I still don't know where I am going, it's been 1 year since I stopped going to school. I packed my bag and started to travel to places that I want to go to. I started to follow things and do the things that I loved and make me happy. I become happy when I am in the moment with the people I want to be with, I am happy and not hollow when I am doing all the things that I want, but when it is done, I become nothing again.
I dreamed to be a writer, and I become one, I dreamed to be an artist and I become one. But why I am still empty inside? I feel that all of the things that I have accomplished mean nothing to me and to other people. I just look at my life like it is nothing, empty and nonsense.
There is one time when I and my friends climb a mountain, It feels very great. Before that day, I go to the mall to buy all the things I need for the hike. Since I am not an outdoor person, I have no gear like a camping tent and even a water bottle to bring in the hike. I purchase everything that I need like camping tents, hiking shoes, reusable water bottles, and long sleeves to protect my skin in the long hike. Shopping is always fun for me when I was walking in the mall, I purchase a lot of stuff that I think I need, but when I arrived home I will realize that I don't need the thing that I bought.
On the day of the hiking, it was fun, full of energy, and hope to complete the hike. We started the hike early in the morning, it is cold and a bit hazy, It is fine for me because I lived in cold areas for a long time. In the first hour of the hike it feels fine and happy, we talk about what are the things we are expecting in the hike. Some of my friends expect that we can complete the hike before it gets dark later in the day and some are just enjoying the moment and don't think a lot during the hike.
When we arrived at the first station and it is already afternoon, many of us don't expect that this hike will be this long. We eat lunch while we chat with each other, we talk about how our life is going. In this friend group, many of us go in different ways than normal, we follow what we want despite studying in a university. Some of my friends are in the music industry, some are photographers, some are spending time selling items online and many of us become writers. So from the beginning, I know that this hike will be one of the best and memorable.
We decided to continue the hike, every time we go upward the more beautiful it becomes.
When I was a child, I have a dream to become a forest ranger, I want to protect the animal and the trees in the mountains. Since I was a little child I love animals, especially wild and exotic animals, I believe they deserve more respect because they are the ones who come first on this earth.
But that dream eventually died because I got no any kind of support from my parent and relative. They said that there is no money in that field and I will be forever poor and in the worst-case scenario, I will be homeless when I am old. Since I was a little boy back then, I just give up that dream because at that time I believe that I should follow everything my parents say and I owe my life to them. But now I know that it is not correct and we can choose the life we wanted.
We are at the top of the mountain and we spend the night there. We share some memories, like how we met and become friends, how we started our careers, and how it is going.
Many of start from nothing, I work as a waiter in a restaurant near our town, I used all the money from my job to buy equipment that I need to start my career. I put all of my hope and energy to build my empire, and I think is all going according to plan. I am happy with where I am now, and I can see all of my friends are happy too, I hope it will continue for as long as we want.
At the end of this hike I realized something, in the start of this writing I said that I am kind of lost and I don't know where I want to go, but now, everything is different. I know where I am going and where I will be happy.
All Images Are from Unsplash 