Every parent wants to be involved in his child's life no matter how a child ages. A parent will always want to be by the side of his children as much as possible. When a child is sick, parents often ask for the sickness to be theirs so that the child will always love a happy and healthy life with no worries.
The reality of life is that a parent can't always be there for their kids no matter how much they desire to do so. A child will come to a point in his life when he needs to be on his own and do things without the supervision of his parents.
The best thing to keep a parent away from worry is by preparing the kids for their future. Preparation takes time. It's a process that each person must go through in order to face the future with less worry.
Parents must be involved in the life of their kids.
A parent's job is not just about providing financially for the kids. Being a parent is both a privilege and responsibility. Privilege because not everyone is given the chance to become a parent. Responsibility because there are things which must be provided for the needs of the kids.
Once a parent, always a parent. It doesn't have resignation, retirement or literal rest. Parents has to be there for their kids 24/7. Even though their kids has grown or has their own families, parents are still there for their kids. Even if they have their own lives and they have succeeded in their chosen careers, parents will always be there waiting for their kids to come over.
Parents has to be physically and mentally present for their kids at all times. Especially during the tough times of their kids.
The parents can give their suggestions for the course their kids are about to take but the final decision will always be on the kids.
Personal Experience:
My eldest brother lost his youngest son last year. He was at the hospital waiting for us. Baby Angel died due to complications. When we got to the hospital we were never able to meet him breathing. We just saw him wrapped in white baby blanket. I stood there crying and asking for his forgiveness for being too late.
My brother was crying because he lost his son and I've seen how it pained my mom to see him like that. Our mom didn't just stayed with us during our happy moments but during our saddest moments as well.
For another topic, my parents also allowed us to choose what we want to take when we take our college degree. We can take up whatever we want and they will just be there supporting us financially and morally. They might not have been there for our other school graduations but they always see to it that we know how proud they are to us.
Too much parental involvement is harmful.
Nowadays, many kids tend to be too dependent to their parents. It's not because they can't stand on their own, it's more of being unprepared to face the future ahead of them. A parent must know that his involvement has limits. It's important to allow the kids to commit mistakes so that they'll be able to make good judgement the next time.
Personal Experience:
Three of my older siblings are married. My parents allowed them to get married and it's my siblings decision to do so. It was our family rule to leave the house if we already got married. We have to live with our spouse on a separate house and manage our own families.
My siblings asked for the blessings of our parents. They also asked for our parents opinions and come they come to our home to seek advice from our parents.
"There are decisions which only you can make."
This is what my mom often tells me and my siblings. They never get too involved in our lives because they know that their parenting also has its limits.
Parental guidance.
This kind of guidance is needed by all the age bracket of kids. It's not limited or subjected to what a child only wants his parents to know or go through.
Social Media. Parents must secure their child in any social media platforms. Predators are everywhere.
Friends. Parents must know the type of friends their kids has. It's a way of protecting the child from wrong group of people.
Movies they watch and songs they listen to. Parents must keep an eye on these things because this gives an influence to the child.
School activities. Checking the learning growth of the child helps the parents in order to know what are the other things that a child needs in order to improve his studies.
Proper behavior. A child must know how to behave towards others. Giving respect to elders, socializing with others, and loving the family are just a few examples of the kind of behavior that a child must have.
House rules. It must be implemented for the growth and protection of the child. It's a form of training for the future of the child in his chosen career and so on.
Personal Experience:
Of my parents has to take away our gadgets in order to put us to sleep early, they will do so. They will never hesitate to ask us for the background of the people we hang out with. They will even ask for their phone numbers to check on us from time to time.
I felt as though it was shameful at first but as I grow older, I know that I'll do the same thing. I can't go on sleep overs whenever I want and I have curfew but it's okay. I can only go on sleep overs if my parents has already known my friends personally and was able to talk to them. It's to keep me from danger from outside. The safest place will always be our home.
Parental guidance is different from prying.
Guidance only means guiding, which means that the last say is still with their kids, while prying means nitpicking in every single detail. It's more of unsolicited opinions, advices or other things which might cause irritation or annoyance. It's important to understand that there are things which a child must undergo alone.
Personal Experience:
Whenever my married siblings have problems in their own families, they come to our parents to seek for help and advice but not all problems are addressed by my parents.
"You're already married, you're supposed to make decisions by yourselves."
My parents are kind and understanding. They don't go around telling us what to do especially if there are marital problems. Yes they can give an advice and counselling but not at all times. Married couples must also know how to solve their own problems.
My parents are just there to guide but the final decision will always be ours to make.
Love_16
January 5, 2021
