If we knew how much harm we do to those around us, through our various behaviors, I think the availability for change and evolution would increase exponentially.

So how do we stop others?

Easy, not giving them the opportunity to grow with us. Before I go any further, I have a request. From now until the end of June, look at yourself, but also at the environment in which you live, and see (your) behaviors that hinder the development of others.

So how? Here it is: not letting people do something 😇 Here are three examples that most of you are familiar with.

The first of the mother, father, family who does everything for the child. From the first moments of life, the family is there for the child, perfectly normal. Support is the key, but the ability to discern how far we can go and where we allow our wings to grow is essential. Do you know the behavior of parents who want to give their children everything? From putting them in their mouths when they can already do that, to giving them a toy instead of letting their baby take it, to chasing after them, to intervening for them among friends, to those who I talk and answer instead of the offspring, not to mention making decisions on behalf of the little one (or not) and end with the memory of a situation in which the "leg" of 18 years did not want to grow up but the family did and the adulthood took place.

The second example is the marriage in which one of the spouses martyrs himself and does the work in place of the other. She cooks, washes, irons, takes care of the house, if necessary, the children, goes shopping, chooses the holidays, pays the bills and what else do they have as a couple to do. To the point where, although the other one could, not only does he no longer have the availability but also the necessary fun.

I give the third example from a discussion in which I was told that he had not allowed a friend to do a job x because my interlocutor knew that maybe he was better than his friend.

And this is how we become "the hindrance of others."

I explain briefly:

- doing everything for children, we cut their chance to develop from the beginning. To understand what it means to make decisions, the ability to discern good from evil, to know what to expect. Not to mention the management of the situation, the adaptation of behavior, the creation of connections, friendships, the ability to socialize and fraternize with different people or groups. In Romanian, many parents "spoil" their children out of an exacerbated desire to help, control or be with them. Look at the non-speakers, they learn, guide and release the puppies. Give them the best, but also the chance to develop on their own. They fell, perfect! You will be there to encourage them to get up and shake off their dusty clothes, let alone bear the fall in their place. The chance at life is given by trust, not by giving of everything. There are so many children who do not know how to cope with life, to adapt, to make friends, they have a false self-esteem. And painful.

- and consortia break up with each other. Someone recently told me how she and her husband did it all together and how they learned from each other. A marriage, a relationship, a connection is about developing partners by learning from each other, with the mention that both are open. If I have the ability to cut onions, then I can pass on the teaching to the person next to me. If the other person knows how to make mayonnaise better, it comes out tastier and has a technique that doesn't cut it, let's see this miracle too 😋 it leads to frustration, exhaustion, reproach, unavailability, separation and division (even if not physical, but the most painful - emotional).

Writing about them, I can think of a couple who have been together for almost 40 years. In the house of the esteemed, the woman did most of it. And because she didn't have much to do with anyone, and because she was always unhappy. Well, our housewife has gotten sick and the wonderful gentleman has to do the work for her 😱! Besides the fact that the communication between the two is "water gun", and rarely hit, they woke up at the point where she expects everything to be done "as she does", when he is more of an amorphous, reinforced concrete in the household. He also found out that he had to do women's business because there was no one left.

- who would want friends with a "he knows them all" always? And who wouldn't let you, in your inexperience, do something? And friendship is about superiority and control 🥶? Of course, we do not dispute that it is nice to have good friends at all and you wonder what acquaintances. But still.

Anyway, at least I didn't go down without explaining myself first. For the love of art 🤗

The idea is simple: by not letting others live the experience, we are directly opposed to their development 🛑 This is exactly the aspect we ask you to observe in you and in your environment. The habit, even the grips through which we always jump to do something for others.

By simply not letting a person suck, you are obstructing his ability to learn to do something. You limit him, you pass that ability on to him.

You know very well that repetition is the mother of learning, that is, practice. But if we put ourselves between experience and individual, chances are we will wake up, over time, with a disabled person. And not physically, but as an experience and living life.

Like this:

- parents wake up with children unable to live their lives, full of fears, anxieties, dependent on those who gave them life

- spouses with absent partners, unavailable, living in other realities (even relationships)

- and friends with other friends who "know them all" so well that only one pedestal is missing. Undoubtedly, all self-esteemed connoisseurs would climb on it on their own, because only they know how and still can

No doubt read this because some of you want to become aware of something. What? Time will tell. I wish and wish you all the best.