if you noticed that someone is doing it the wrong way, you are allowed to criticize and make sure you know the rules and what is wrong and what needs to be improved and approached them constructively.

Or to relate it to these platform, one of the example is plagiarism,

We see many people who spam the site with their unending copy paste and to your surprise it received a much better tips from the rewarder and we know that it is bad in the platform. How do you tell it to someone who copy paste --in the right way?

Simply we can do things in order to not harm the platform, if you see that the person has done it once, comment on his/her article, you can make it as a joke, like, "Hey I think, I have read this article somewhere, I like most of your article, but please refrain from copying others work." attached the proof.

And if the author wanted to stay on the platform they will take action. If they don't they do not really care, then you shouldn't care about them too, you can submit on read cash email and report or you can seek help from your friends from doing a report too, or on social media because plagiarism is a strong crime! Simple and easy.

Destructive criticism it is the way you say your opinion where you make someone lose their self-esteem, questioning their self worth, and even losing the interest on what they are doing, or what they used to love. It contains bad words and might create a bad impact on ones human being.

For example;

"You're content is nonsense." 
"You are not good enough."
"This work is a piece of shit"
"When can you do it right?"
"I am paying you for nothing!"
"You're ugly"
"You don't look good in that haircut"
"You're fat"
"You're a bitch"
And if we will convert my friends 
Approached to destructive it will be 
Like this,
"You are so dumb, you always forgot
to unplug the electric fan! What if 
our house get burn?"

Notes : these are generic words but
I am sure I've heard them!

And there's many more. See these things can make anyone lose their will to do things right. And asking for their self worth. Am I never enough? Kamahal mahal ba ako? Or they can result to something more bad.

How to respond to criticism?

Know if it is constructive or destructive.

If constructive, assess yourself, did you really do it wrong, or will you learn from it? If you did, accept it. Don't make your self a victim. Admit it and change whats needed to be change. And you will gain from it, you will grow from it. And you will be surprise!l, how these changes will affect your whole being. And always don't forget to say thank you for positive criticism! Meaning these people care for you and is willing to help you to become the best you can be.

If destructive, stay away around these people who make you question yourself. It may sounds cliché but still, just don't listen to them. Ignore those words. Don't validate what they were saying. Or it will become your way to live up of the expectation of others or it might destroy your whole being. Me, when I think I am receiving destructive criticism, If someone would says I am bitch, I'd say Fuck you or You too or simply ignore em. Or If someone says I am not good enough I evaluate, and If I have given my best, I think it is the line where I should establish an exit.

In line with this we know we are all people and we can't help but criticize others. It is in the nature of human, but how can we make it right?

Let me share you these quoted phrases I have read here,

Sometimes, our lips move faster than our brains that we forget how offensive we can be. It’s important to tell the criticism to yourself first and see how you’d take it before you say it. Like they say, keep your words sweet just in case you have to eat them.

By Lord of the Nerds, Criticisms: Constructive vs. Destructive written 7 years ago.

Critisize but do not make it to demean others! Do it the right way! Like the quoted phrase above we shall tell it on ourselves first, to feel if we would be hurt if we receive such criticism or not or if, it is worth it to tell.

Critisize but do not do it in front of many people. In my work, whenever I saw my workers --always on the phone, I make sure to talk to them in the office rather than saying it in front of many people, with of course consequences followed. I would less them an hour or so if they would continue to do it. Or sometimes when I am already fueled with anger and stress, I make it as a joke, like, "Oh, sop na ata yan ah!" or if they are playing ML, "Can I join you guys? What rank are you?". Or if they are watching tiktok, "Whose boobies are you watching now guys? Wow everything's done smoothly ah!" Though it wasn't!

Critisize but don't do it on public social media without the knowledge of the person you are criticizing or others might call you an attention seeker or a self-centered person, or others might be irritated of you. And always think first before saying a word! I always want to say what I thought on social medias because I can think properly of the words I would say. You see on socials you are allowed to erase your thoughts, your angered thoughts, and you can see what is wrong with it and correct it. Thanks to drafts we can edit words! Thanks to social media we can edit our thoughts! Always remember, what you have written on social medias will remain copied or it can be screen shot and it can be used against you!

Ending it here! Please add up if I missed something!

I know I do also criticize others and have done it bad too! And by this time, I do an exercise to help my angered words fly away, its counting 1 to 10 and breathing in and out at the same time. Concerned reminder, I think I have read these somewhere and I forgot where so credits to whoever you are, We aren't good at one thing if we aren't bad at one!

Back to my first paragraph, I am looking forward to your response senpais'! What do I need to improve? Hehe! Let us see who learned the differences of constructive and destructive criticism!

Thanks to Dollar Gill @dollargill for making (the lead image) this photo available freely on Unsplash 🎁 https://unsplash.com/photos/7BB3n68RUQs

Thank you for reading!

Love you to be bored,

Meyzee