Some people tend to say that "Love isn't something you find. Love is something that finds you". How can you say you're in love? Will your world really stop when you see your "The One"? Does love really needs a happy ending?
Im not sure if what I've experienced before can be called first love. Back when I was in first year high school, my friends always called me 'man hater' because I don't talk to men unless it's all about studies. Maybe that time I'm too focused on my studies. It's my top priority. My friends don't believe that I'm not a man hater and they said that they only believe me if I show my crush. I don't have crush that time but I want them to stop teasing me so I pointed the man who I first so to the corridor.
"He's my crush". I said to them and they can't believe because the person I pointed is my best friend's cousin. I thought they will stop teasing me but it became worst. That time I want to take back my words but it's too late because my best friend already said it to her cousin. I can only say that "I'm totally dead".
Until someone text me and said " Hey , do you really have a crush on me?" I know it's Mark but then I replied " Who you?" "Where did you get my number?" " Do I know you?" Some of you might think that I'm playing hard to get but actually I didn't because I don't really have a crush on him. He replied "It's Mark ,your crush". I said to him the whole story about that and he said that he already knows that but he still texting me because he wants to befriend with me. I think it's really okay so I said yes.
A months had passed and we still communicating each other. Sometimes he went to my classroom and he bring snacks. Our classmates really thought that we are dating. I admit for the 6 months we've do this, I starting to fall for him . But I choose to hide this because I'm too young for that.
I'm so nervous and excited to see him everyday. I guess that's the feeling of being in love. Until one day, he asked me if he can court me for real. Honestly I'm happy that time but I refuse because I know that my parents will be mad on me. My parents is strict about that and I really understand them. I know that parents knows best to their children.
" Mark actually I like you too but I don't think it's the right time for that. We are still young and we should focus to our studies". He smiled at me and he said that he understand. But after that day, everything had changed. He ignores me when we see each other. He even block my number. I guess I really hurt him and I'm so sorry for that. Did I really became selfish to him? I like him but I choose to focus to more important things.
After three months, I've heard that he had a girlfriend. I'm being honest, it really hurts seeing your man happy with another girl. But I should not be selfish to him, he deserves to be loved. I'm happy that he met the girl that makes him happy. Finally, I think that I can move on from him.
Now, I can say that I'm happy to the path that I choose before. I'm also happy because he finally met his forever because he got married last month. I want to say thank you to him for being my safe haven for a short period of time. I hope that I can also find my "The One" when the time is right.
Love is not only about happy ending. Sometimes it's better to let go your love one in order for both of you to grow as a person. Love is also about sacrifice ,we should know to what extent we must fight. It's better to let go someone you love rather than staying with him even though you know you can't give the love he deserves. Fighting for is not always the right thing to sometimes letting go is the best decision you can give to your love.