I have nothing against my boss and my workmates. They are all kind and I'm blessed to experience a workplace where I am valued, respected and well compensated. I have nothing against them except for the changing schedule every week. I don't want to work in night shift but since it's what's on the contract I signed, then I have no choice but to oblige.
I was able to build a good relationship with a few of them, especially to a few people whom I like to hang out with at the office and even on chats. Whenever we talk, we get to see and feel each other's comfort. We talk about life and the work itself. We also get to know each other better. I'm glad that I met them.
Before making any decision, I need to weigh the options and consider my whole family. I can't imagine how my life would be or how would I be if I ever I'm still unemployed until now. If I resign, all the financial needs of our family will be shouldered by my mom alone since my sister is currently unemployed. But I'm glad that she was finally able to get away from her toxic company.
If I resign, I don't have a backup plan or a new job to take in. I'll be a bystander at home and wait for what my mom can get for our family. If is resign, I won't be able to have my check ups anymore since I will no longer have the HMO benefit from the company. I won't have money to buy medicine. I won't be able to pay half the internet bill and give money to my parents. I won't be able to buy groceries for them or but our dish. I won't be able to fulfill my goal which is to give them a present each birthday they have.
I felt ashamed of myself for being unemployed for 10 months and now that I am employed all I get to do is to complain about being employed. The job is way too difficult for me. I'm doing my best but I'm still failing. I know that I might be driven by my emotions but this is how I've been feeling since day 1.
I admit, earning a salary twice my monthly salary from my 1st job is really a good feeling. It also makes me happy whenever I withdraw and even if my salary is most of the times zero balance. At least I am able to provide for my family needs.
I searched for a resignation letter template and I will be printing it by Sunday at my sister's house. I will also create a soft copy which I can forward to all the boss at the company.
I'm afraid to tell my family because they are so against it. But I really can't last in this nature of work. I was planning to last for at least a year on the company but if I can't then I won't try to push myself too hard. My health is much more important than my job.
*****
There were my thoughts way back May 7, 2021, Friday. I was so sure about what I wanted to do, why I wanted to do it and how I'm gonna do it, but things changed overtime. I somehow got used to my job and one day, I just woke up knowing the fact that if I quit that time I will be left as a bystander. I will be disappointing my family. I will have no money to give them and I wouldn't know how good it is to work in a healthy environment.
I'm blessed to not make the decision right at that time. If I did, I'd probably regret it. If ever you're somehow emotional, the best thing for you to do and think about is the fact that you need to calm down and sort your emotions before saying anything or deciding about anything.
As of now, I'm still adjusting with my current job but I'm already getting the hang of it. I'm also blessed to have the source of income and not just waiting for things to happen. It's obvious that everything is as easy as how I imagined it to be but it's one of the best things and decisions that happened in my life.
Everything that happens whether good or bad, is teaching me something I can never learn without me experiencing that exact same thing. I'm not always happy but I'm not always sad either.
Gratefulness is one of the most important key factors in life which drives out a person to do his best at all times. Have a grateful heart dear you!
Love_16
June 19, 2021
Saturday
