I had this question in my mind always. In fact, everyone ask me whether I'm an introvert type or extrovert type of person. But I cannot tell. I like making friends at the same point I chose who my friends are. They might be saying that maybe I'm an ambivert, a combination of both introvert and extrovert personality.
But they would ask me, which one weighs the most in my personality. Is it the introvert vibe or the extrovert vibe. Well I cannot tell. My personality changes all the time and it can be affected by the surroundings, people, place, situations and a lot of things.
First, let's talk about my introvert side. I like being productive alone. I mean I like doing things by myself alone because for me, it challenge me to do my best at the same point to try what's new. I don't based my perspective on what someone tells me. That's why I keep trying and trying until I find where I am comfortable of. I am not also a fan of huge parties. I don't know but I feel like I cannot hang along with party people making fun and dancing. I well always be sitting in the corner because that's the best I can do. I know I look so weird and killjoy when doing that but what else can I do, I cannot relate and join along with party. So that sums up my thought that this strongly represents my introvert side. This is like, oh why do you have to be like that self. Go join them and make fun too. Life is short and stop being like that.
Funny as it sounds but I told myself those things but this self of mine never listens to the inner voice I am making noise of. When there is also a singing or dancing thing, I don't feel like joining and participating because I am awkward of it. I have a part of myself that wantd to but there is this kind of weird thought in my mind saying that maybe they would laugh me. But wait, don't call me paranoid for that, it's just that I'm not comfortable on my own so bare with me.
Now, let's talk about my extrovert side. I am not ashamed of making questions to strangers I don't know. Espescially if I want to clarify something then that stranger must get ready for my question. But don't worry, it's not a kind of questions that will annoy somebody. How could I give a good impression if I keep asking questions that will annoy somebody. Of course I wouldn't like that to happen. That wouldn't help me gain friends.
I am a kind of person who likes to joke. So I speak in a joke most of the time, in a way that could sounds funny. I ain't trying hard it is just that I like to make people laugh. Also, when there is misunderstandings in the class with our teacher and I am in a group where they are afraid to ask then I volunteer to do it. I mean how can we make the task of they are afraid of asking and the chances is that we will not be following the instructions. So I took the crown to ask teachers and it's not scary nor shame to do that.
As you read, I have more of introvert traits rather than extrovert. They are putting the huge weigh and they are winning. Being an introvert is not bad at all. Sometimes you learned to keep your mouth shut and not interrupt anyone. That is simply how introvert chose to live their lives.
I wish I can be fully an ambivert. The balance between introvert and extrovert but as for now, introvert is much greater than the extrovert side so I cannot declare myself as an ambivert. But to tell you, I'm trying my best to friendly and interactive. It's so easy to interact and talk in internet but the real challenge is how you talk and interact with the people personally. How you approached them, how you talk to them, how much vibes you can give to them and so the list goes.
