Just Another Random Musing

If I were to add all the minutes I was staring blankly at my laptop screen, it would be more than an hour. I didn't know what happened last night. I was trying to squeeze in ideas and bring out all things I can think of, but I can't find any single sentence to write about. I was having an episode of writer's block and I can't do anything about it. 

I badly needed to write a devotional entry because I don't want to cram in the coming weeks. I have six entries to pass until the first week of May and if this writing drought continues, I don't know what to do.

Ironically, I'm writing about not having any ideas to write about. 

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I am writing this piece feeling heavy physically and emotionally. I intentionally keep myself from interacting with people so somehow I can rest my mind from picking up unnecessary baggage. The Holy Week passed but I wasn't able to rest altogether. My piling-up responsibilities keep my mind awake, and my energy depleted. I know you'll tell me to rest, and I'm pretty much aware of that as well. I just can't, for now. But I will, definitely.

Have you ever felt so tired but when you try to doze it off, the feeling lingers? It's as if nothing has changed and you still feel the same crap feeling before you slept. There is a kind of physical tiredness that can't be addressed by sleep. 

That's what I'm feeling right now. So I'm trying to just vent it out through writing, for it somehow helps me let off some 'digital steam' lol. So, I wonder where this freewriting will take me?

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Prior to this writer's block, I was planning to write about my trip to Clark, Pampanga. We went to Hilton Hotel (nuks) for a night of relaxation and a little retreat. It was a fun, yet very bitin experience. Prior to my Hive blog's hacking incident (yes, my account was compromised because of my lutang moment a couple of days ago), I post my travel-and-lifestyle-kind-of-blogs on Hive. I am still planning to do so on a newly-created account. If you're on Hive, please give me some love @devowriter.

But during the Holy Week's busyness, I wasn't able to start that entry and until now, I'm still struggling to work that out. I just hope I'll be able to pull that off before my memory of that trip fade into existence. Haha!

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A few weeks before the elections and my anxiety is getting stronger by heaps! If only I can shut off everybody so I can be at peace until a new president is put in place, but I know everyone's given the right to voice their opinion so I have to endure the incessant noise. I know the world does not revolve around me and people don't have to do my bidding so I have to adjust. What I did since the start of the campaign season was install a News Feed Eradicator to filter the noise that keeps on bothering me. At least whenever I'm in the office where I spend most of my waking hours, the temptation to doomscroll has lessened significantly.

But - what I can't control are people who shove into my face their political comments and ruminations. It's easy to shut off people's voices when you are not related to them. It's easy to set boundaries. But when they are the people you spend most of your time with, it's a tad difficult thing to keep their voices out of my head. Adjust adjust na lang talaga, kasi mahal mo sila. 

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And that's it. My random musings. This serves also as proof of life.