As a result of re-emerging inner wounds, a person often injures herself

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Two days ago, someone I didn't know sent me a chat message. She recounted an incident that had recently happened to her. However, the incident brought back a sense of trauma so that she often injures herself. This hurt my feelings. So, the one who sent this chat message was a 23-year-old girl. She had a bad experience in the past, which was often the victim of sexual abuse by her cousin when she was 13 years old. The incident was never known by her parents and family until now.

Every time she remembers the incident, she will feel anxious, sweat, heart palpitations, and the desire to hurt herself. When around other people, parents, and family, she tries to hide her feelings as if nothing happened. But when she was alone in the room, she would scratch her head, hands, and feet until she bled. She always covers up the wounds that he does so that his parents and younger sister don't know. But right now she wanted to use a sharp object to injure herself. I shed tears when I read the message in a chat.

And a week ago, a male friend she just met through her Instagram sent a chat message to her. The content of the messages from the chat always leads to sexual conversations, it makes her feel uncomfortable and creates trauma over her past events. I also told her to block the Instagram account and also her male friend's WhatsApp contact. If this continues, things like this will only make things worse. It felt so heavy in the girl's situation that her frustration and depression could hurt her.

I gave some directions that could be an alternative way to make her better, even though it wouldn't immediately heal her inner wound. I hope this method is useful for her.

1. Hug Yourself

   This can be done before bed or after waking up. The method is very easy, just take a comfortable position and take a deep breath through your nose, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. Do this at least three times so that the body and feelings become relaxed. Cross your arms over your shoulders as if you were hugging someone. Remember a pleasant event or positive achievement that has been done. Whisper to yourself appreciative sentences that can strengthen yourself, such as; "Thank you for me who is still holding on until now, even though all the events that were faced were so hard, but you chose to keep going. Thank you very much".
   

2. Breathing relaxation

   It's a kind of meditation. Since I come from a Buddhist family, I understand a lot about this. In the Buddhist tradition, meditation has many benefits for one's soul and mind. When anxiety and other unpleasant thoughts and feelings reappear, we can relax by focusing on our breath. The trick is also simple, take a comfortable sitting position, take a deep breath through your nose and hold it for three seconds, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Do this repeatedly and invite yourself to ask about how you are feeling right now. Focus on the feelings you want to stabilize. Keep doing it until you feel relaxed. When you do this, thoughts often occur. When that happens, refocus on breathing. Tell yourself that this feeling is only temporary and will go away soon.
   

3. Letting go of negative thoughts and feelings with activities

   I often tell this method to my friends who are suffering from anxiety problems. The only way is to do activities you like such as sports, drawing, cooking, singing, etc. This way will release the feelings and thoughts that are stuck in us. This way will also reduce the feeling of wanting to hurt yourself.

The three ways I told the girl were just a few of the ways to make her feel better. But I also recommend she come to the nearest psychologist for consultation and find the best way for trauma healing so as not to hurt herself again. It's really hard to carry such a burden. There is a sense of dilemma to keep hiding feelings of hurt like this in front of the family. But you also need your family to support you.

Many people in this hemisphere have had painful events, but must be able to control themselves so as not to dissolve in the inner hurt they feel. For you girls or women who feel the same way, I wish you well. I hope the inner wounds you feel will heal soon and you can smile again. Regards.