"Uncertain Pathway"

Have you ever dream of becoming someone in the future? Have you set a goal for your self? How was it? Did it happen or still in the process?

This article of mine entitled Uncertain Pathway is all about my dream on what i want to be in the future or when i finish my study.

Maybe some of you will get curious why it is entitled Uncertain where the meaning is not sure about something.

Let us get started. I will share to you one of my life stories.

During my elementary days:

When i was in elementary, my dream is to become a doctor. My parents always ask me why? I answered them "I want to treat people who have illness, I want to help people whose less fortunate. I will give my service free to them." So they said to me that i need to study hard in order to become a doctor.

But when i started to grow up, i discovered that i have a hemophobia or fear of blood. Everytime i saw blood i feel like im going to faint and even if im not the one who got wound if i saw them with that wound bleeding i feel like i am the one whos hurting. Because of this my parents told me if i still want to be a doctor someday.

During my highschool:

Photo was taken when i graduated with high honors in senior high school.

My parents are so proud to me back then. I saw the happiness in their eyes and this was my unforgettable moment with my mom. This is my last picture with her :(

So when i was in highschool, i dont want to become a doctor anymore. I change my mind.

• I want to become a flight attendant. But knowing that flight attendant have high standard. They have minimum height requirements and you should have pretty face they say. I doubt i have those requirements of them.

• I want to become a teacher, yes a teacher. When they asked me why i answered that i want to teach, i want to share my knowledge. But something happened, when we had our ojt back in senior high we assigned in the school. At first im excited but when i started my day as a student teacher i realized that im not align with this profession. I easily get irrated when the students didnt listen. I have a very short-tempered person so i dont think i can handle a class.

• Lastly, when i enrolled in the university i took BSA or Bachelor of science in accountancy. Its very obvious if i able to graduate i will become an accountant. That was my parents want for me. So, eventhough im not sure with it and i know i don't want it i still follow them because they are the one whose supporting me in my study. I passed the entrance exam and during my first year in college i must say it was very hard for me. Im not graduate as abm student back when i was in senior high i took GAS (General Academic Strand) this is suitable for all students who wants to become a teacher or undecided. There are words and lesson that im not familiar in my accounting subjects but most of my classmates it seems that it is easy to them because they are abm students they encountered it. There are times that i just sit on the corner and cry when the amount if my answer is not balance even if i repeat it again it still not balance. In our school they have what they called a "Qualifying exam". We should pass this exam in order for us to go to second year. But unfortunately i failed that exam so we advised to shift course and the suggested course that is not far to accountancy is financial management so we shift there. I don't really have an idea about financial management all i want back then is to find a course as soon as possible in order for me not to run out of slots.

• Second year college my course is already a financial management until now im incoming fourth year. I learned a lot while studying, i also learn to love this course. I made an adjustment and study well.

Eventhough i learn to love my current course theres still a missing piece within me. Im still not sure what i want to be. I still don't know what job i will get when i graduate. I really dont have an idea about how my life would be in the future. What i am after i graduate? Would i becoke successful or im still stuck and uncertain on what i want to be.

So many professions that i dream of but here i am still undecided. Maybe i need more time to find what i want really. I hope there still enough time for me. I hope time wouldn't run out for me. I hope my mind and heart will meet halfway. I hope i will make a good decision that i will not regret in the end.

https://unsplash.com/photos/4eBOAeFfY0w

Feel free to give me advice. It's my pleasure :)

-Loveleng