A Joke Too Expensive To Buy

On a fateful Friday, after the class had come to an end. It wasn't like I was in the class anyway. I was just sited there, lost in thought, wondering where I had gone wrong that Rita had to dump me for a guy she barely knows. She had being to my place a day before today.

She complained that she couldn't bear the burden of being with a broke guy, but I am not broke. ( At least, I could deal with that indubitable fact) And that I couldn't even pay her bills, she crowned it up with me being a financial handicap who could only glory within the four walls of the classroom. Her words kept taunting me in the class.

Crippled in what seemed like a nightmare, I wailed within like a baby denied of his breast milk. The only word that I could grasp was the lecturer asking us to read and prepare for our examination. I felt numb, dumb and utterly useless, dejected but, 'why? was all I kept asking myself.

In midst my thoughts, I failed to realise I was walking and stepped on the lioness’ tail. “gbooah!!!” Was all that I heard, I felt my ears producing tintinnabulations that I couldn't begin fathom, but that slap revived me back to my sanity, as well as threw me off balance into the arms of another girl, only this one was compassionate and understanding.

Something happened when I stumbled in the cause of the lightening that had befallen my cheeks, of course my cheeks were virgin but this slap had screwed me.

“You are a fool, look at this nitwit, are you blind? How could you step on my one hundred thousand naira shoes.” she shouted at me, that was more like Amanda. No one goes scot free after dangling his hands in the mouth of a lion and lives to tell the story, my case was not made an exception.

She continued, “and you even kissed Thessy, with your smelly mouth, jeez!!!!.” she said with an irritated expression hovering all over her.

“Please, Amanda. It was not his fault, obviously, the poor boy was lost in thought and everyone noticed that today in class, so why are you pulling up such a stunt here over nothing.” Thessy was being defensive but why she was doing that, I couldn't tell.

“I am sorry to have ruined your mood and shoes , Amanda.” I said with all humility.

“Keep your sorry to yourself, dummy.” She said scornfully and walked off. I stood there drowning in my perplexity as well as watching Amanda walk away in a modeled manner. All her curves were displayed in that tight skirt. She is no doubt a champion of beauty, a picture perfect figure eight. Her left and right buttocks wrestled flawlessly with each other as she walked off.

“I am sorry about her, you know she is always like that, dear.” She said calmly in a tone that seemed too enigmatic for me to comprehend. I mean, after dropping a kiss on her, she still felt oblige to tender that? 'Wow!' was all I could utter within me.

“Thanks, and I am sorry about the kiss.” I said in a timidly polite tone, expressing my gap toothed dentation at sight. She smiled and said, “You take care of yourself, dear.” and went away.

Back in the prison of my thoughts again, I wondered home aimlessly, but something happened when I got to the doorstep. My door was open and this bewildered me as the only woman with a spare key to my humble abode was my girlfriend, which had just tendered her resignation letter yesterday.

(So who on earth will be inside, well, there's only one way to find out) I said to myself and turned the knob, only for me to see a lady sleeping on my bed. (No, it can't be my Rita, it's too good to be true) I said to myself.

She woke up and walked towards my direction seductively, with an impassive smile. “hehehe..., so you fell for that lovers’ joke? jeez!!!so it got to you that much. Oh!! My God!!! Babe, it's April fool.' She said feeling so sorry, it was written all over her before I could utter a word, she drew me to herself. Breast to breast, chest to chest.

I tried to dive into the whirlwind of passion but I couldn’t. It was the end of something beautiful. I couldn’t live with the joke. It was an insult to me. And I just couldn’t let it go… Was I wrong to end it? Was she justified to play the joke? What are your thoughts on this?