Physical boundaries help to provide a protection of sorts. Sometimes, boundaries are meant to keep people out while at other times it serves to prevent conflicts especially if the parties which it separates acknowledges or recognises its presence. Nation States and communities usually exercise their territorial powers within the confines of their boundaries. That being said there's another kind of boundary which people often neglect to put up. It is not a physical boundary but one of principles in relating with others. Failure to do this has resulted in some individuals having to suffer emotional and sometimes physical trauma.
In today's world having boundaries in relationships is vital to avoid getting hurt. A video I watched recently depicted how people can exploit the innocence or kind nature of others for their personal benefits. One of the panelists or discussants in the video summarises her advise based on the experiences of those that called in in 4 words:
Learn to say NO
Her advise may appear harsh but after reading this piece you may be forced to reconsider your initial reaction to it. I will attempt to narrate two of the experiences shared by those who called in to the programme.
The first was the case of an elderly man who had served meritoriously without blemish as a government official being librarian at a point during his service. His tale of pain occurred close to when he was due to retire from public service. The aged man bitterly narrated how he had been given a book as a gift by someone who ought to have been a friend while preparing to fly abroad for his son's wedding. By divine providence he managed to arrive at his destination without incidence.
It was only upon scrutiny and careful inspection of the book (which turned out to be a Trojan horse) that his son found out that narcotics has been embedded into the book via lamination. The man narrated that when his son made the discovery and accosted him as to the content of the book, he wept profusely at the betrayal of his friend.
He posited that what would have been the story if the content hidden in the book had been discovered at the airport? He would surely have been arrested and the media would have had a field day with the 'scandal' of a high ranking public servant who has used his knowledge about books by virtue of being a librarian to engage in drug smuggling.
He further stated that when his so called friend showed up to pick up the (Greek) gift probably so that he could retrieve its concealed content, he pounced on him and warned him to stay away from himself as well as his family members. The fact that he was a book lover was probably what had been exploited as the so called friend knew he would likely not reject a book as a gift.
The second was that of a lady who was about to go on a trip to one of the popular tourist destinations in the Middle East. She explained that her mother called her just before she embarked on the flight that a friend needed her help to deliver a clothing fabric to her son. The lady accepted to convey the item without hesitation considering that the request was coming from her mother's friend. She explained that because her other luggage had already being checked in, she had to carry the fabric in her hand luggage.
Upon arrival at the destination airport, she explained that on going through the security devices that checked for illegal items, the device kept on beeping which caused the security officials to take her aside for thorough inspection of the contents of her hand luggage. By a stroke of luck they did not find the illegal item which was setting off the security alarms and thus they let her go.
She added that upon arrival at her hotel room she decided to rearrange the contents of her hand luggage including the fabric as the items had become scattered in the course of the inspection by the airport's security officials. To her utmost shock while rearranging the fabric , several credit cards dropped out of the folded material. The credit cards had the serial numbers and other usual information aside from the name of the holders.
It was at this point that she realised that it was these items that were setting off the alarms at the airport. She opted to garbage the cards and left the fabric at her hotel's reception for the intended recipient to pick up. She further narrated that upon her return home from the trip, she received a call from her mother's friend who wanted to find out if she had seen some (imaginary)papers which had directions on how the fabric was to be utilised. This was simply an attempt to probe as to what had become of the credit cards which the young lady smartly shrugged off while feigning ignorance of what had actually transpired.
The cases mentioned here are those of the lucky ones who managed to escape the consequences of being unknowingly used as a mule for illicit materials. Some others are not so lucky as the penalty for being a drug mule is death in some countries. It is an usually an uphill task to prove that one is innocent when one is apprehended in possession of such items . This was the case of another caller who although didn't face the death penalty but was jailed as he was given a suitcase which had drugs concealed in it as a gift.
Dear reader while it is good to be kind and render assistance to others, do endeavour to have boundaries or 'no-go areas'. Especially when it comes to conveying items for people , do your own due diligence on the contents of what you are being requested to convey and learn to say no when the occasion demands it. Do not be bothered or afraid of what people will say if you opt to decline, because if such packages contain illicit or contraband items , you alone will bear the brunt.
Shukran
Danke
Merci
Gracias
ขอบคุณ
ধন্যবাদ
Спасибо
for reading.
