Singleness is a gift. 

Though social media may say otherwise, being single is not a thing to fret about. Singleness offers a lot of opportunities that are seldom enjoyed by those in a relationship. So there's no need to rush into an untimely relationship, especially when it is not yet your season. Let it come when the time is ripe, and when you fully mature to handle the pressures brought about by romantic relationships.

I remember Joshua Harris' bestselling books about relationships - "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and "Boy Meets Girl". They were like "cult classics" when I was in high school! Though unfortunately Harris already renounced his faith and recanted what he said about relationships in his books, I still find his principles helpful. The bottom line of what he's saying then was, "don't pursue a relationship without the intent of getting married". Marriage should be the goal, because if not, what else? You'll just end up hurting each other when there's no clear direction. Clarity before intimacy. Intention complements affection. 

He mentioned the season of singleness as a gift. It is the time of our lives unmatched with boundless opportunities for growth! When you are in a relationship, you no longer think of yourself alone. You think of your partner's interest as well. You learn how to sacrifice your time, your privileges, your resources and put the needs of your significant other in priority. You no longer decide on your own - you need to consider the schedule of the other person, plus his/her emotions! You also have to relate with his/her family. It is not "you and me against the world" - that's a huge lie! Romantic relationships are community projects. You involve not just your respective families, but your respective circle of friends and influences as well. 

Being in a relationship entails a lot of responsibilities and challenges. Unless you're ready, don't rush into it! Improve yourself first. How do you do this?

Learn from role models

Learn from your parents and godly influences around you. Though you can glean insights from authoritative relationship books and positive influencers, remember that relationships are not always 'kilig' and happiness. Disagreements happen. Frustrations happen. Life happens.

Keep a close watch on how your role models handle their relationships. How do they weather all the storms that come along with their marriage? How do they keep their passion aflame? How are they dealing with their differences? 

Widen your horizon

While you're waiting for the right person, be the right person yourself. Don't wait for the perfect one because there is none! And in case there is, why do you think he/she would love to spend his/her life with you? So, improve yourself. If you're still a student, focus on your grades. If you're a young professional, focus on your craft. Learn how to handle money. Learn life skills. Increase your vocabulary. Join worthy causes. Have fun! There is more to life than love life. Time will come when you're already committed to a relationship when you can't even find time to do such stuff. Seize the opportunity!

Take future relationships seriously

We do this by making sure you're "at it" while "it's not yet". To drive my point, here's an illustration. It is my goal to be a responsible husband and father to my kids. But even if I am not yet a husband and a dad, I do this by being such to my family. I try to be more responsible when I am at home - I do the dishes, I cook from time to time, I help in chores. These things should be a default when I become a husband. As a future dad, I practice being patient, being considerate, being generous, and thoughtful with younger kids around. That's being "at it" while "it's not yet". Take your singleness as a practice round for the serious rounds to come!

Being single is a blessing. Being in a relationship is an altogether different blessing. Both have their own perks and challenges. But unless the time is ripe and you're ready to jump from one challenge to another, maximize your season. Don't rush so you won't have anything to regret. 

Image credits: Unsplash.com

This post is inspired by @Eirolfeam2's It's OK to be Single