Things I stopped Doing
I've been in a lot of trouble the past month. I was humiliated, hurt and unheard but it's fine. I'm fine. I still goto work, pay my bills, study every Saturday and I somehow go to church but I still miss a few Sunday Services. The church is a walking distance from our house but there are instances that I can't go to church for different reasons.
I was invited to an overnight stay to a friend's house and I learned a lot things which had been an eye opener for me. And for that, I stopped doing a few things.
I stopped caring about what others think about me.
I go to work, do my job then get paid. I just do what I can, when I can. I don't need to over exert myself that much especially if it's not worth my time. Before the incident, I'm the type of person who likes to voice out my opinion. I always stand for what is right and I will not just keep silent even if everybody hates me. But now it's different.
Say whatever you want to say about me, I don't care anymore. I will not waste my time and energy because I will never get anything out of people or the situation. It will not make me rich to nit pick or get affected about every single thing that happens to me.
I stopped talking about personal stuff to other people.
It did me no good to share about my personal struggles and problems to others because they don't really care. No one got me, but myself and my family. I've shared my story and trusted a lot of people about my personal life and yet here I am hurt and disappointed in the end. My story was told to others without me knowing. I wasn't understood just like how I expected to be. They listen to respond not to understand.
Besides I'm used to always keep things to myself. I don't have to pretend or feel guilty for keeping things to myself. I trust myself more than anyone else. I don't want my trust to get rbiejn every single time that I share my personal struggle to others.
I stopped staying later than expected.
These past few days, I always go home on time. The van service had been my excuse but the truth is I just really wanted to leave and go home as soon as possible. I don't like staying later than expected because it takes a toll on me. I still bring home a few works but I try to finish everything at work as much as possible.
If ever I have to do something at home, I make sure that it will not take my whole day. I also need to rest, recharge and have the time to do what I want to do. I also need to relax.
I stopped sending personal messages to others.
I allow them to reach out yo me first and not the other was around. I've always been the one to send them messages which is also bothersome for them but now, I learned that I should not disturb them in any way anymore. If I have something to do then I must do it by myself. If I can't do it or it's not within my skills then that's the time that I'll ask do help. I will not disturb others unnecessarily.
I can do it because I tried asking for help and yet it was used against me. It just hurts me a lot to even think about it. But it's okay because I have a family to love and support me because not everyone has their families to be with them.
November 11, 2022