Unwanted Child

Article 3

Have you ever feel of being unwanted? Do you ever questioned yourself if you belong in the family? Am I adopted? Do they care my existence?

Waitttttttt! I need to process all of these.

Growing up in a cruel and judgmental society really made an impact to my life. The pain that has been buried in the core of my heart remains a scars deep within. The words that they had been bad-mouthed on me are all fresh in my ears penetrating my brain that cause too much pain. I just wonder if they really care.

My innocent childhood days was full of bullying. They bullied me because of my looks. My physical appearance goes beyond their standards that sometimes i heard a word "Is she adopted? Why is that she doesn't looks like his brother"? No matter how low that voice is, in my ears you shouted it loud. That time, I didn't hesitate to ask my parents wether it's TRUE or NOT. All I know is I AM LOVED and that is what really matters ☺️.

I experienced being called "AMPON" (ADOPTED) or "TINUROK" (JUST LIKE A SEED THAT ACCIDENTALLY GROWN". My uncles, cousins or even my playmates shouted that in my face. Of course I cried. I cried it so loud that gives me a courage to ask my parents if it is true. Beyond my curiosity to know everything about me is a bitter truth behind my existence.

Finally I got the answer 😞. They told me that I am their biological daughter and they are my biological parents. As I am about to smile but the whole truth is not yet ends. My mama and papa continue reminiscing about the story of mine. They told me that I am UNWANTED CHILD. Yes you are right, that words comes out from their mouth. Yes I AM UNWANTED CHILD that during her pregnancy they plan to abort me. The reason behind of attempting to abort me is that my elder brother was just 7 months old that time when my mom is pregnant with the author of this story. If you are in my shoes, how would you react? They keeps on telling me that their plan was unsuccessful because there's still a LOVE for me. Alright but this story never ends that way😞😞😞💔.

Right after I was born my papa could no longer afford to hold me like her baby cause as they said I am ugly, too dark and my skin has full of rushes causing my neck about to break. There's a scenario that my grandparents was already at home, they want to take away from my parents cause they know that when i was born my mama and papa don't want me. My grandparents wants to take care of me. But luckily they change their mind, maybe their hearts also cause it didn't happened, they didn't gave me to my grandparents cause my mama and papa decided to keep me as their daughter. They learn to love me that time. But you know after hearing those painful words i still manage to feel relieve and secure because they still choose me despite my condition. They never aborted me though they planned to do so. They never abandoned me aside from having different looks from my elder brother. My complexion doesn't matter because they learn to love me now. According to them, after for so many weeks, my physical features was change. My eyes looks like to my father like an arab wanderer☺️.

Sometimes I heard my relatives or even to my siblings that I am UNWANTED child but it doesn't bothers me anymore like it was before, sometimes there's a sensation but not as painful as before. Being called unwanted child is not a curse rather than a gift from God. That no matter they don't want me to be in this world, but God put me in the womb of my mom to be born like an angel spreading her wings to protect and love to her family, to shower blessings and give love to them.

Now, I am fully grown and developed as a woman. They could no longer say that I am adopted cause I inherited the shape of my mom's face, my eyes, my brows is a carbon copy of my papa's eyes and brows too.

You know what my parents didn't plan my NAME. That's why my name isn't girly but what surprised me cause when I googled the meaning of my name it means "an ancient puertorican name meaning GIFT FROM GOD" ☺️❤️☺️ imagine how God works in a mysterious ways.

Readers, I want you to realize how Great is our God. He always gives the best for us.

To my Papa and Mama (in heaven), you teach me how to love, you nurture me to be the best, you made me strong. There's no combination of words in the 26 letters of the alphabet that could express my gratitude of how much I love you. Thank you for loving me not just me but to my siblings also.

In our lives, we encounter pain, sadness and sorrow, sometimes it will lead to question ourselves but if we're going to dig deeper and widen our minds and keep the Faith in the Living God, we will find the way.

Thank you.