How to Turn a Toxic Relationship into a Healthy Relationship

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Relationships are not made...they are built out of love, trust, and caring

How to Turn a Toxic Relationship Into a Healthy Relationship

Remember that a toxic relationship is one where love is prioritized over everything else, including respect, trust, and affection for each other. It’s more than just a “rough patch”—it’s a recurring, long-term pattern of bad behavior on one or both sides. So how do you shift these patterns in a relationship?

Now, the road from a toxic relationship to a healthy one is not an easy one. I’m going to be honest: most people won’t be able to do it. BUT—there is a chance things can change for the better. You have your work cut out for you, but if you can do the following three things, you have a shot at making it work:

BOTH partners are willing to change. Seems pretty obvious, but if one of you isn’t serious about making the relationship better, well, that’s your answer. On the other hand, if you’ve both expressed a genuine willingness to work things out, you may proceed…

BOTH partners recognize the lack of affection/trust/respect and are willing to work on it. Even if you both want things to get better, you still have to admit that a problem exists and agree on what needs to be fixed. This is harder than it sounds. One person might feel like they aren’t trusted and so they think that’s what needs to be worked on. The other person, however, has no trust in the relationship because there is no affection. Or one person might not totally be honest about what the problem is—they don’t want to be the one who says they don’t trust the other person, for example. Whatever it is, you have to be clear and honest about what’s keeping the relationship toxic.

BOTH partners can communicate in a healthy way without excessive blaming or judgment. You can be willing to work on things, you can even be on the same page about what the real problem is, but if one or both of you is out to blame the other person, it’s just not going to work. It really doesn’t matter whose fault it is if the goal is to move the relationship in a healthy direction. That means both people have to prioritize the relationship over their selfish desires to be right or to “win.”

Again, fixing a toxic relationship is not an easy thing to do, but most things in life worth doing are not easy. You might also decide to end the relationship at some point, and that’s okay, but if you’re both willing to work on it, then it’s worth the effort and the awkward conversations and, yes, even the pain.