Raising a generation of weak children, whose fault is it?

Good morning everyone here, no doubt you've all had a sweet immaculate night rest as did I. Well before I proceed to my place of work where I struggle hard to fend for my children being a single mom, I have decided to at least crack our brains a little over why and how the reasons of raising weak children are a fault of ours.

Children according to the scriptures are a blessing in marriages and hence that is, then proper care is required on our parts both as single parent or as both parents in giving them the best so that they can grow up and be bended towards how we want them to be as the society where we all find ourselves is rather too hostile than friendly even though the same society manages to put up that friendly smile which makes the appear as if that is what they are while in absolute reality, it is never so

It's your faults as both parents and my fault as a single mom

How you may ask? This is what it is, you started it long time ago when you had resolved in your mind that your children would not pass through the same difficulties you went through thereby allowing the too much love you have for them to make them very very weak.

Before you became a parent, what did your parents do for you?

Note it that before we all became parents of our own children, we were once like our children back then and our parents prepared us for the challenges ahead by allowing is to us to solve most of our problems by ourselves. What they did for us back then was just a mere guidelines on how to solve our problems.

They allowed us to go to the West African Examination Council(waec) to check our results. To some, they had to travel to far distant places that are within 250 kilometers away from home like Ikoyi in Lagos Nigeria to check their results as much to other places to take those exams and even check those results.

But to we parents of now our days, we consider our children too young and inexperienced to do anything for themselves, aggg! The same children you enrolled in a school at age two(2), have suddenly become too young to grow up hmmn!

You think rushing them through childhood thinking cognitive achievements would see them through. Now they can't even keep their own records when they register for exams. You keep their photo cards and slips. You will result to being their result checker too.

When their results are out, you rush to the cafes to check and print their results for them and you kept on following them everywhere in order to show them everything as if they were blind.

You follow them to register for their Joint Admission And Matriculation Board(Jamb) exam and have even your own phone number on the registration form whilst staying in the car waiting for them to finish up their exam on the exam day that takes hours and then you immidiately zoom them off home.

Your over pampering attitude never allowed them to socialize.

They never get the chance to socialize as they can't even discuss the contents and conducts of the exams with other university prospective students all because you feel you loved them whereas in your own time, (you were given the time to know other students before and after you gained admission into the varsity), while the other students who discusses such academic improving talks are not protected by their own parents, sorry you being a parent(s) that does that.

When the their jamb results are out, you will be the one to get the notification because you have used your own phone number on the registration form and then you also pick from there by rushing down to print their result and start thinking of how to get their admission processed for them.

Finally, when their admission is secured, you will be the one to go to the bank and pay all their school fees, faculty/departmental dues and this you will do discomforting yourself by traveling down some many kilometers away from home to to look for their accommodation but you can't nfortunately follow them to campus or to lectures of which I know you'd have preferred doing if you were allowed to hahahaha.

At this stage, you imevitably relax the apron and allow them to face life and it's realities for the first time on their own.

With that, in the first ever time in their lives, they will be forced to do those things for themselves as there would no longer be any dad or mom to think for them, fill their forms for them, have their numbers in place of theirs, get notifications for them or even rush to the banks to make their payments for them. What then happens next to them when they have to do such things for themselves for the first time at least?

The vicissitudes of life will come knocking at their doors

These times are very much unavoidably strong for every child that passes through the so called over parental love and pampering.

What you see at this stage is that they fail either four, five or more courses out of the nine courses they take in their first semester in 100 level but struggle to move on.

When it happens again in their 200 and 300 levels respectively, they consider all their hardships of the last two years, the suffering is magnified in their weak minds, they find no one to talk to since they were not allowed to socialize with the other fellow students and they blame themselves and YOU for creating the hardships thus, they resolve to opt out of life. Now tell me, who's faults were they?

My advice for we all parents

Dear parents, ease a d please, always allow your your children to make their mistakes and to build a level of dependence on themselves and chat with their course or school mates.

Don't say because I'm rich and as such I won't allow them experience hardship.

Always try to induce a level or a degree of hard work around the home in order to check how they can survive outside the canopy of your feathers.

Stop raising weak children because the world out there is for the strong only and do remember that it is a battle of the survival for the fittest where only the strongest survives and remember that when you are over protective of a child, they tend to lose so much confidence in themselves, after all, THERE HAS NEVER BEEN SWEET WITHOUT SWEAT

Thanks for reading my article and I hope this will help change some mind perspectives as it has changed mine being a single parent, good morning.

Header image is from my phone gallery.