I'm still Dancing with your Ghost

I woke up from a nap with an uneasy feeling. I don't want to wake up yet. I want to enjoy the moments with you even I know that it's just in a dream. I really miss you now. Can you come to me now cause I want to hug you tight? I don't have a choice but to accept the fact that you are gone now. Even I don't want to, I woke up to the bed and just open the radio besides me.

Even the radio can sense my feelings huh. Every lyrics hits me that hard. I know this song because I often listen to it when I'm obsessed to be depressed. I'm dancing with your ghost is the title of this track. I guess that it's personally written for me.

Yelling at the sky

Screaming at the world

Baby, why'd you go away?

Since you left me, I did nothing but to go to our favorite place. It's still the same, you can still feel the cold breeze and the strong lash of the waves. The place where we want to watch the sunset everyday but I can't imagine that today I'm here alone with a long face . I can't do anything but to reminisce all the memories before. Why you leave me unprepared? I told ever since that I don't want a surprise but still you give the biggest surprised on my life. I want to blame the world for being selfish to us. We became happy once but I didn't expect that it turns to sorrow forever. Indeed, life is very unpredictable.

I'm still your girl

Holding on too tight

Head up in the clouds

Heaven only knows

Where you are now

I'm still your baby girl that needs a comfort and support from you. I know that you are peacefully rest there but why do I feel like you're still here asking for some help. I miss those words coming unexpectedly from your mouth. You are the first person who became proud to me. You are the one who make sure that I can cope up to the miserable world that I face. I'm longing for your "I love you" and "I miss you". Can you make some time to visit me here?

How do I love

How do I love again?

How do I trust

How do I trust again?

I don't know where and when to start to move on. You said that you never leave me but what did you do? You left me without saying a thing. You left me in times that I needed you the most. You left me and I can't do anything but to cry over and over again. I'm so tired to pretend that I'm okay because I'm not. I'm too tired to pretend that I'm totally healed even though I can feel the wounds inside of me. I thought you are the only one who keeps the promises but like them, your promises meant to be broken. You promise that you will be here until I become a successful one. You promise me that you'll gonna swipe my tears. So, where are you now? How pitiful am I right? I tried my best to comfort myself and said that I'm alright but it seems that my anxiety is greater than my strength. I totally broken and I don't know how to fix this broken pieces of mine.

Wait 'til I hear our song

Every night I'm dancing with your ghost

Every night I'm dancing with your ghost

I can still hear the song that you often sing to me. I always imagine that you were here dancing with me. I saw you last night, smiling at me.Watching me to sleep. I'm so happy till I realize that it's only my imagination. You're now a ghost so maybe I can dance with you. I'm not afraid if I will give a chance to do that because I'm more afraid to wake up another morning without you at my side.

Never got the chance

To say a last goodbye

I gotta move on

But it hurts to try

Believe me or not , I try to move on but I can't. I end up losing myself again. How long will I be like this? I want to live like how we used to be. But I can't because everytime I close my eyes, I see your face dying . Your face with a tears falling. You didn't give me a chance to say goodbye to you. You didn't give me a chance to feel my love for you. I know that it's not your fault and you don't want to leave us unprepared. I also see that you also fight until the last breath you have. Now, I give you the peace that you deserve. Don't worry about me anymore, I'm gonna be ok.

Closing Thought

It's a semi fictional because some of this thoughts are actually my feelings right now. After I woke from am afternoon nap, I feel the emptiness and I don't know what's the exact reason of it. Maybe , I just missed my Dad. It's been a year but I can't still move. His birthday is also coming so I guess that it makes me feel sad once in a while. Just wished that I've given a chance to hug him even for the last time. That's also the reason why sometimes I hate rainy seasons because it's perfect time to be dramatic haha.

Hi dreamers. Welcome to my dreamland. Hope you enjoy reading this new article of mine. Thank you for still supporting me even sometimes I know that my articles is so nonsense and so messy hahahaha. Thank you for the likes, comments and upvotes.

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