Yesterday I wasn't able to write anything because my mind was too occupied. Maybe I was overthinking too much about everything. Also, our president message us that in the following days, we gonna enrolled for the upcoming Semester. Honestly, after reading the message, I felt mixed emotions. Somehow I'm happy because I'm about to start a new journey as a 3rd year college but I also felt nervous because maybe those struggles happen again. Even it's my third time to experience online class, still it's not easy.
Year 2020 when the online classes started. At first I'm so excited because I thought it is more easy than face to face classes. But I'm definitely wrong. Online classes is more stressful than the usual class. I'd also face many problems like the internet connection. Sometimes , I can't attend to my class because of it. I don't know why but I'm also get nervous every online recitation even I know the answers. It seems that they are too focus on what I'm gonna say. Plus the factor that some of our professors is really strict. Some of them will say " If you don't have stable connection , you'd better not to attend in my class" or " It's not my problem , it's yours". Like duhh, we're here in the Philippines were the internet connection is so slow like a turtle. But of course , we can't said that to them. Sometimes, it's really unfair that if the professor has no internet connection, it is okay that they are absent but if the students has no internet connection , they didn't consider it. Somehow, I felt blessed and lucky because we have the internet connection well.
On the other side, I'm so sad because I heard that some of our classmates will not enroll for the new semester. I can't deny that even we are in free tuition , we also need some money to support our studies. One of them said to me that her family can't really support her because her parents also needs to provide their primary needs. While some of them don't have their own gadgets that will be needed to online class. There is also cases that some students got depressed because of the online class. It's really heart breaking because we all know that they don't really want to stop.
Actually even myself can't really focus on online class unlike the f2f classes. There are so many destructions. Sometimes you will hear more the barking of the dogs and the crowning of the rooster. It's very annoying sometimes because I can't understand well what our professor said. Also, cheating is really rampant in online class. Honestly, I had a friend that asked me why I'm still studying too hard even it's only online class and it's more easy to cheat. She even admit that she and her other friends always cheat during the examination. I can't judge her because I also admit that sometimes I'm tempted to cheat especially when I saw that their scores is higher than mine. But I have a principle that " It is better to get low score than a perfect one at least you are honest to yourself". I don't want to hypocrite but every time I tried to cheat, I got really nervous and guilty. There are a moment in my life that I cheated on my exam once. I got a perfect score actually that time but I think that I don't deserve that score. Because I'm so guilty, I talked to my teacher and said to her that I cheated. I even said that I deserves a zero score because I don't make an effort to that. Since then, I promise to myself that whether there is so much temptation , I'll be honest to myself. Also, I don't want to be labeled as "cheater". In online class, you can't really tell who did an effort to study.
But on the other hand, I also think that we should adopt the changes. We belong to the Digital World so as a student , we should also learn how used the online platform in studies and other aspects. I also believe that even we back on our normal life, there is still some schools and universities that will still implement online classes. If we see through, online class is not really burdensome because it can also contribute learnings to the students. It's a matter of effort, motivation and hardwork of both students and teachers to teach and to be learn.
Online class really change the way we adopt knowledge and the way we learn. Actually, it has both positive and negative attributes. It's tiring so it's okay to rest sometimes but don't forget to work again. I admit that it's never been easy but look at you now, even it's hard you can still overcome those struggles. Just continue to exert effort and always believe on yourself that you can absolutely do it. For all students out there, I'm rooting to you and I know that you can succeed. Padayon future successor. ❣️
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