Raindrops Falling...

In life, there will always be ups and downs. Some days would be feeling like cloud nine, some days would feel like you've been robbed of everything. You may feel sad now but tomorrow you'll never know you may feel happiness for a certain event or a certain person. Life itself is very unexpected that it will make you get excited on each day your living.

I never got the chance to ponder my life as a child. You know, we are all dependent on our parents as we can't do everything on our own. That's why in everything we do, like a field trip or something a minor isn't allowed, there's always a corresponding parents consent. I remember just being carefree. Playing outside not thinking on what's to eat for meal times or thinking on how to pay the water or electricity bills. I always wanted to be a child forever. But eventually, all of us would grow and that's the start of the changes we should embrace in our lives.

I'm a pluviophile. Do you know what it means? It means a lover of rain. I love rain so much that I wanted the weather to always be gloomy and giving off drizzles of rain if possible. Well, not to the extent of flooding but the feeling of being cold and wet. But do you know when this love for rain started? It started with small raindrops that I can compare as challenges in my life.

• The first raindrop was when my half older sisters decided to move out from our house. I have two half sisters from my mother's side. They wanted to break free from the family so when they graduated from high school, they looked for jobs and rented a bedspacer room. That's when all the duties and tasks was passed onto me. From the cleaning of the house, washing the dishes and clothes, but I never got to learn cooking. So, I consider it as my first raindrop as I'm a bit shocked to the chores especially the washing of clothes. I never thought mens apparel would be heavy. It's my first remembrance of blisters and cuts in my fingers. I know it's petty, like there are some children much younger than me who experienced worst but at that time, as petite as I could be, I always cry whenever I wash clothes. Like I wish my father would buy me a washing machine. And he literally did. Ah, memories of him being responsible.

• The second raindrop was when I was in college. I entered an essay competition in an interschool league. My school isn't that famous from the schools who attended. It's like I'm competing from the ivy league schools we have here. It's an English essay with two thousand words in any topic you like to present. I decided for global warming that time. Well, up until now, I always have the urge to preach about global warming. Hehe. So, I passed my entry and waited for a whole day for the winners. And guess what, I won first place at that event. The happiness I felt that time was enormous I really smiled to anyone I interact with. The certificates will be given the day after the competition so I'm very excited for tomorrow. Then, tomorrow came and the disappointment my face looked when I heard the news, they say I didn't won first place and mistakenly announced the winner yesterday. Ateneo won and the list goes on from the elite schools. Well, so much of a biased world we live.

• The third and last raindrop that I will share was when my father slapped me really hard. One rainy evening, from all the chaos that my everyday life had been witnessing, I've said hurtful words to my drunk father to wake him up for being irresponsible. So hurtful that I am crying while saying it. I received a hard slap from him, no, more like a punch in my left cheek that for a moment I just stayed still, eyes wide in shocked, tears flowing like a faucet and my mother's scream. The numbness I felt in my cheek would not fathom the sorrow and grief I felt for that is the first time my father lifted a hand on me. I have faults too but I never expected it to happen.

I have so many tiny raindrops everyday that I call challenges and problems. No one is exempted from those. I love rain so much because I hate it too much. It symbolizes the problems I carry. Whenever I see droplets of rain, memories from all those hardships will flow like a river. But God said, embrace your enemy and love it that's why I love rain. I love it to the point of breaking.

"The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve but a reality to experience. A process that cannot be understood by stopping it. We must move with the flow of the process. We must join it. We must flow with it. Let go. And you will be at peace with everything after."

I have shared these lines in noise and I feel the urge to share it here. I am thrilled to experience more. Even though it hurts sometimes but it never fails to make me feel alive.

Post Note 

Hey there lovies,

Hope you're all doing fine. I am beginning to get better. Thanks for the meds I've been taking. I still have slight fever and a headache as of this writing but I guess I can manage to go to work tomorrow. I pray for everyone's safety and wellness.

See you in my next article. 👋

Cheering you always,

LuaDesamor 😉

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January 23, 2022 / 22:15 PH time