Life will never be the same anymore. As my papa is now in heaven, all I can think about is the way on how I can take care of my mother better and how to continue living. I disconnected myself from most people. I just wanted to stay at home, curl up in bed and be busy with speaking to my papa. I'm glad that I was able to speak with him during hi last moments on earth and I even took care of him.
I guess the sad part about it is when he can no longer recognize me. I also know that he is going to heaven that day but I can't accept that fact easily. My father is the sweetest and the best father. He took care of me and my siblings in Bicol since we were little as my mom has to work in Manila. He is someone who will never let his family starve mo matter how difficult a situation is.
I can say that I am more than blessed to grow up in a complete family. I have my mama, papa and my siblings. I've never even lived away from any of them. I know that my papa is tired from all his physical pain and I'm sad at the same time happy. Sad because I will never see him personally again as long as I live here on earth and happy because he is now forever home in the arms of the Almighty God.
They say that you will only know your true friends during your tough time and I realized that. I am the kind of person who will chat you asking how are you doing and such but when I'm the one hurt, in pain, and struggling it's sad to say that no one is there for me. The chats on messenger are not as impactful as your presence as I needed someone to lean on. You might not agree with me in this but when a friend of mine is having any trouble or difficulty, I make sure to be there. I might not know how you feel but I know when you need someone who will just listen to you.
Maybe it's my fault for expecting too much from them, or I'm still sensitive and emotional right now or it might be because they aren't just really there. They don't care about me as much as I care about them.
THINGS YOU CAN DO FOR SOMEONE WHO IS GRIEVING
Monetary help
Your monetary help is a big help for the family who just lost someone. We're just blessed as we have a St. Peter Life Plan but what if we don't? Even though most of us siblings are working we still need money to provide for my father's wake. Any amount as long as it came from your heart is very much appreciated. It doesn't require a huge sum of money.
Be there
My siblings had their friends come over to papa's wake while I have my pastors and workmates come over. My boss even gave me a personal call to check on me and give me a monetary help. They made me laugh and forget about what I'm going through even just for a brief moment. Their presence is more than enough to make me feel like I am never alone in whatever battle I face. They came over even though they don't have enough sleep yet. They were there to provide me comfort and love. It was a first as I never experienced any appreciation and care from my first employer. You see, someone's presence is more than enough for someone who is grieving.
Allow those who grieve to grieve
My workmates and everyone who came over my father's wake allowed my mom and my older brothers to tell them the start of my father. They were just there sitting and listening intently. They allowed themselves to feel and hear out our loss. Don't tell them to stop crying. No one actually told me to stop crying except for my siblings. They embraced me and did their best to make me smile. The messages I received are messages of encouragement but none of it mattered at that moment. I just wanted to cry and be sad which I did. They let me feel better by allowing me to just cry and be my vulnerable self.
Be respectful
There are instances when a person who is grieving wouldn't want to meet, speak or do anything for a while and the best thing that you can do is to respect that decision. The physical, emotional, and spiritual pain that I felt that time is undescribable. It was uncontainable. I don't know where is the pain coming from or how the pain will go away all I just know is that it was painful. Painful to the point that I can literally feel my chest tighten. Honestly, I'm still crying until now. In the morning, evening or any time of the day. One definite truth is the fact that I cry everyday. I just don't let my mom and my siblings hear or see it. I'm blessed to have a boss like her. I submitted my resignation letter last October 6 and now, she's allowing me to be on leave this week as I told her that I have no plans of coming back to work just yet. She understood and gave me this week like a parting gift. She allowed me to just simply be.
Pray for them
This is the least on the list but this is also the most powerful thing that you can do for anyone who is grieving. Your prayers for them and their families are what they needed the most. Ask for God's love, peace, comfort and provision to be upon them and their bereaved families. The life after losing someone is never an easy life. It is a life filled with regret, sorrow and confusion. That's why your prayers are what's needed the most.
The things listed on this article are based on my own experience. Our opinion might differ but I hope that you become respectful of your comments.
Love_16
December 13, 2021
Wednesday
