✨Mohsen✨
I'm 23 and it feels like nothing happened in my life, it was just so stagnant that I'm still in the same place where i started my dreams and it feels like I'm always stranded. My family has a mountainous of expectation for me, with the ellegibility to work in a government job and thats what makes it hard for me because i already tried to apply a couple of job but unfortunately I didn't get neither of those and I'm the oldest sibling to the family that adds pressure for me im doing a great job, im confident but i dont know why i cant win the situation and i know there is a reason behind that.
2022 came and all i did was sleep, prepare food, eat, clean the house, read books and overthinking, and will never go to outside unless ask to. Seems like home doesn't feels like home and my room was my favorite area of the house, i think that a family is just a word full of love but for me im just a disappointment that nothing to do with life than messed up. I dont have friends, i mean we are a different person to different people, we have company/acquaintances in drinks, in school, in family, in business and etc, yes we have a choice who to tell our personal problem are and people call them a friend to you but they'll not understand you when you open up something to them, so will just decide to keep it on your own and suffer on your own, cry on your own and for a long time i learned to be alone but not lonely im happy just by myself. Days passed i dont feel good and i want to go somewhere just to battle all the problem on my own without someone expecting it because i know i need to do something but how? pandemic becomes worsen and theres a rampant growth of it to where i wanna go. I decided to stay to our place and find some part time job and while searching theres this app that keeps on pop upping and keeps on saying online dating blah blah blah blah so out of my curiousity, I install the app just to try if i can find someone stranger to talk all the pain that i felt, ofcourse its impossible to find a guy without an intention to date in a dating app (hahaha) BUT...
First day, i dont know but not all foreigner aren't that good they will just ask you instantly of nude photos all i did was block them automatically. Second day, as i was getting bored of the app, I matched with this person that has a bio "ask me anything" so i initiated to ask stupid question that goes (why is it called a blackboard when its green?) hahaha and guess what he really answer it with ( because its the word that ancient time used) i was amaze honestly he didn't even knew me but answer me full of respect and i say 'how are you? Then he replied not good then i openly said i wasn't good also and that theres a lot of problems and he openly talk to me about any that come to his mind not the bad one because as he said his so down and dont have time to think any of those. I like him already, nahh not in a romantic way but in a nice way that there are still people whos not disrespectful to make it short we exchange our WhatsApp number and we talked a lot of our problems.
Allow me to share some screenshots of our conversation.
A conversation full of encouragement and determination. He was the first man whom i got to say and share all i want. He is special in a way that for 23 years of leaving i got to know someone whos willing to listen all your rants and hate in life. That maybe there are person who was really destined to help us in so many ways we cant imagine.
I wish you were really real because i got to know more. Why is that when we find that person who assures you that they will be there but they are so far and lives a million miles away, virtual hugs is impossible but only pillows is available.
The friendship that we built in such a distance was great, he will understand all the heartaches i get, strangers are better than someone whos near beside you, he makes me calm in so many ways. I cried and cried and cried without judgement. I Never had a boyfriend before so i never felt a guy knows how to comfort me this way.
Others won't understand how this compliment hits different. I get to understand that you're attractive to someone because you are beautiful, cute, kind, sexy and etc but someone who'll appreciate the way how you talk and perceive things its kinda giving me butterflies, i cant even imagine that its my first time to hear those words especially from someone stranger to me.
And i realized I DONT WANNA LOSE THIS GUY.
Someone who understands that your alone and that I'm in need of a friend. He just dont know how lucky i was to have him, i just wish he feels the same way. We kept busy talking about the things that matter and slowly i got to know all about him.
Yes, he is an Electrical Engineering 🥰 he is not just only good to make me calm and better but also good all related in math hahaha honestly i got used it.
In working out every morning, he was there to cheer up with me hahaha i dont want to brag but he is really fit, he have a good body, good posture , A GOOD MINDSET... i dont know what wrong with him because it feels so right (hahaha)
Not just in workout but a supporter and my number one fan in finding part time job. Its my first time to experience and feel such things that someone will say i mean so much to them that im also special person.
And someone that will update me in everything even wont ask about it. That someone who doesn't want to be ignored ( he is so funny because you know im just doing laundry and like that hahaha sooooo cute) i know its toxic to some but its my first time to feel wanted that there's someone who wants to talk, to be updated of how my day was and i cant lie IM SO LUCKY to have him as a friend.
The reassurance i get whenever i felt im alone again, my dark thought, my toxicity activate he never fails to tell me how much his doing his best to make me happy and never be alone again.
But it doesn't mean theres no ending and goodbyes, ofcourse it will come to serve it best. Just be prepared to the worst and to the best.
The REALIZATIONS...
You'll meet a specific person for a specific problem.
This is how i cope up with sadness, i found my hero he saved me. Just to remind you that we need someone to feel okay. Its fine to be independent and strong but dont keep your pain and sadness inside you, learn to share it with someone whom you trust it doesn't mean that u need to do the ways i found my hero but you will find the right one in your heart be comfortable and open some space for them in your heart. I understand that all has an ending and goodbyes are real, we need to learn that people come and people go.
Live your life as if its the first time and the last time.
Life is too short and way too busy to please everyone. Let them do whatever they want, make sure that you're enjoying every part of your life, regret always comes late.
Be forever greatful to the ones who found it worth their while to know you. Thank them and never forget the piece of their life thats is shared with you.
Be mindful of unspoken goodbyes.
Move forward, move on and learn to go on your own because in the first place you were just alone, you just meet a company to be with you in that specific battle.
Always remember that God wants you to be strong enough to face all the hardship in life.
You'll meet another stranger/person again that would help you again with another rocky road journey. JUST BE THANKFUL EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO YOU MEET ALONG THE WAY.
Life must be so hard for all of us , we just need to learn how to dance with the rain and be thankful for the life we have.
I wrote this article just to remind you that not all people who promised to stay will stay. Not all people who's been there for you in the past will still be there for you at the present. Only God knows anything and everything about us just ask him how to be strong and calm in the midst of circumstances.
To the person behind this gratitude i felt right now, to you MOHSEN (honestly i dont know whats his real name and he dont know mine😅), thank you in the deepest part of my heart❤️. I know you'll not read this but I'm hoping you will, you just dont know how happy and lucky i am just to have you and to knew you. I have experienced lots of first times with you. I hope that you'll help many person in the future, you are an angel sent from God above, you are so good, we need more of you in the world. I may not share here all the conversation we had but know that i appreciated all of those efforts and time you spent with me. You give me such inspiration to write this and to show how much im greatful and i dont know what the title of this in the first place, so now i realized maybe its your name. I hope to see you in person to hug you and talk about lot of things, even i know its impossible. Thank you is not enough.
From the girl in PHILIPPINES to the man from Algeria.
I hope you like my first article. And hope you'll get some learning with it. I just want y'all to know that you are free to comment all you want to be my title for my second article. I'm newbie here so please guys guide me. Thank you so much. Have a great day and keep safe.❤️😇
