Bad Company

Good morning, read.cash! You know, one thing I have observed as a mother of a son approaching two years of age is that I don't have to teach him to do wrong, but instead I have to teach him what is right to do. And when he is around a couple of the neighbor kids who severely lack discipline, I find myself having to correct the bad behavior he picks up from them so he does not repeat it. And though he likes to play and be sociable, there are times when I just don't want him around those two boys.

It's the same with us adults. Not all of our friends are good friends. Not all of our good friends are good. And as far as that goes, even a member of one's family may be bad company. It seems we all have a family member (sibling, cousin, etc) that continues to go astray. And while I do not particularly care for the phrase black sheep of the family, I recognize the meaning behind it. This phrase describes a person as somebody who makes poor decisions or has a bad reputation. We all have one in the family or in our inner circle of friends.

Character

It's rather easy to judge bad characters if we're observant. We can observe a person's personality, their spoken thoughts, what they say they intend to do, watch their desires being worked out, and observe their actions. From these characteristics, we can pretty much know how they are going to behave in any given situation, though they may surprise us at times.

Discipline

Another thing I have noticed is the lack of discipline when kids begin demonstrating bad behavior. A few years ago I was standing in line at SM Theater to buy a couple of tickets. A mother and her child cut the line (why do people do this?!) with her 5-year-old son. The man and his wife (or girlfriend) ahead of me were just as shocked. But the man, a westerner, spoke up when the boy continued to repeatedly kick the ticket counter.

"Hey," he said in a firm voice, "knock it off." The boy immediately stopped his kicking.

The mother turned around and confronted the man. "Who do you think you are!"

He replied in the same firm tone. "Discipline your child."

Her complexion turned from pale to increasing red. The anger was evident. She said, "He can do what he wants and it's none of your business!"

With that, and as she was taking her two tickets, he remarked, "Well, I hope you'll visit him in Bilibid in the future."

The woman stormed away towards the theater. I was temporarily at a loss of words until the woman turned around and shouted before walking into the theater. "I'll have you deported!"

He just shrugged.

"Don't worry about it, sir," I began, "my uncle would have spanked his butt." He laughed. And my uncle would have.

Correction

Based on my experience, I believe that correcting bad behavior and teaching good character is severely lacking in our society today. And at times I can be guilty of not correcting my son if I am busy doing something. At the same time, kids who make attempts to test our limits and see what they can get away with must be corrected. If they are not, they are the ones who over time develop bad characteristics and become the bad company (or examples) that adversely influence others, and who destroy their lives.

Do not be misled

We all know someone who exhibits bad behavior, and is most likely not good company to be around. I like what James, the brother of Jesus wrote around 40-50 A.D. or so.

If you think it over, you know he was and is right. If we hang out with people with bad character long enough, we too will tend to pick up the traits of the person. And we might not notice the subtle change in our demeanor and our behavior, but rest assured, it will change and not for the better.

The Apostle Peter stated the problem well: "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8, ESV).

And he does! Satan loves nothing more to ensure we reject God and behave as we choose. He and his minions delight in sinful behavior. He tricks people into believing their freedom allows for behaviors that go against the moral grain. But what he doesn't want you to know is that bad behavior is destructive in the end.

The solution

We all know in our hearts the difference between right and wrong, because God has given each of us a conscience. Our spirit warns us when we are about to say or do something wrong. And the longer we ignore that inner voice of reasoning and correction, the more difficult it becomes for us to listen to it.

What to do, then? We do what Paul told Timothy to avoid.

"But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people" (2 Timothy 3:1-5, ESV).

Sure, it's not always easy to change. Developing good character is a process. The first step is to humble ourselves before God. A heart given over to the Lord will be led by the Holy Spirit, and He will work within us to develop good character and help us avoid making bad decisions and also to flee from bad company.

"There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death" (Proverbs 14:12, NIV).

Choose God's way and avoid bad company. In this manner you and I can also train up our children in the way they should go.