Crushes and Rejection

Did you have a crush and though you didn't admit intentionally that 'you crush him/her', and he/she have come to know it, you still get rejected?

Well I do. But my defense, crush is just a stupid name for admiration. Like I admire you, for being brave, for being cute, for being you. But that doesn't mean I want to do anything with you. Lol. Weeew. That was before I never knew what crush was and here's the story of the young, naive, careless, stupid Meyzee.

It started with that Slum book that I hated.

Oh are you familiar with the slumbook? I never really like that thing. I wouldn't missed it even. So the story begun when that damned thing has been out, and the first year of high-school is almost over. Many of my classmates are very sentimental, each has send me a slum book to answer. And the thing is, if you leave the answer blank, they will give it back to you. And you can't leave that crush blank alone. I mean you could put, too many to mention, but the tease of my friends of always mentioning that those who don't have crush is abnormal, or those that has many crushes is flirt or malandi. Thats the trend then, I don't know now.

Who is your crush?

My world freeze and I had an after shock when I first read the question on that slum book. Who is your crush? I really didn't know that by that time. I was just, 10 going 11? So I asked my classmates. By definition of my classmates it is the one whom you admire. The thing is I don't pay attention to people around me, I mean I still think I am a kid! Even until now! Lol. The only thing I think then, is how can I beat my cousins in jack stone and I was so into playing cards and tex! So due to the rules of do not leave it blank. I had to think of someone that fits the definition. So the crush, should be admirable, so he have to be talented, smart and on top 10 of the class. Well that should be right, right? That was the kid me, talking. So I choose one of the achiever on class. Wrote his name with his initials so no one would have the slightest idea who he is. I remember the teasing could be that shameful. Besides, I am super dugyot and well you know, ugly, back then, till now! Eherm, so I wrote JJChvz. Looks like he wouldn't know right? Right?

Why do you like your crush?

I really hated that essay part. But I still answer. And to tell you honestly, I said that because his top of the class. I mean that was supposed to be the reason right? And by answering that questions, I also hope that he wouldn't know that I crush him. Lol. Thats unnoticeable right? I mean I am super naive to think that my classmates wouldn't noticed it. JJChvz and top of the class. Its like you have to know this! Lol.

How I got rejected.

Writing it on that slum book, is like admitting it to the person whom you put on the answer. You know, every other person who signed up that book would have read your answer, and if they did really go through your profile. Everyone on the class would know it! And I am too ashamed when I heard the news that my coded name for him did not hide the truth and it did come to his knowledge. I was like, I should have put different codename!

And the best part of my first year was when one time I passed by in their front, where he and his friend used to stay during breaks or recess. They teased me.

"Oy diba crush ka niyan ni *insert my surname*" said lloyd the freaking asshole of the group. Haha. Well he really is an ass!

"Huh? Magka aids pa ako jan e!" My crush replied!

And they all laugh! To my horror! What a basstards!

I mean, I thought he is one of the top on class? I feel rejected but at the same time, I feel betrayed. He really is on the top of the class? Haha. But yah, that first crush went away so easily.

I must say, I did once believe that when you got a crush, you'll get aids! Lool! Well that was the young, naive, careless, stupid Meyzee.

Rejections

I might got rejected but at least I got to know who he is. I mean the 'aids' part that was really hilarious! Phones back then aren't allowed so I guess we are all have pure minds! And aids is the growing disease back then. And there were many news about it and we are all afraid. Sex education, wasn't that introduced, so maybe we really have pure minds then! HAHAHA!

Well high school is the fresh years of life I should enjoy. I did, I think. Lol. Had another crush on 2nd year, but didn't wrote it on that stupid slum book anymore. And after that things happened, nothing more. I started to become a man hater. Lol! Char and I got too focused on studying. Well I still admire tv host or actors same with actresses, talented individuals, not to the point of having their posters and such.

And heres what I thought by growing up, seeing people crying over break up, cutting wrist, getting their lives at stake because they love too early. Someones cheating, getting rejected. And it all had me this ideas that, I will only be wasting my time on that field. Or like 'spare me of more rejections and heartaches!' I decided to just let the time decide for me. No ones rushing! And with my state today, I wouldn't wanna marry anyway!

Credits

Thanks to those brave girls. You all inspires me to write this!

• YOU ARE BRAVE!

Thanks to Jakayla Toney @jakaylatoney for making the lead image available freely on Unsplash 🎁 https://unsplash.com/photos/iTiXvQw91nE

Haha. There you go I was once a girl. Lol!

Loving you bored!

The Silly Meyzee

Ps. Liking someone is like investing, invest what you can afford to lose! Hahaha 😂