Yes, I am illegitimate!

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Avatar for Marinov
3 years ago

There's nothing wrong with it. I am not accountable for any mistakes my parents did for I didn't chose to be born either.


These are the words that I want to say to people who questioned my identity and to the teacher who questioned me as well. Though, these words don't hurt me, I found it annoying like what is it in them if I was raised by my grandma? And what is it for them if my mother got pregnant at a young age? We didn't ask even a cent from them for us to live. It's better to be silent if you have nothing nice to say. But there are people who seem to don't know when to open and close their mouths. It's far beyond my control to make them stop so what I did is just to not entertain them. Giving them time will just make them think I care about what they say.

To continue the story in 2nd article, let's start where I stopped.

After my mother gave birth to me, she continued studying while I was left in the care of my grandma. Since my mother is still young, she doesn't know how to care of a baby and doesn't earn yet. She's still lucky though because my grandma and grandpa took the obligations from her. One year had passed and I was still taken care of by my grandparents. They thought everything comes in place where they want to it be but, my mother got pregnant again by the same man which is my father. I don't know what got into their minds. Even me, when I think of it I get angry and so disappointed that they're my parents. As a result, my grandparents are mad again but what can they do? Parents are always parents so they accepted the situation little by little. I am certain that they don't lack in giving my mother reminders and everything parents can say for their child not to be put in any hard situations. I felt really really sad for my grandparents.

Time passed and my mother gave birth to my younger sister. My grandpa despised the sight of another baby because it means another disappointment for him for he was very proud with my mother before. As a result, he didn't not supported my younger sister's needs and his attention was all on me. He still loves me but I felt sad for my younger sister. There was one time when grandpa came home from work and he brought cans of milk and burgers and directly gave them to me. My younger sister was staring and I can feel that she envied me that time. To make her feel better, I shared what grandpa gave me.

My grandpa's attitude towards the family changed as well. He and grandma were always arguing and he also hit my mother emotionally with harsh words. He thought that it's his fault why my mother's life ruined because he's the head of the family. He felt that what had happened is a huge humiliation for him. In addition, grandpa became violent and despise the sight of someone who came to visit us in our house.

Days passed by and my mother was sent to school again to continue her studies. All the hopes were given to her since she's their only child. My grandma was again positive that this time, she can graduate in High School. For my grandma, education is really important because this is the only treasure that she can ever bestowed upon us. Grandma worked double time selling snacks and taking care of our small restaurant just in front of our house.

One thing that can't be avoided are the "chismosas", the gossips. Hello? They are part of this world even though how much we want to vanish. And telling you, they come in many forms. May it be your relatives, neighborhood, friends or even your closest friends. They kept on telling that my mother is a whore that's why she got pregnant at a young age. Of course my grandma got hurt but she doesn't mind what the neighbors said about my mother. She just focused on how to make us live a life that is different from what they experienced.

To continue, my mother was again sent to school and after 2 years, I guess, she got pregnant AGAIN. Tsk! She got pregnant but with different man and that man didn't took the responsibility as well just like my father. So who took the responsibility? It's my grandma since she and my grandpa got separated. Grandpa left us. Why? He was violent. The third pregnancy got him furious. He can't handle the disappointment given by my mother. He didn't even gave his salary to my grandma for our finances. He even hit my mother emotionally and physically. I don't know why he hated my two younger sisters in a way that he and grandma have to take separate ways. I guess grandma can't also take that her daughter was being hit by her own father so to stop the chaos, she let grandpa walk away.

https://unsplash.com/photos/S9yn7XYqxoU

I was really hurt because of that. My grandpa has been a good grandpa to me. Though he became the man I didn't expected him to be, still he's my grandpa who gave me everything. Another family down. We are such a broken family. I don't why God put us in this situation while others are happy living their perfect life.

Because of that, my grandma was the only one who took care of us, three -- me and my sisters. I don't know how she did that and that's why I really love her above anything else in the world. She's my angel. My grandma did everything for us and we live to give her everything too. But, her earnings is not enough to provide us three since we are not a product of breastfeeding. Doctors have been trying to make us consume mo mother's milk but we ended up spitting it. As a result, grandma needs to buy powdered milk for us. Life was hard for grandma and we made it even harder for her.

Not long, she decided to work in Manila to have higher earnings. She also had my mother with her so they can have double earnings. What about us? Well, we are left at home with my great grandma and grandpa. She took care of us while they are in Manila working for us. My great grandma also is an amazing woman. I didn't know how did she took care of us since she's been disabled and can't walk because of an accident (that was when we were still young but now, her legs are okay because of the successful operation).

