I haven't written an article in over a week, and I had several ideas for a new article. I had two, actually.

On the 20th of August, Friday, we had a national holiday of Hungary, celebrating the anniversary of the founding of the Kingdom of Hungary. It was essentially the 1021th birthday of my country, so naturally, it was a holiday, a work-free day. Yet, I was somehow oblivious to it, and accidentally clocked in for two hours, wasting two hours of precious free time. Luckily, as I looked on the calendar, I realized my mistake, clocked out immediately, and went on with my day, as if it was the weekend. That day, I considered writing an article about the "horror of work", and how much I detest a certain coworker of mine, how his very existence, the sight of his face fills me with dread, how I almost have a heart-attack every single time he contacts me. In the end, I did not write that article - "too whiny", I thought, and besides, I would have been defiling our national holiday by writing such an article on such a sacred day.

On the very same day, I had an alternative idea for an article too. The other article I considered writing would have been a followup to "Sunday Evening Musings: Education and Employment", where I, would have coined a new term - "unworking" - as something analogous to "unschooling". I didn't write that article either, but I might do it later (and I did).

I also realized, that it's been a long time since I last wrote an article about programming, computers, video games or cryptocurrency, and fans of those articles of mine might not appreciate the fact that I'm more or less moving into the anti-work niche. So, eventually, I will have to write an article that is neither political nor anti-work, nor personal. But that day is not today.

So instead, today, I decided to write an article about my own ideological journey, revealing my embarrassing past to all (and revealing that, much to the cancel culture mob's dismay, I don't have an impeccable or immaculate past), and how I went from an edgelord extremist to someone who just wants to chill and not-work.

A word of warning - I am going to describe the political views I held in the past, not present. I obviously disavow the views I held in the past. I hope this doesn't need repeating.

In the beginning, there was edginess

It's terribly easy to hold edgy views, while you live rent-free in the safety of Hotel Mama, where food is free for you (but not for your mama, who has to buy it), and your only real worry is what does your mother say - even if you yourself are approaching your thirties. And while as of the time of writing this article, I still haven't moved out of the birthgiving nest yet, I came to understand how ridiculous my past views would be, if applied to the real world, where one has to fend for himself.

Ah yes, the political compass. The favourite toy of people who make memes about politics, and the bane of every serious political scientists. It divides politics along two axes (Libertarian vs Authoritarian, Left vs Right), resulting in four quadrants to make stereotype: the Auth-Left as Stalinists (more or less correct), the Auth-Right as Fascists/Nazis (even though realistically, their economical policy would make them Auth-Center, we'll let it slide), the Lib-Right as Anarcho-Capitalists and Ephebophiles, and the Lib-Left as LGBT. The Auth-Left is into cult of personality, the Auth-Right is into incest (because racial purity), the Lib-Right is really into money (and teenagers), the Lib-Left is really into people of their own sex. At least, that's what the stereotypes say.

Between 2008 and 2013 I more or less started as Auth-Center, or even slightly Auth-Left. I was basically a Nazbol without knowing what Nazbol is. I admired both far-right and far-left leaders - I was a Nationalist, and I wanted to nationalize all industries to prevent foreign businessmen from having political influence. It wasn't a very coherent view, but apparently, many still hold such views.

After 2013, I began my journey to the southeast - I simultaneously started going both right and libertarian, albeit until 2017, I was still firmly in the Auth-Right zone. I was re-educated on the horrors of Communism, I read up on the economical failures of Socialism, etc. So, I became a pro-market Nationalist, who saw the key to national success in slightly regulated free-market capitalism. Again, at the time, I was a college student living rent-free in Hotel Mama (my mother's house), having never worked a single day in my life before - so naturally, I thought I'd be able to bear with it once the day comes, since everyone else seems to bear with it.

In some time around 2017 and 2018, I made a huge leap towards the southeast, effectively becoming a Libertarian, or even Anarcho-Capitalist (as a joke). The real reason was the revelation that Authoritarianism is... well, anti-freedom. And I love freedom. I didn't start identifying as a Libertarian because I was mortified by the mere thought of subsidizing the my neighbour's healthcare with my tax money, but because I considered (and still consider) Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Expression and the right to bear arms to be sacred (this may be perfectly normal in America, but not so much in my Hungary, in Europe, where guns are banned and freedom of speech is eroding). To an extent, I always considered them sacred, but until then, I didn't realize how incompatible those values are with Authoritarianism of any kind. The nail in the coffin for my support for Authoritarianism was when my former friends went on about wanting to kill pornographers and ban pornography. This pushed me down to the lib-side. I severed my ties with the Auth-Right / Far-Right.

Now, as I said before, it's easy to hold edgy views while you live rent-free in Hotel Mama and never had to work a single day in your life. And the same can be said with holding Libertarian or Anarcho-Capitalist views. It's easy to be a Social Darwinist or Laisez-Faire Capitalist advocating for the abolition of welfare, when you live rent-free in your mother's basement, never having any financial troubles, the food and electricity coming free, etc.

