Things I thought but aren't

I thought that once I am already a public school teacher, things will definitely get better, but the painful reality embraced me without any warning. It was a long process and journey to begin with. It was filled with unending deadlines after deadlines and unwanted additional tasks.

I'm actually starting to contempmeate whether I'd stay in my current school or I'd go abroad where I'll be compensated well for my teaching job. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching kids but I don't like the system that embodies it. The system that's always been the problem since the beginning.

My 1st school year taught me that newbies like me has no say in anything. I just have to comply and do the tasks given to me even though I don't know how to do it since it was given to me without any explanation or orientation. If ever I try to reason out, they'll label me as someone who likes to complain about everything. They expected me to just keep my mouth shut and accept whatever task they give me. Which I am not, that caused me a lot of trouble.

My 2nd school year taught me that no matter what I do, I can never please everybody. We had a school based teacher assessment from both the teachers and the students. I got a rating of 4.6 from my students but I only got 3.4 from my colleagues. The reason? They said that I'm just a newly hired teacher and yet I'm already showing them a nasty attitide of being bossy and such. I'm honestly touched on how my students actually see me because I'm the strict type of teacher but they've seen me beyond that. They appreciate me which is one of the most important things for me.

I thought that things will become a lot easier for me now but it wasn't. The beginning of the school year was a mess and yet here I am, sharing this with you. Earlier today, my workmates were talking about the teaching load that I have. I was the example that they've set and it was just way too unbecoming for me. I'm always seen. I've also been trying to express myself a little better than I always do but I'm always misunderstood.

I think Taylor Swift's song lyric fits me. "It's me, hi! I'm the problem it's me. At tea time everybody agrees."

I just want to teach and nothing else. If only that's all that I'll be doing, then things will be a lot easier and better for me. By the way I missed writing here. It's been a while since I've had my last article published and I think that I'll be writing more often since I have no one to share my troubles with anyway.

Good night everyone! Let me hear from you as well. 💗💓

Love_16

June 16, 2023

Friday