Days gone by we grew up. Grandma went home first while my mother was left in Manila working. My grandma was expecting for her to send money every month for us but she didn't. She didn't even asked about our condition. All I can remember is that she forgot us. Lucky we have a grandma who treats us like we are her own children. I thank God that He gave us to my grandma. I believe there's really a reason why he put us in this situation. Even though life is hard, still, I learned a lot.

https://unsplash.com/photos/S9yn7XYqxoU

Acceptance

Accept the situation. Acceptance provides much-needed relief. Humans suffer as a result of their emotions. God has entrusted you with this so accept it gracefully and begin to do good. This, in fact, provides you the motivation to get up.

Be optimistic

Visualize whatever you want to achieve as if it has already occurred. This will open doors and provide resources for you to attain your objectives.

Be kind

Try to help them, even if they are exploiting you, and imagine that you are helping someone.. Karma will repay you, and the Almighty will look after you. God is the one source of evidence we can rely on, and you will be repaid 100 percent.

To be continued...

I am writing this in continuation of my second article. Yes! I still have two published articles. πŸ˜… As much as I want to publish everyday, my work and doing modules make it hard but I make sure I read 10 articles each day and leave a comment. Though very busy, I don't want to leave the platform behind. I am really grateful to be in the platform. This is one of the sources of motivation for me. People in here are so generous and everyone is uplifting everybody. As I am writing this, I think of the people who inspired me to keep going and keep writing. Thank you so much to @renren16, @Zhyne06 and @Sequoia and and also to @Cineholic . You guys are amazing. And to the kind hearts who upvoted my previous articles, thank you so much dearest! A hundred folds will be given back to you.

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A pleasant day to everyone! Let me hear your opinions and experiences may it be similar to mine or otherwise.

Ciao! ❀️

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3 years ago

Comments

ang hirap nman ...how's your mother now? are you reunited na or still apart?

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Hirap po talaga pero keri lang nasanay na. Still apart pa rin pero okay na naman ako kahit wala po sya.

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3 years ago

I feel really pity for your grandparents. To face those situations would have been so hard. A lot of love and prayers for your grandma πŸ’—

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3 years ago

Yes, she's been through a lot and she's tougher than those circumstances. Thank you so much for the prayers.❀️

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3 years ago

I felt sad for your grandma's situation, I hope you will help her soon to take care of your sisters.. she sacrifice a lot. You are blessed to have her, and to your mother well kinda don't like her, I hope she will learn her lessons and help your grandma to raise all of you.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Yes, I'm doing the best I can to help her in ways I'm capable of doing. And my mother, nahhh she will not really understand why we exist and I think she still hasn't got a plan to help my grandma raise us. But it's still okay for us. She's still our mother so we give respect as well.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I see, it's okay as long as your grandma is there and she's healthy.

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3 years ago

Yes, she is. ☺️

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Keep going memsh!!!😊😊😊 Despite sa tanang mga kaagi or unsa pa nang mga pagsuway sa kinabuhi, kaya ra na gihapon.. Saleg lang jud ta NijaπŸ˜‡β˜οΈ

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Tinuod jod kaajo mem. Tuo jod ko ana kay bisan sa kalisod namo sa una napadako ug napahuman gihapon mig skwela sa ahong lola.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Truelala jud na kaajo mem.. Salig lang jud ta permi NijaπŸ˜‡, kay bisan pag makasa ta makadaghan, andam jud Sija mudawat basta lang jud sincere pud ta mangajo ug pasaylo.πŸ˜‡πŸ˜Š

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Korek! Mao jod nga bisan nagkalisod na mangatawa ra gihapon mi

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Gajud mem, dapat Happy lang tayo!😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I don't know what to say. You've gobe through a lot and yet here you are. You still manage to see the bright side of every situation. I admire your kind heart. You are such an inspiration to every body. Nakakaiyak at nakakahanga yung storya mo. Swerte mo din sa lola mooo.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Yes and until now, the tough situation is not yet over. I am really happy that you consider me as an inspiration. Even you, you are also one of my inspirations in here πŸ˜… sinabi mo pa. Swerte talaga ako sa lola ko

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3 years ago

Sanaol 😭 kami kasi ng lola ko medyu di ka mi bati nung bata pa ako.

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3 years ago

Talaga? Bakit naman?

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3 years ago

May peboritisim kasi sya eh hihi.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

That was inspiring, sis! It is very much needed to be honest and kind to yourself. If you're good at self-acceptance, nobody in this world can make you feel bad about being what you are. You already know it and you feel proud about it.

$ 0.01
3 years ago

I am happy I was able to inspire you with my not-so-good life story. And yes, you said it right. I will not feel sorry about being me as long as I didn't make others feel bad. I'm proud of who I am.

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3 years ago