I've been inactive here for almost 3 days because of the two reasons; I'm preparing for my report and I'm struggling about my self. I don't know what happened to me lately but one thing is for sure I'm not in the right condition. So instead of pushing myself, I take rest.
Since last week, I always dreaming about my report and in my dreams, my prof scolded me because he said that he doesn't understand anything. I was become more pressured about it. I actually like reporting because I'm always the one who present for the group but when it comes to this prof, I always becomes so uneasy. Not only me, but all of us experiencing this. He is a terror professor and he is so straightforward. When he doesn't like your report, he will interrupt your report then said " Stop, I can't understand what are you trying to say" or sometimes he gonna say " It seems that you don't study your report well". No doubt why some of my classmates already cried in front of the class. As a student, I know how it affects on their confidence. But on the other side, I also commend him because he is really good at explaining the lesson. He always said that we should not got offended on what he said on us because that's the reality especially when we are already on the working site, not everytime they will treat us as kid because we are not baby anymore. We understand him but we can also remove that nervousness during his time.
Yesterday was my report. Honestly , I'm too nervous but when I started to discussed, I don't mind anyone . I just continue to talked and report because we have a time limit. I need to discussed the three topics in five minutes so I tend to only choose the summarize explanation for the report. Gladly, I only report it in 4 minutes and 50seconds. I'm happy because I still have 10 seconds hahahha. But its not the end of the reporting because there's also a 20 minutes Q&A part. Yeah, the question and answer portion is longer than our reports hahaha. I handle to answer all of his questions except for the one. He asked me what is the right pronunciation of my real name. My former teachers also asked about that one and like before, I also said that " Sir, honestly I don't know also how to pronounce it hahahah". And their reactions is so hilarious hahaha. I added " Because even my Mom and Dad have different pronunciation about this name. I also asked them about this matter and they said that It's up to me hahaha. So I tend to accept different pronunciations of my name". ( Napagtripan lang talaga ako ng parents ko before kaya ako nagsa-suffer ngayon chos haha 😂😅). At least ,I made our terror prof to laugh hahah.
After that reporting, I decided to take a rest because honestly I'm so lowbat because of that report. And while browsing on my Facebook, I tend to say " Sana all" because friend's Universities declared an Academic Break. There so many Universities who announces that while our University don't have a planned to give us a break even just a day. And one of my professor also said that November 2 is not a Holiday and it is the schedule for our Midterms. ( Wish namin academic break pero Midterms yung binigay nila hahaha🤦😂). Until now, we are still hoping for the late announcement but it seems that there is no hope.
Because of that , I decided to declared my own Academic Break for today. They say that if you want something, you should make it to yourself. So, I didn't bothered to do anything today and I just lying on my bed until now. I believe that after a long and a pressured day , everyone deserves a break so I give it to my self. I also didn't check my messages and social media account earlier because I really want to take a deep breath. I spend my day by going to the vaccination center because it's my schedule of second dose and after that, I bond with my family and nephews. I really missed this kind of bind with them because honestly I'm guilty to the fact that I always busy in front of my laptop and I don't have time to talked to them. Actually after taking this daybreak , my energy comes back. Good thing that I declared my own Academic Break even just today. It helps me a lot to reflect about my self, to allot time with my love ones, to just rest and worry nothing. I realize that sometimes we should only give ourselves a break in order to us to become motivated for tomorrow.
Tomorrow is another battle for me but I think that I'm ready to face my life again as a student. I'm ready for procastination and to break the deadlines again lol. One thing is for sure, I made a right decision for myself.
Closing Thought
If you feel that you really need a rest, then take a rest. Don't pressured yourself about what might happen if you take a break. We are just a human who needs it so don't becomes so selfish to yourself. I know that one day is not enough but I also believe that it's a big help for us. Give ourselves a break that we deserve because you are only the one who can give it to you. Taking a break is not an act of laziness but instead it's an act of self-care. No matter what, I still rooting for you.
There's nothing wrong about taking a rest. It just means that we are tired because we have done something big and valuable. Take the rest that you need 🤗