Dear Marky: My classmate likes the guy who is courting me, I am being bullied

Dear Marky,

I still have no plans to have a boyfriend but in this case, my classmate likes the guy who is courting me, I am being bullied. Not only in person, but also on FB she always says something that is somewhat related to me. Even though she didn't put my name on it, I knew she targeted me. What will I do? - Anne

Anne,

Ignore. This is what you should do to stop her. Sometimes, it is not effective for you to confront her. She will even have a chance to embarrass you. Of course, no criminal will admit to her own crime so I am sure she will not tell you, 'you are the one I am listening to’. If she just admits what she did, what will you do?

Will you fight her? Even if she does it wrong, ‘it is not good if you fight her. In the end, you are the only one who can be blamed. You don't have to shout, scold, or belittle her. You need to be calm in your speech. You need to be sweet but with emphasis. She also needs to know that you are affected by what she is doing and you do not like it.

Now if despite you did your speech but she is still bratty and sulky, do not get irritated. You may suddenly turn pale and cry. If you do that, she will only bully you more. Show her toughness when you encountered her again. She also needs to realize that your speech truly threatening. You should have plans if she doesn't stop bullying you.

Sometimes such people are only brave because the people she chooses to bully do not resist only and when she discovers that the person she is fighting with can also be bratty with her, she will hesitate to bully you. So, do not intimidate her. Show her that you can fight her. That's all, what she is doing is just a hint and she did not refer you directly so you can not say that she is involved in cyberbullying.

By the way, what is the reaction of the guy who's courting you? who is his type? Doesn't he defend you? Doesn't he criticize that woman for teasing you? If you say he has no reaction, he is worthless. You're kidding, he can't defend you. So, you have to learn to defend yourself because no one else will defend you but yourself.

At first, I told you that ignorance was effective. Well, that's true. If the bully finds out that you are not affected by what he or she is doing, he or she will get bored. However, if you feel that she is overdoing what she is doing, you have to fight back. Make her feel that you will not let her take you down, that you are ready to fight her.

Of course, you do not need to tweak or support her doings. There is nothing good about being violent. But, there are other ways you can show her that you are ready to fight. Saw her face to face. Tell her what you can do when she does touch you. You can report her to your teacher or talk to her parents. If you do that, she will never bother you anymore.

Remember, to complain is not a weakness. You just have someone that can help you render toward other people. Then, tell her that you didn't like the guy she likes because he does not seem to be defending yourself. If he manages to fight that woman, I'm sure that girl won't bully you. So, even when the time comes when you want to have a boyfriend, do not take a man who can not defend you.

I thought of making this series for the broken-hearted to have a chance to release the pain they are feeling. So, if you are frustrated with love, it is better to just say a problem here so that I can advise you. I know it will help a lot then to make the pain you feel okay, in this series I will advise you on what I know and experience but the best way to release the pain is to pray and talk to God about what is best for you.

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