Back to the center?

Then came the dreaded birthday, the day my world collapsed, the day I might as well have died. 26th of June, 2020.

I failed college. Six failures, I was out. On my birthday. As I stated in a previous article of mine, what should have been the demolition of the last obstacle standing between me and my college degree, instead became a black mark in my calendar. That day, will forever live in infamy, at least for me.

Sure, I re-applied to college and got accepted back, but my money was running out, so I had to find a job to pay tuition fee. Luckily, I still lived - and as of the time of writing the article - still live rent-free in Hotel Mama, which means I can just save my money for a rainy day, after paying tuition.

I got my first job on the 4th of August. Me and my mother were expecting the worst. We figured that without a diploma, the best job I can get is being an assembly-line factory worker. Much to our surprise, I became a software developer. My dream job, right?

Well, if you've been reading my articles, you know how quickly I became miserable. I immediately began resenting the 9-to-5, the commutes, the fact that commutes turned my de-jure 8-hour workdays / 9-to-5 into de facto 12-hour workdays / 7-to-7, while I was criminally underpaid (153 000 HUF = 437.60 EUR or 512.43 USD per month). Sure, costs of living are much lower in Hungary, so you may want to mentally multiply my salary by three, but still, for a software developer, this is terrible (from the October of 2020 they allowed me to work from home, and in the January of 2021, they raised my salary to 200 000 HUF = 572 EUR / 670 USD per month, which is still horribly low).

Again, I made the mistake of assuming that my reaction to this torture would be the same as everyone else's - everyone else seems to bear with it and consider it perfectly fine, so I'll probably find it okay too, right? RIGHT?! I underestimated my own eccentricity, my unique background, and the fact that I never worked at all before. 28 years of being sheltered from the terrible reality, only for reality come slap me in the face with full strength, and my response was growing resentment. "This isn't life" I thought. "This is torture" I thought.

That was the time I seriously began to re-evaluate my worldviews. I dropped the edgy stuff: who cares about national pride, when I am a slave working 40 hours per week for a pittance?! Who cares about purity, when I barely have time to catch my breath after work?!

I lived such an easy life before, and now I began to understand why people don't care much for Nationalism. Capitalism too became unappealing to me, albeit I didn't realize that until much later. Heck, even when writing my first article on this site four months ago, I was still identifying as Libertarian, when clearly, I was no longer one at that point.

One month into being a wageslave, I revisited politicians I previously disparaged. I binge-watched debates between Andrew Yang and Ben Shapiro on my free time, I read Jack London's Iron Heel, I read Bob Black's Abolition of Work, etc. My resentment, my hatred towards the very concept of work began to overpower and overshadow all of my previous political views. I cared not about the abstract matters of the world, I cared (and still care) for only one thing: freedom (from work, from forced labour).

Sure, we could argue, that at the end of the day, I'm just a spoiled child who resents reality and wants to return to the good old days of browsing the Internet till 3 AM, waking up at 11 AM, having lunch and spending the rest of the day petting his cat, playing video games and browsing the Internet. However, it's still pretty clear, how the views of a person change based on what affects them: before 2020, I had an easy life, so I could waste my time arguing with strangers about all sorts of abstract stuff that barely effects our lives. Now I argue with strangers about very real, down-to-Earth stuff that has a very real effect on my life.

It's easy to say that I'm just a lazy jackass who wants free ****, but anyone who reads my articles knows, that there is more to it than that. Yes, I am a lazy jackass who wants free stuff, but I also spent a good deal of my free time delving into various philosophical and political works that justify my belief, and came to the realization, that my views are what most people believe deep-down, or would believe, if it wasn't for the social conditioning.

I wrote plenty of anti-work articles so far, to explain what my ideology is now. But to sum it up: I want us to maximize automation, to put (forced) human labour into the museum, and implement Universal Basic Income. After that, secondary priority would be my belief in Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Expression, right to bear arms and freedom to do whatever you want with your body, whatever drugs. Third would be Nationalism, I guess.

All these things are correlated. There can be no true Freedom of Speech or Expression if your survival depends on your continued employment by someone who can fire you at any moment for any reason (including the outrage of the woke mob), and likewise, you're not going to have much of a National(ist) Renaissance if everyone is constantly busy being a wageslave. Ergo, if anything, to be truly Libertarian and truly Nationalist, you have to be anti-work.

This means that I cannot be truly classified on the political compass. Lib-Left would consider me a "fascist" for not subscribing to their woke ideology. Lib-Right would consider me a Socialist/Communist for supporting UBI and hating work. Auth-Right would consider me a "degenerate liberal" for not wanting to curtail gay rights or ban pornography. Auth-Left would consider me a "Capitalist bourgeoisie" for not wanting to cease the means of production. But I can't be called a Centrist either, because I'm very much a political extremist extremely distant from the current status quo.

Criticism of my past views: Authoritarianism

The biggest issue with Authoritarianism of any kind the complete lack of guarantee that the authoritarian/totalitarian powers won't be abused. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and once you go down the path of authoritarianism, it's hard to get out of it.

