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When I was a Little Boy

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Written by   41
2 months ago
Topics: Poem, Poetry, Art, Mental Health, Emotions, ...

September 26, 2021

We humans, since the day we are born people around us, are figuring out our purpose the same way that other people did to them. And as the days pass and we become older that idea intensifies and they will start to ask many questions. Sometimes people in our environment want to control us on how we will see the world or what to feel about it. They will feed us ideas, change our cloth, our hair, and will observe if they get the result they wanted. As we all know we it affects many children both emotionally and physically.

The First Step: The Plan

Sometimes it affects many of us in an irreversible manner and sometimes we adopted it and think that is the way we want to see or feel. But there are some that go against the flow and seek their path or their own way to live, and people call that rebel?

Those people affected by it will be having a hard time picking and choose on what is their priority. They think about the seed that the people planted o his or her mind and the dream that he or she really wanted. The first time we think about it will be hard because it is new to us, we can be overwhelmed with all the thoughts that we want to think and what they wanted us to think. It will be hard to pick what is your true priority your goal or the other`s goal.

If you are not in this position, it will be easy for you to choose what will be your priority. You will say to choose the goal that you want right? But when you are in that position it will never be easy especially when you are not a full adult yet and when you rely on everything you need for them.

Am I Alone?

This will be worse as we go further and deep into our minds, now we are not alone thinking. Those voices in our head will start to talk and will try to consume us, they will tell us old stories that will affect how we think and how we will decide. And this will be exhausting, there will be a point that you will break down because of the pressure that you are putting on your shoulders. There will be the time that your true dream or goal will be awakened and you will think that it is the best time to choose. Until you find yourself staring in the abyss and when you realized it, tears will eventually pour out from your eyes.

The Next Step: Conversation

The next chapter will be even harder, obviously, you choose to follow your own dream or goal and you will tell it to your parent or whoever you think is in charge of your life. And many parents will not like it because they are working on it since the day you are born and there are some that will understand it and it is good, everyone likes that.

Let's focus on those people that don`t understand, again they will try to manipulate you, and again you will be manipulated, same old story right? after a few days or weeks you will realize that you are being manipulated again. Then you will try to talk to them again, and this time it will be intense.

Of course, they will disagree and you will talk back, and they will bring back all the things they did for you and you know where we are going. You will try to fight for what you believe in and they will do the same, they will fight for what they believe is the best for you, and they will say it in your face. On that conversation, one of you will snap and everyone will be silenced by it.

The only Ending that the Main Character is Alone

Now you are alone, all the odds are against you. But now you feel free, why? Because you said what you want to say that you hold in your chest for too long. You will feel alone but you will be free and will start your own journey from the ground going to the sky.

Sad to say, this is the journey of many children, this is how they suffer. See, many parents see their child as an investment or livestock that will be harvested in the future. Be a doctor they said, even you are not that smart, and then they will say, when you become a doctor you will bring me to a different country and live there and the worst part is that they don`t even ask if you want to be live in other country or travel a certain part of the world. Some will say If you graduate, you are the one that will pay for your cousins' school tuitions and many more nonsense and responsibilities that they will put on your shoulders.

This is what really happening in the back of some smiles that you are seeing, the constant pressure, regrets, and sometimes anger that they hold to maintain the illusion of peace in his or her environment, thinking that always saying yes will make it easier.

When I was a little boy I want to be an astronaut, exploring new planets and watching everything from the moon, but they said I will be a lawyer. When I grow up I think being an astronaut is too wild for me, so I want to be an artist, the idea of creation always fascinated me... they still said I will be a lawyer... I think it is time for me to answer...

How can I be a good lawyer if I can`t defend my own dream?

All Images are from Unsplash

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Written by   41
2 months ago
Topics: Poem, Poetry, Art, Mental Health, Emotions, ...
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