Just like an artist who have their off-cam or behind the scenes moment,we have also another side of our stories outside on this platform. A story that maybe we also want to share or want to keep within. I know that all of us here was a writer of their own life. We write our stories (both fiction and non-fiction) to share and to inspire other readers. But behind on this platform, who are we? Can you still define yourself as the same person living here?
I can say that my outside and read cash writer me is somehow the same. But I guess that inside on this platform, I can freely express my feelings and rants in life. Unlike in the outside world that even I'm so talkative, I have no one to talked to about my problems. I didn't open up my problems and feelings because I don't want to bothered other's life. It's not like that I don't trust my family and friends but I didn't also want to be a burden to them so as much as possible I keep it within myself. I know that they also carry their own struggles in life. Behind the scenes, I'm a great pretender indeed.
Just like what I've said, behind on this platform I'm so talkative and most of my friends said that I am one of their happy pill. They also said that they admire me because I can make a heavy thing to a light one. Honestly, sometimes I didn't also know the reason how I can do such thing. I'm not perfect and I will never be. Most of the time , I still feel pressured and nervous but I don't want anyone to see me like that. So my way to hide my nervousness is to make them laugh so I also forget my problems. I just wanna give them a hype vibes even inside I living with a broken heart. Behind the scenes, I'm a happy kid with a broken smile.
In this platform, you can also find a friends, an inspiration and motivation. Even that you didn't know each other personally but the intact and connection seems that you already meet once. You can feel their support and concern even though they only saw me first. Unlike in the outside world that sometimes you can feel that the person in front of you is like a living camera or scanner. How do I say so? Because it seems that they will scan you from head to toe before they give their support to you. We are not living on the perfect world, so it's expected that there is someone who will judge you even you didn't do nothing. To avoid on this kind of person, I tend to keep my own business and I make sure that I only give my opinion and judgement if necessary because I know that not all of them is open minded to listen and accept my words.
Behind the scenes, I'm a frustrated student who only wants to survive the whole semester. I only want to finished all the activities on time and to meet all the expectations of my professors and classmates. I know that most the students can relate to this. The feeling that you know that you already do your best but it seems that is not a satisfying one. The feeling that you accomplished all the task but it seems that something is missing. I really missed my old world where I can still enjoy the journey of being a student. The moment when I can still get to laugh even I have a fully loaded schedule. I missed that kind of behind the scene.
Behind the scenes, I am a trying hard daughter. I want to give my family a good life that they really deserve. I want them to feel having a comfortable living so even I'm get tired and it's too hard for me, I tried my best to fulfilled my dreams for them. Sometimes , I admit that I want to give up but the moment I think about them, I also woke up myself from that nightmare. I always reminding myself to get up because there is someone who gives their undying support to me. I have no rights to give up because I'm not successful yet.
There's so many behind the scenes moment in my life but you know what is the most rewarding about it? Even I'm living on this platform and behind the scenes of it, I know that I still allowing myself for the self-growth and improvement. Gradually, I'm allowing myself to take a step to go outside my comfort zone because I know that in and behind the scenes, my life matters. I live because I'm destined to be here, so you are.
Author's Message:
Good evening dreamers 👋👋 Actually I don't have a certain topic in my mind and also I don't have a plan to write today but because I'm too stressed because of my laptop, so I took a break and suddenly I found myself writing here.😂 Just wanna say thank you for supporting this little dreamer named Mayiee. It's actually an honor to be appreciated like this. Hope that we still continue to inspired others by writing our stories. Keep safe and have a peaceful sleep.
As for me, I am so different in the real world compare to when I'm in read.cash. Dito talagang malaya ako maglabas ng saloobin, I fan be talkative because it's Virtual walang paghaharap na magaganap. Alam naman ng lahat dito na madaldal talaga ako sa dito pero sa totoong buhay, pareho tayong mapanisan ng laway hahaha.