Don't get me wrong. I do realize that there are nuances to everything. A dictator could potentially do great things with his dictatorial powers, and no doubt that there may have been some benevolent dictators in history, like Lee Yuan Kew and Simon Bolivar. Hell, for a long time in my life - even when I identified as a Libertarian - I held the view that a dictablanda ruled by a well-intentioned and wise benevolent dictator who respects personal freedoms is preferrable to a democracy where most of the electorate are easily misled and would gladly sell their freedoms for empty promises.

The only problem with this hopelessly naive belief of my self is that such a system would only last for a single generation, as it would require the dictator to be a literal saint, and any successors would no doubt be just regular human beings with human flaws that turn may be benign in an ordinary citizen, but manifest as absolute monstrosities when contained within people with political powers.

A dictator could theoretically use his dictatorial powers to do great things for a country, build up the economy, protect civil liberties, etc. but in reality, most dictators end up being self-serving, corrupt and abusive. It's hard to resist the temptation to use your powers for evil and selfish purposes. If you made my 2006 self a dictator, he would have straight-up banned several genres of music!

Then there is the fact, that humans absolutely detest surveillance, censorship and interference. They may say "law-abiding citizens have nothing to fear, höhö", but in reality, even law-abiding citizens will be inexplicably shaking in fear for an unknown reason.

In theory, you could make a dictablanda work, if you combined it with a strong culture of vigilance, where dictators are made to understand that their power comes from the people. In reality, it just wouldn't work, or would maybe work for one generation at best, before it would degenerate into a complacent mass whose response to dictatorial abuse would be "me ne frego" (I don't care).

Authoritarianism is essentially based on the idea, that humans are fundamentally evil, and thus need to constantly policed. But who will police the policemen?

Criticism of my past views: Libertarianism

Now, I agree with Libertarians on many things: Freedom of Speech is ought to be held sacred, Freedom of Expression ought to be held sacred, citizens should be allowed to bear arms, citizens should be free to put whatever drugs they want inside their body if they want, etc.

According to Libertarians, I may agree with them on several things, I don't understand why they support it (or some other complex philosophical and pseudo-intellectual mumbo jumbo), but I don't care: I don't want to be censored, I don't want to be put to death or into prison for mere words that hurt no one, therefore Free Speech is good, simple as. Keep it simple, stupid.

Nevertheless, I disagree with (Right-)Libertarians on economics.

It is my opinion, that Libertarians live in a fantasy land, an idealized version of our reality, where the free market magically eliminates evil, where the free market punishes abusive bosses, companies that underpay or overwork employees, etc.

Except that that doesn't happen in reality. If you are an unhappy, overworked and underpaid worker working for an ill-reputed company, chances are, you don't really have other options. You may or may not have already tried jumping ship and going to work at another company, but they didn't hire you. If you simply quit, and you didn't find a new job super-fast, that would be a freefall into extreme poverty or starvation. Again, Libertarianism makes a lot of false assumptions, operating on the false assumption of perfectly informed human beings that will always act on their best interest, on the false assumption of the free market punishing toxic behavior and rewarding virtue, on the false assumption of the free market being free in the first place (rather than being constantly manipulated by forces on the top, be it governments, hedge funds, oligarchs, etc.), etc.

The kind of fantasy world that libertarians live in just doesn't exist. Most people don't have the option to create their own business. Most people don't have better job prospects. For most people, it's a binary choice between a shitty job and death by starvation. The freedom of choice is an illusion, when the property rights of the top 1% are held to a higher priority than the personal liberties of the remaining 99%.

If Libertarians actually wanted the world to look like what they're describing - you having the freedom to quit your job at any time, and look for a better one, because the free market provides a better alternative - they'd be pro-UBI, because UBI would be a perquisite of creating a world where the employers' monopoly on the key to your survival would stop distorting and manipulating the free market. But no. most Libertarians are vehemently anti-UBI, because it's statist, because it's wealth redistribution, etc.

Libertarianism operates on the false assumption that humans are good, but if we removed all regulations and let people loose on the world, what would be the end result? An overpolluted hellhole and slavery. I can no longer identify with such a suicidal ideology.

Conclusion

You always take things for granted, and only start to appreciate them, when they are gone, or when someone threatens to take them away.

I identified myself with a totalitarian ideology, because I took my freedoms and liberties for granted, and only started drifting away to a different ideology when I saw the supporters of the ideology for what they were. I saw their true colours, wanting to ban everything I love. So I jumped ship.

I identified myself with a libertarian ideology, because I took the safety nets and social programs that the state provides for granted, and because I underestimated my own hatred for work, my own personality.

When I finally had to face reality, I dropped the old ideologies, and embraced the fact, that I never wanted any of this. All I ever wanted was for my childhood to continue into eternity. Work is a literal torture for me, but to be an adult is to work, unless you are super-rich- therefore, I resent being an adult.

Day after day, I peel off the social indoctrination, and gain bravery to expose my true self, my honest self.