The Book of February

I have been hiding the deepest regrets and pain I had in my life that when grief asked for a company, I always stayed by its side and never left. I know life won’t always fall somewhere we expected – it’s unfair, though I have been trying to make it fair and square for a long time, I’ve never won.
I didn’t know what I was doing but maybe I really did grow because now I can talk about it and I can now also admit my mistakes. It took a long of self-blaming and hopeless days and nights; I almost thought I wouldn’t make it where I am right now, but I am here, writing these words with so much desire to be better and heal from the past.

I wasn’t sure of the path I’m taking; I was lost and I’m proud to say that I’m the one who found myself. I may not be as whole like when I was younger but I’ve learned lots of things. I am setting my walls high again and I finally feel better being alone in this world where people make each other useful for their own sake and only work at time that it’s convenient for them.

I started this year great and now I’m beginning another book because January has passed and here I am standing tall. January was full of brave and beautiful things. It was tiring but the rollercoaster ride was dipped in unexpected excitement that keeps me going.

Like the purple and pink skies on a fabulous afternoon when the sun sets to the west, I want my February to be that way as well.

Aside from that:

Clearer perspective. My urge to see the world in a deeper sense also brings meaning to my life.

Learn more. If I have the chance, I’d like to learn all throughout my life with all the things that the world can offer. This February, I’ll make time for that.
Creative works. I’ve been focused on creating handmade items, let’s see what else I can do. It never hurts to explore. Curiosity is my sickness and I knowledge is the medicine.

Tidier place. Nice environment equates to a better mindset and decision making. I’ve got to change some habits and replace them with better ones – something that I’ll thank myself for.

Healthier routine. Maybe I could start with being mindful in taking my vitamins everyday which I often forget. Then maybe I should push longer hours of sleep on my schedule.

Better relationships. My circle is small because I like it that way and I am also an introvert, however, I want to keep that circle good for all of us – healthy and surviving.

Things may go the wrong way but I always remind myself that I can make another way if I really want to. Here’s to a wonderful month of February! Cheers to our little victories from the past month and I hope we learn from our little mistakes too.
Let’s try to do more than just survive, but if we can’t, it’s alright – there’s tomorrow waiting for us.