I've got a heart without a home
I'm back again after one week of being inactive. As usual, I miss writing here and interacting to you all virtually. Being a clerk/executive secretary consumes all of my time for I work during weekdays from 8 AM to 6 PM. Sometimes, I felt sad knowing that I left my 9-month-old daughter at home when I should have been taking care of her. I felt sad that I am not giving her breast milk when in fact I can produce it for her through electric breast pump. But anyway, I also think that giving her formula milk won't make me a bad mom. There are a lot of moms who are giving their babies formula milk and it doesn't make them less of a mom.
Last week, one of my virtual friends, who I met here on read.cash sent a screenshot of a writing challenge on Hive. I've been on Hive for almost three weeks I guess but I have no progress in there. I seldom write and I don't have enough resource credits to make any interaction aside from publishing my article. I'm still a noob there and I hope I will have time to explore.
The above photo is the challenge that my friend sent us. I planned to make an article about this last Wednesday but still, I wasn't able to do so. Now that I have time, I will take this opportunity to write while my daughter is sleeping.
I have a lot of songs in mind because I love music and it's hard for me to choose one. But, after an hour, I guess, lol, I finally decided to choose the song "Ocean Deep" by Cliff Richard.
Some of you might have heard this, right? This is one of the classic love songs that our parents used to play whether in karaoke or cassette. I remember my grandma used to listen to this song while she's letting us sleep during the afternoon. During that time, I don't understand the meaning of the song. I just enjoyed the rhythm while I am pretending to close my eyes because my grandma would hit us with a hanger if we wouldn't sleep during the afternoon.
I also heard this song on the radio during Sundays that's why I become too familiar with the song.
One big reason that makes me don't want to forget the song is because of my ex. He likes this song and he always sing this one for me. Our endearment is "love" which really fit to the song's first line which is "Love, can't you see I'm alone? Can't you give this fool a chance? A little love is all I ask and that is all".
I know he's now my ex-lover and I shouldn't have special feelings for him anymore or else my boyfriend will kill me. Lol. I don't know but I still think of him whenever I hear the song, Ocean Deep. All of our happy memories from the very first day we met and the very first day he courted me would flash back.
I'd really like to talk a lot but I am afraid my boyfriend would read this article and misinterpret everything. I don't want him to question my love for him and I don't want us to fight for this shallow reason.
I just shared some thoughts that I want to let out of my mind. Maybe this can help me get rid of my anxiety.
Sorry for not writing well. I admit my writing skills has been greatly affected of my anxiety for I can't focus on one thing. I am still on the process of healing and I can say that my condition is now improving. Hoping I will be completely fine so I can write everyday.
(You can find this article's title from the song lyrics)
Thank you fam for supporting me. I may not be able to respond immediately but I promise I'll make it up when I have the time. Thanks to my sponsors and to those people who upvote my posts. You guys are big help.